Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

[CinnamonGal]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi Leafers!

Checking in while on the train passing the long bridge between Denmark and Sweden - amazing light over the water and a tribute to the human mind. Meanwhile, I am training mine to settle in with what is. One thing at a time.

Thank you Jundo for reminding about the meal chant - I keep doing that whenever I remember and just sit silently for a bit if I forget the words.The wording of it resonates with me.

These days I look forward to sitting. Metta chant on the other hand is not going so well :-(.

Gassho,

Irina

[Jinyu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone!

Just a little post to say hello... Hello! :lol:
I'm sick these days, so it's not very easy to practice... but I still do it from my bed
More seriously, it has been a bit more difficult to practice "meal gatha" or even to practice metta. I'm litteraly stuck in bed for two or three more days, but I take it well, just another "kind" of practice...
At the same time, the Rakusu sewing work is stopped for the next days, it isn't evident to sew when you're coughing and snoring all time...

Hope you guys are Ok! take care!

Gassho to everyone,

Luis

[monkton]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Just logging in with my Ango report...
I think that my not-particularly-ambitious level of ango committment seems to be paying off, in that daily sitting, meal chant and metta practice seem to have become very much part of my daily routine this week. Maybe that's just because I haven't had as much to contend with as some of us (I haven't been sick - get well soon Luis! Work has been quiet - maybe a little too quiet for a small company but that follows a very busy period; and things on the domestic front are all OK). So, now I seem to have established a new base line, I've found myself being able to extend practice into other areas of daily life, which (maybe) is the idea?

I don't want to finish Ango and just go, "Phew, thank goodness that's over, now I can go back to sitting three or four times a week, maybe doing metta once a week and not doing the meal chant at all". I get the impression that this should be a gradual ratcheting-up of practice and committments - small increment and hold, another small increment and hold etc. with no ultimate end in sight.

Anyway, next week life will probably throw the inevitable curve ball and we'll see how secure my ratcheting is then...

gassho to all,
Michael

[Bansho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi,

Luis - take good care and get well soon. That's part of our Practice, too.

I get the impression that this should be a gradual ratcheting-up of practice and committments - small increment and hold, another small increment and hold etc. with no ultimate end in sight.

I like that analogy, Michael. My Ango Practice is also going fine at the moment, just ratcheting along...

Gassho
Bansho

[shogyo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi Everyone It feels good to be sharing this ango with you.

I'm enjoying the zazan although I never cease to be amazed at the things my mind can get up to. Unfortunately, due to work commitments I never seem able to join in the weekly retreat at the same time as everyone else, hopefully this will change soon.

I've been finding the metta practice very helpful and starting to try to understand a bit more clearly the importance of compassion and trying to even out my emotions as I interact with the world around me.

Gassho
Brian

[kfrance0]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

For me, zazen is a funny thing... sometimes I have to really force myself to do it (my times are right after getting up in the morning and right before bed at night). Once I actually get seated and begin, it's not bad at all. But some mornings, jeez, that extra few minutes of dozing before REALLY having to get up to avoid being late for work... :-) So far, so good, though.

[Dosho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

It's been an up and down time with my commitments, although the one I made to cut back on sweets has been very consistent and I've actually lost a few pounds! As for my sitting, it has gotten more erratic but I think that's natural as my wife headed back to work this past week and my open time has been cut way back. I suppose I should have counted on that but I didn't want to make too many assumptions about what life would be like with two little ones. Metta and meal chanting still tends to elude me somehow since my brain doesn't really have time to slow down right now. And times when I used to sit late at night now find me sleeping instead.

The interesting thing is that I always saw Ango as a time to start practices that I want to continue beyond the 100 days. If anything, I've been shown the value of the various commitments and see the impact they have on my life in so many areas, I think I'm motivated more than ever to make sitting, chanting, samu, and charity a permanent fixture in my daily activities. Now it's finding the time, but once I get a routine down with the baby I will find time. I've also just allowed myself to take time to not just be with my son, but to BE with him in that moment, fully and truly. I'm not sure I took the time to do that with our first and it's not something I would have contemplated before learning about zen and buddhism.

What's been the hardest is the social isolation that's begun, not only from the outside world but in getting used to my wife not being there everyday. I've tried to get out more, but mother's groups have been very closed to fathers and dads groups have been nonexistant. And with my extremely shy nature I've never been the type to get any group started. What I'd love is a mixed group, but that seems a very unlikely reality. Why do I mention these things? As I noted in another thread recently, beyond my wife and my boys Treeleaf is really my only connection to the outside world and as a result my commitments are very important to me. I try to look at it as a time to be a bit of a monk and lay a foundation for a lifetime of practice.

So, the adventure continues.

Gassho,
Dosho

[Kevin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Dosho, I can appreciate your feelings somewhat. While I work from home, and so have contact with the outside world through that outlet, I also manage our two kids, ages 8 and 5, while my wife is at work (she's gone ~ 12 hours a day, when you factor in travel time). It's not so bad when my oldest is in school all day and my youngest has half-day kindergarten, but our school is on a track system (45 days on, 15 days off, year-round), so they're both home all day for the next three weeks. It's only been two days and I've already broken several times my vow not to raise my voice in anger ops: . Even with the work outlet, I, too, feel pretty isolated. I'm a fairly reserved person, too, and I've found that the moms in the neighborhood, while friendly, don't seem to know what to make of me, so it's always a little uncomfortable.

I've upped my sittings to 40 mins per day (in one sitting with a break halfway to switch the top leg in the half-lotus posture) with 5 mins of kinhin to top it off. It's working surprisingly well. Also doing metta chant almost every day. Meal chant has been a problem, but I'm trying to commit it to memory. I can remember to say it, but I never have the paper handy, so I'm just gonna try to memorize it.

Also managing to sit the weekly Zazenkai, though I haven't yet made it through a 4hr one. Tomorrow is another opportunity.

For some reason, whether it's the tension of having two bored kids around all day, or the fact that I hate my job of seven years (and have hated it for about 6.5yrs), or the fact that the dosage of my head meds have been messed with lately, I'm finding myself in a very negative frame of mind, and muscle tension in my neck and shoulders is giving me splitting headaches and mild nausea by the end of the day each day. So, I'm trying to practice with that, but it's not helping me keep my vow of not yelling. I'm trying to extend metta to the "angry me" in the "person you hate" portion of the metta chant. Hopefully, things will improve soon.

Gassho,
Kevin

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

This week has been a lil better for me. I haven't been perfect for sure. But it's been kicked up a few notches. Squeezed an extra bit out. Has some probs sitting the whole 4 hours. Sat a bit over half then just couldn't make myself sit still. I tried and tried for another twenty minutes, couldn't keep myself down in the chair. My zafu will be here this week though. Am excited to get back to floor sitting. Since I kept hurting my leg I had to stop for a bit. This should help with that.

Still no beer.

Working harder at my job since it's otherwise hard to find time to excercise with the other commitments. Had a lil bit of meat, again it was an eat meat or go hungry for 4 more hours while i was already extremely hungry. No veggie option available so I ate what was. And I snuck about two bites of pot roast at work. I just grabbed it and popped it in my mouth without thinking.

Am still squeezing in extra excercise though ( walked to the convenient store today for instance, instead of taking the car).

Friday was the only day I didn't sit at all. Kind of did some insta-zazen while watching a TV program i've waited 8 months for, let it slide because i'm not doing much else other than work and Ango/Jukai related things.

Got last weeks Jukai readings done. Got my rakusu cho and tan cut. Excited about getting started on the sewing part.

Am significantly better about the metta verse and meal chant. If I missed one, I did it the second I remembered and did it twice for my oops.

Can't say i didn't get ill mannered at work at all. Had a run-in with an employee that just refused to cooperate at all with anything even going so far as to saying she didn't care about me having to do it by myself.

Much to my surprise i've spent several moments like the following, minus the physical bowing. Especially when I start my work for the day.

http://davefisher86.blogspot.com/2009/0 ... tenzo.html

But two co-workers lunch and helped another co-worker in a time of need. Yesterday some ass decided to smash her driver's side car window in while we were in the middle of lunch, knocked out the whole window, broke the casing off the passenger side mirror trying to get into the the car from that side and stole her purse which was under some other things. and had already spent $74 from her bank card before the card got cut off ( charge is taken care of I believe). So I gave her $40 bucks out of my vacation pay to help her recover a lil bit from the incident. It's not much , but was the best I could do to help and told her not to even worry about paying me back. I'll make it till next payday( gonna be a lil close, but of course i didn't mention that).

Dave _/_

[Shugen]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Still sitting. No beer in about 3 weeks. The rest has been kind of a train-wreck. I can't seem to get into a consistent pattern. Last year, I was able to sew my rakusu. do the readings and keep up with the forum without much problem so I'm not sure what is going on this year. Tomorrow is a new day.

Ron

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Maybe a lil shifty in the brain from reduced to no beer?

Dave _/_

[Shugen]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Maybe a lil shifty in the brain from reduced to no beer?

Dave _/_

:lol:

[Shugen]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Thanks Dave. I took your advise and had a beer and now I'm perfect :wink: .

I have done a little better this week - getting into a little more of a groove. Still can't seem to remember that d%mn meal chant. Started doing the metta chant again. I'm considering sitting in the morning as well as the evening. The zen-hall has been a help. I've noticed that if I sign up, I have a really hard time not sitting.

How is everyone else doing?

Ron

[Seishin the Elder]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hello Sangha,

I have been incorporating some of the extra practices into my daily monastic routine and as strange as it may seem I actually have to "make room" for them in the schedule. I've already had a regular horairum or typicon that schedules my prayers, so I had to add regular times for zazen along with these. If I can ever figure out what time Jundo is actually "live", I will tryto schedule that time for one of the zazen sessions.

I especially like the Metta practice and use the "prayer list" I have submitted to me for the subjects of these compassionate thoughts.

My monastic tradition is summed up by the phrase "Ora et Labora" - Pray and Work, so Samu is something that is expected, but I hope to be able to add a little to it during the coming holiday season. We will also begin a particular fast in December that coincides with the preparation for the Feast of Christmas, called Advent and I will dedicate that fast this year as part of the Ango also and the preparation for Jukai.

It is interesting that monastic traditions have these particular times set aside in their yearly cycles, and that they also seem to overlap between traditions. It actually gives me a more familiar feeling with Buddhist practice than I would have expected.


Gassho,

Denis

[Dosho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

Over the past week or so I've allowed many of my commitments to languish, so much so that I really haven't been sitting. However, it is the perfect opportunity to build them back up again as if I were doing each for the first time. The meal chant still never comes to mind before a meal, which on the one hand shows that I'm not eating mindfully during that meal, but with so many of us having the same issue I'm really curious as to why.

So, today I sat, did metta, caught up on forum topics, and will read this week's precepts study in-between baby cries and the resulting feeding and/or diaper change. I'm also really wanting to get back on track with the kesa sewing.

Hope others will post their experiences and a big thank you to Ron for his weekly sittings in the Zen hall. I have missed much of them, only sitting the last half hour or so, but I really think I would have totally disconnected if not for them.

Gassho,
Dosho