Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

[monkton]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

I hope all is well with you and your ango. I'm back from my hols now - it was interesting to see how how even pleasant changes in the day to day routine can have a big impact on my practice (i.e. its tendency to totally go out the window without me noticing). It made me wonder how 'mindful' my mindfulness is, when it apparently relies on a routine so much. If I was wandering monk finding myself in a different place, seeing different things everyday, I think my practice would have to become more spontaneous, it would be something that I would carry around within myself to a greater extent than I do now. At home there are all the various props, supports and reminders which now seem to be both helps and hindrances.

I also did a lot of walking and sat outside along the way for the first time. It was quite difficult to 'drop all thoughts of this and that' when - as I usually do when I'm out walking - I get my Dad's voice in my head identifying and discussing all the different strands of bird song that were going on around me. And sitting in the middle of a French marsh there are a lot of bird songs to listen to.

Over dinner one day I ended up explaining that I was 'sort of' taking part in an ango to my partner and several times after that he reminded me to say the meal chant before eating (when I was about to forget), and would also say, "aren't you going to do your 'thing'?" if it looked like I was going to end the day without sitting.

gassho,
Michael

[Jikyo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone,

Ango is still going well for me. I am pleased that the two daily sits seem to have become a habit now, as well as the metta practice and meal chant. I think I am very lucky to be doing this with my husband - we definitely support one another in our practice, and now encourage each other to keep our Ango commitments. If one of us starts to eat without doing the meal chant, chances are the other catches it! If one of us is tired and wants to skip the evening sit, the other heads for the cushion creating just enough peer pressure to do the trick. :roll: I'm afraid the rakusu sewing at times has been a competitive sport, at least for me. ops:

Gassho to all, Jean

[BrianP]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone,
I just take a minute before zazenkai to say I won't be sitting with you guys on ustream,
but sitting in live from my friend's room at the hospital ( ... well I'm at the Hospital coffee shop now, but I'll go in his room in a minute!.

Gassho to every sentient being,

Luis

Hello Luis,
I was about to ask how your friend was after his accident some time ago (must be a couple of weeks now) when my computer crashed. It has been a long time sorting things out. I do hope your friend is recovering.

With metta,

Daiku.

[Shugen]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Back to sitting everyday.

Metta practice still only occasional, but I don't feel so goofy when I do actually do it.

Can't seem to get all the way through the meal chant but I have been trying to at least take a moment to think about what it is that I am eating and to be thankful about it.

I still use my seiza bench most of the time, but have been sitting in a half lotus every once in awhile when my legs are cooperating.

I've been keeping up with the sit-alongs. (zazenkais not so much)

I'm going to try sitting without relying on the zenhall so much as a motivator. I'll still do the 2 hour sits in there, but not for my daily sits as much. I think it's good for me to "mix it up" a little bit.

Ron

[Dosho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

I haven't posted in awhile and have been struggling to keep up with the forum and my Ango commitments. And to be completely honest, my sitting lately has been almost nonexistant. Some of that was due to back pain from working on the lawn and getting everything done before the snow comes. But a lot of it was finding the daily commitments to be a chore rather than something I really wanted to do. I fell right into the trap I have told others to avoid which is basically if I feel that the zazen is "helping" me in some way, instead of just sitting and letting that thought go, I cling to it and try to analyze what it means. What came up was actually important "getting to the core" stuff, but it wasn't shikantaza.

So, perhaps in the spirit of zazen, I let these thoughts play out inside my brain and just hung on for the ride for awhile. I didn't resist the thoughts or try to make them go away, but let them percolate for a time and saw where they led. It took awhile but it fizzled on its own and all of a sudden over the weekend I wanted to sit again. I have done so a couple times now and despite some continued back pain I have stuck with it (if you can call doing something 2 or 3 days in a row sticking to it). I have worked through messages on the forum, started catching up with sit a longs, and even got our the meal verse to try again! I started doing metta again and I'm not thinking much about where this is going.

So, we'll see. It's definitely a change for me as I would have previously forced myself to the cushion and given myself a hard time for not having stuck to my commitments. Finding the time to sit is now my greatest challenge.

Gassho,
Dosho

P.S. My kesa is coming along. It's slow, but it's taking shape.

[Rich]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Sometimes there seems to be so much to do that it is overwhelming. Recently I've experienced some minor injuries and the cold/flu. Fortunately, this has not impacted my morning and evening sitting. The next 30 days I'm going to do daily physical training to rebuild my strength and stamina and add some sitting periods. The precepts study has been very interesting.
/Rich

[Jundo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

And to be completely honest, my sitting lately has been almost nonexistant. Some of that was due to back pain from working on the lawn and getting everything done before the snow comes. But a lot of it was finding the daily commitments to be a chore rather than something I really wanted to do.

Hi Dosho,

This is very important. So much of this practice is learning to be with situations "I" finds unpleasant, learning to do things that "I" resists to do.

I wrote the following to a couple of folks this week who are sick and stuck in bed ...

Being sick is no fun. It interferes with all our plans and dreams, keep you from our doing what wyou want to do. It hurts, and it is scary. Shakyamuni Buddha first set out on his quest because he saw people getting old and sick and (eventually we all do) dying.

Our practice in Shikanataza is to sit with "what is" ... which sometimes includes lots of being in bed moaning. I did a couple of talks on that when I was sick (not as long as you, just a week or so).

http://blog.beliefnet.com/treeleafzen/2 ... ckbed.html

and

http://blog.beliefnet.com/treeleafzen/2 ... uddha.html

In Buddhist terms, wishing life to be X when life is Y is Dukkha, "suffering" (the pain of illness is not "Buddhist suffering" ... Instead, "suffering" is wishing to be healthy when you are sick, desiring to have no pain when you have pain. ) Our practice is partly about "being at one with X when life is X, allowing Y when life is Y". Dropping resisting, accepting, allowing.

That does not mean, by the way, that being sick may not still be scary and unpleasant ... but at the same time, there is attained a peace, even joy, with the scariness and unpleasantness. Something like that.

This week, I spoke of my friend who became friends with his cancer, and at peace with the condition ... even as he was its enemy and sometimes afraid. Both at once. He accepted the condition, allowed the condition ... yet took his chemotherapy. I spoke of people who even could find peace and hope as prisoners in German camps.

http://blog.beliefnet.com/treeleafzen/2 ... isons.html

Oh ... and before I forget ... we also taste a view by which we "Forget 'I'", and there is ultimately no "I" to be sick! 8)

But, just trust me on that right now, and anyway, it is connected to everything else mentioned above.

I hope you get well soon.

Anyway, the above applies both to hard illness and a little backache, cancer or a cold.

Gassho, Jundo

[Rich]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Sometimes there seems to be so much to do that it is overwhelming.
/Rich

It's like being in a hurricane of your own making. But even a hurricane has a calm quiet eye that you can rest in but you have to keep moving with it. Now I'm commenting on my comments. Hope that's not too weird.

[monkton]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

Just logging in to say I'm still sitting, chanting, metta-ing, reading your posts and keeping those that are going through difficult times in my thoughts.
This week I received my first zafu and zabuton - seeing as I'm doing this everyday now I thought I'd better make some investment in the right kit, and the mixture of phone directories and duvet covers that I've been sitting on up to now was getting to be (literally) a pain in the butt. Also I needed to phone a plumber this week and it took me an hour to realize that I'd been sitting on the Golden Pages every day for the last few months.

So the new combination has been out for 3 test drives so far and all seems well. I am at one with the fact that I am never going to sit in any form of lotus unless it is a low-slung sporty looking car (arthritic hips and knees don't need much encouragement to flare up these days), but I feel quite secure in my Burmese position.

I'm still slightly in awe of the metta practice because it still feels like a radical thing to do every time I do it.

I came across an encouraging passage in the Shobogenzo this week (I'm probably not supposed to quote this out of context but if you want the full passage it's in 'On "Respectful Bowing Will Secure the Very Marrow of the Way"':

You should do your training and practice, even though you may still be attached to discriminatory thinking; you should do your training and practice, even if you have gone beyond discriminatory thinking; you should do your training and practice, even though you may be half hearted in the attempt.

Gassho to all,
Michael

[Shugen]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Thank you for the Shobogenzo quote Michael.

Ron

[Jinyu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone!

These times have been quite difficult, I've been working a lot, and this last weeks I have been sick (and still am).
My injured friend needed a lot of time, but now is REALLY better.
He can move and even walk :P . But he still can't move one of his arms. We hope he'll be better in a few month!
For these reasons, I haven't been regular with my zazen and metta practice for the last two weeks. I think I'll add two more weeks to the ango because of that. I'll try to begin the coming week with a better mind...

I would like to thank you guys for your practice, thank you Jundo and Taigu for this wonderfull place we can call our sangha! :wink:

Gassho to all of you,

Luis

[Jundo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone!

These times have been quite difficult, I've been working a lot, and this last weeks I have been sick (and still am).
My injured friend needed a lot of time, but now is REALLY better.
He can move and even walk :P . But he still can't move one of his arms. We hope he'll be better in a few month!
For these reasons, I haven't been regular with my zazen and metta practice for the last two weeks. I think I'll add two more weeks to the ango because of that. I'll try to begin the coming week with a better mind...

I would like to thank you guys for your practice, thank you Jundo and Taigu for this wonderfull place we can call our sangha! :wink:

Gassho to all of you,

Luis

Hi Luis,

It sounds like you are having a profound Ango ... even though you might not think of all of it as the Ango.

I am so glad your friend is learning to walk again, and may he come to appreciate each step more. Maybe loss of an arm will even leave him stronger, if there is wisdom in seeing that.

But please do get back to sitting. ALL of it is sitting, but only sitting is sitting.

Gassho, J

[monkton]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

great to be back and to hear some good news about Luis' friend; I hope Chugai is getting over the flu well by now too...
Sitting took a bit of a knock last week for the first time as my partner went into a meltdown for several reasons, not all of which I fully understand, but from my point of view I had to stay very close for a while and didn't get a lot of sleep. Everything seems much better now.
Writing this, I was trying to work out if I could say that the practice helped in anyway. During the lulls I was certainly conscious of things that I've heard Jundo or Taigu say or have read in everyones postings here, but did anything actually help? Not in a way that I would be aware of, but I don't think this is all about ka-ching! instant tranquility and salving of bruised minds. Maybe, when 'normality' returned it was easier to recognize, and maybe it was easier to accept the abnormal as normal while it was all going on. That's probably as far as I can go. Anyway, I'm still really tired but I'm off to sit now.

gassho,
Michael

[KellyRok]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hello all,

It sound like we've all had some struggles in the last couple weeks. I've been absent for a little while. Both my kids and my husband have been sick with sinus, ear, and respiratory infections...and now I have all of the above. Go figure! :roll:

I'm doing well with the meal chant, and still haven't had any peanut butter. Sitting has been difficult for me too these past 2-3 weeks. I've averaged only 2 or 3 sittings a week. I'm hoping to get back to it today. I have been doing plenty of samu and continue to volunteer, but sitting has been my biggest struggle too Dosho. I will do better the rest of this week and get back on my schedule hopefully. Breathing is a difficulty, but I will manage. :wink:

Gassho to all,
Kelly (Jinmei)

[Dojin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

well i have missed sitting a few times i think i missed 3 days and 2 times i was too tired to sit so i gave up in the middle of the sitting because i was falling asleep during the sit and had to wake up very early in the morning (5:30am) and it was already very late ( early 2am ). so i just got up from the zafu and went to sleep.

and smoked a few times mostly a cigarette here and there with friends ( mostly when i was at a party ).

anyway i am kinda glad slipped a few times. it made me realize that its ok but it is important to go on and get up and continue.
it is going perfectly imperfect...

Gassho, Dojin.