Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

[Bansho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi Dosho,

The meal chant still never comes to mind before a meal, which on the one hand shows that I'm not eating mindfully during that meal, but with so many of us having the same issue I'm really curious as to why.

I think it takes some time for the meal gatha to move from the head to the heart. In other words, when we first take up the practice, we have to rely on our intellect - which is notoriously unreliable. With some determination and sincere effort it gradually becomes flesh and blood. That's been my experience.

Gassho
Bansho

[monkton]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

just a quick update. All going OK - I'm still sitting daily (or, more usually, nightly), for 20 mins followed by the metta practice. The metta practice really seems to make a lot of sense. For the last week or so I've been remembering someone who really did a lot of damage in my life about 10 years ago, and who I had done a very good job of wiping from my day-to-day brain altogether. It's taken this many weeks of ango practice for them to appear as someone I can practice with. Going against my natural instinct and not only thinking about them again, but actually wishing them well causes all sorts of gears to crash inside but I can feel that it's of benefit to 'me-them-the world' when those pointless teeth get sheared off.

I know other folks may have bigger and more immediate ogres in their lives - I have tried to imagine what it would be like if someone said to me 10 years ago, "include them in your nightly metta practice". Difficult. I'm not sure if I could, but with the luxury of distance from the events, it feels like the right thing to do. I'd be interested to hear if any of you folks have been able to/not been able to include someone in your metta practice who has really hurt you recently.

If the metta practice sets up a sort of feedback loop starting from inside me, moving out 'there', and then bouncing back and forth and blurring between the two; the meal chant is beginning to do something similar, but starting from 'there' (the food in front of me and all the processes that brought it there) and moving into me (physically - yum!) but also as the 'medicine that nourishes my practice'. So they are beginning to feel quite symmetrical and complementary practices.

Gassho,
Michael

[Kevin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

After sitting daily for a couple of months, things at work and in general got a little hectic, and, as usual, my sitting routine suffered. I've sat perhaps three times in the last two weeks . No metta, no meal chants, either :cry: .

Things have settled down again, however, and I will get back on track starting today.

One of these days I'll figure out how to integrate my sitting into my daily life even when things get crazy. I do the Insta-Zens, but when my job gets frantic, it can be tough to muster the energy and stillness (yes, it seems easier to be frantic than to be still) to practice. Another koan...

Gassho,
Kevin

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

I'm taking a short Ango break. tonight i'll be telling my wife I want a divorce I'm tired of her crap. After I nap and calm down for work my plans include whiskey and cola while moving her belongings ( nicely mind you) into the back bedroom she's been sleeping in for the past 2 1/2 months( when the idea of divorce was first mentioned. I'm absolutely stressed the f*** out and fuming right now and don't see myself settling down for a few days. I don't plan on stopping Ango ( or Jukai for that matter) but will have some lax days ( hopefully no more than this week, and i'm not plannin on dropping all vows and practices..more just adjusting to my current GRRRRRR state of mind until I settle down a bit). So that is this week's Ango update.

My mantra of inspiration today is " I will not urinate on her stuff. I will NOT urinate on her stuff". Me? Cranky? Neverrrrr.

Dave _/_

[Jundo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi Dave,

THE Koan. Life Koan, Divorce Koan. Ya know, "life" is the only real place of practice ... the rest is time in the flight simulator.

I would say ... even amid the crap ... do your best to know when you are lost in thoughts and emotions, even when doing what you need to do. Try not to rush things, try not to do things that do more harm than good. Take your time. One should not rush into marriage ... nor rush out of marriage.

The rest ... well, we are all here for you.

Gassho, J

[Shugen]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hang in there Dave! Like Jundo said, we are all here for you.

Ron

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

I appreciate it. but it's been a long time coming. I definitely have some mixed emotions. But once things settle down I should be good to go.

Dave _/_

[Dosho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Not an easy thing to be sure...as Jundo and Ron said, we'll leave a light on for you.

[Dojin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hey everyone.

i just want to report that a few days ago i broke down a bit.
i went to a friend's house with my girlfriend, i planned to sit zazen after i get back. but a few more people came by and brought a bottle of scotch.
we ended up sitting up until 5 in the morning drinking and laughing... when i got home i didnt sit because i was too tired.
i have also smoked a bit although i decided not to do it at all during the ango.

i must admit it bothered me that i did not sit since i have sat everyday so far... but when i gave it some though i am glad it didnt get a chance to sit for the following reason...
1. it is a reminder of why i sit and how important it is to me.
2. life is not always how we plan it to be and we must sometimes make changes in our plans according to the situation.

in the end i guess it is alright since i am only human and we all slip from time to time... got back to sitting the next day and never looked back.

Gassho, Dojin.

[Jinyu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone!

Just a few words to say where I'm with the Ango...
First of all, Courage Dave! :wink:

About my practice this week... Well it has been a sour and sweet week. My zazen practice was ponctual and regular, so no problem for this. I followed the rakusu sewing and didn't "forgot", not even one day, so... no problem with the sewing.
But it has been really difficult to take care in general. I mean it was difficult to chant or even take the time before eating. I also feel it is more difficult for me these days to be calm and aware of people or things around me... a bit sad Thus even Metta practice was quite difficult this week ... must be my asocial week...

On the other hand, I'm sick about not having internet at home!
First, I paid months ago. Second, I NEED it to work! Third, because I'm still waiting for it, I can't be as active as a want to be. I'm always late for the Precepts Study, I only sit recorded versions of the zazenkai, And I just feel I can't participate fully in the forum's life... And I feel sad about it too, because being "active" in the sangha is something important for me... Well, they promised I'll have my connection "ready to surf" Friday...

Untill there, I hope you folks are OK!

Gassho to everyone!

Luis

[Shohei]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

It all will work out for the best Dave! How ever things land. Sorry not much else to add but you know I/we're here for you.

Gassho

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Thanks, everyone you guys rock. The day after was not so cool, but we got along really well that night. so yesterday was mucchhh better.

[scott]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

My dog is joining me often for morning sits (she thinks they're morning naps). So far so good!

Every evening at 5:30 my wife and I sit, and the smallest of our cats curls up in the V that my legs make. She looks forward to it, and stares at us impatiently if we're late. I look forward to seeing your dog.

[berrykat]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

it has not gone as well as I would like ....weekends are hard as the kids aren't in school so sometimes I let things slide ops: . I am going to try and get up earlier on the weekend so I can do Zazen before the kids get up. The meal gatha has been easier to remember to do I had some trouble in the beginning. I am grateful for the Ango period as I think it will help me to develop better habits when it come to Zazen etc. Will it be a yearly thing or maybe twice a year? -Andrea

[Jundo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

I am grateful for the Ango period as I think it will help me to develop better habits when it come to Zazen etc. Will it be a yearly thing or maybe twice a year? -Andrea

Hi Andrea,

I think, for now, it will be once a year .. with just "Practice" the rest of the days.

You know, I recently described Zazen as just your "self" sitting with its "self" ... me, myself and I (and not-I, in the Buddhist case). Your self wresting with its "selfish" self. We learn (and un-learn, in the Buddhist case) all kind of things ... hopefully un-learning the harmful (greed, anger, ignorance).

Well, "Ango" is also such a wrestling match. We learn as much from the successes as the failures. We benefit as much from the "easy" parts as tripping up on the "hard".

I sometimes describe our Zen practice as much like an airplane pilot stepping into a flight simulator, practicing for all kinds of circumstances ... both smooth air, clear skies ... and storms and disasters. Then, stepping out of the simulator (rising from the Zafu) we bring that training and experience to life.

You know, the pilot who landed his plane in the Hudson River? He may not know it, but he is a Great Zen Master.

Gassho, J