Spiritual Friendship

[Heishu]

All be it a song that spoke to my heart in the early days of my youth, the words still speak the same truth today.

I did not post this to preach to anyone. I posted it to speak to myself.

Listen if you wish.

Gassho
Alan

[galen]

Thank you Alan... beautiful.

The Beatles spoke to many of us back when, and still do to day and forever.


Gassho

[Mp]

All be it a song that spoke to my heart in the early days of my youth, the words still speak the same truth today.

I did not post this to preach to anyone. I posted it to speak to myself.

Listen if you wish.

Gassho
Alan

Thank you Alan.

Gassho
Michael

[Heishu]

Galen and Michael

[Jundo]

Time to remind everyone that Sangha is often compared to the polishing of rocks in a rock tumbler, each stone with its sharp edges and rough points rubbing and bouncing against each other. "The friction of the rocks grinding and bouncing against each other is the very thing which turns them into beautiful, smooth stones. Each is rough in the beginning, each has value, and each comes to flow smoothly with the others". I think we just saw an example.

So, we learn and are changed in Sangha when we roll smoothly together, and we learn and are changed when we momentarily rub each other in ways that cause sparks.

If we can be tolerant of each others' faults, cracks and sharp elbows here, why not any place in life? **

Gassho, J

** Of course, the above is not license to be intentionally disruptive or to use angry, harsh speech with each other. There is a line somewhere.

[Mp]

Time to remind everyone that Sangha is often compared to the polishing of rocks in a rock tumbler, each stone with its sharp edges and rough points rubbing and bouncing against each other. "The friction of the rocks grinding and bouncing against each other is the very thing which turns them into beautiful, smooth stones. Each is rough in the beginning, each has value, and each comes to flow smoothly with the others".

What a beautiful example Jundo, thank you.

Gassho
Michael

[Shonin]

Well, being off topic. With no opinion on the subject. I had seen on FB that chet was no longer with us here. So being me, I proactively sent him a message (with non-specifics), and let him know that folks here do miss him and mention it's a shame because they benefit from his pressence.
So ,at least he knows the extremely short version .

_/\_ Dave

[Jinyo]

Hi, reading back through this thread I feel it is really only about one thing.

Chet was an important member of this community and he has decided to leave. We are all sad about this.

I don't believe Chet left because he felt attacked - because he has often expressed the thought that Tree Leaf is 'damaging' for him. This thought has caused him to leave on several occassions. Chet is a deep thinker and I doubt the thought behind his decision could ever be based solely on feeling attacked.

It is perhaps easier on our own perceptions to go with the narrative that Chet was driven away rather than Chet decided he is better off without this community. I would stress the latter is a neutral statement. Chet - I feel - discussed most eloquently the view that we may be holding to a certain comforting narrative in assuming that Sangha is best.

I am not dismissing the point that Chet may have felt attacked - he has also shared with us the extremes of reaction he has to cope with as a result of borderline personality. I also feel concern that this may also have contributed to his decision.

But Chet has to live with the trials of this condition and he knows what is best for his sense of well being.

On a personal note - I wish members would bid farewell when they leave - even if resolved, happy, sad, or angry - I feel it's the respectful thing to do having been part of a community that goes beyond being a mere message board.

Gassho

Willow

[Shokai]

Chet has his own demons to wrestle with (one of them may just be that he refers to himself as disatermouse). We can only hope that he will somehow be able to let them go. Meanwhile, in retrospect, it is wonderful to know that we all have tried as best we can to help him with that.

Thank you to this my Sangha, gassho, Shokai

[RichardH]

Willow pointed out the elephant in the room. All this hand-ringing only gratifies that elephant, as it closely follows this thread. How to help? Don't feed it. Move on

..just an opinion.


Gassho, kojip.

[galen]

Hi, reading back through this thread I feel it is really only about one thing.

Chet was an important member of this community and he has decided to leave. We are all sad about this.

I don't believe Chet left because he felt attacked - because he has often expressed the thought that Tree Leaf is 'damaging' for him. This thought has caused him to leave on several occassions. Chet is a deep thinker and I doubt the thought behind his decision could ever be based solely on feeling attacked.

It is perhaps easier on our own perceptions to go with the narrative that Chet was driven away rather than Chet decided he is better off without this community. I would stress the latter is a neutral statement. Chet - I feel - discussed most eloquently the view that we may be holding to a certain comforting narrative in assuming that Sangha is best.

I am not dismissing the point that Chet may have felt attacked - he has also shared with us the extremes of reaction he has to cope with as a result of borderline personality. I also feel concern that this may also have contributed to his decision.

But Chet has to live with the trials of this condition and he knows what is best for his sense of well being.

On a personal note - I wish members would bid farewell when they leave - even if resolved, happy, sad, or angry - I feel it's the respectful thing to do having been part of a community that goes beyond being a mere message board.

Gassho

Willow

Very good, thank you Willow!

And of course Jundo .


Gassho

[Jundo]

Taking Refuge in Sangha, in Community, has been fundamental to Buddhist Practice since the start, from the Buddha's time. Of course, some may decide to seek their Sangha elsewhere, and that is fine. Not every community is right for everyone. Others may decide that they wish to Practice on their own, emulating the Buddha himself who found his own tree to sit under. That is fine too.

I feel that we have a warm, deep, diverse, wise, helpful, balanced, compassionate and caring Community in this place ... but it might not be right for all.

If someone feels that this particular Community, and the Practices, Teachings, Teachers and Dharma-friends found here, are not right for them, they should consider to go. They should not stay. It has also been that way for century upon century, as people wandered here and their seeking the place which resonated in their hearts.

In this Community, the door is always open and we make our presence known to anyone for whom it may be helpful. But we do not proselytize, neither chasing people into the doorway, nor chasing after them if they elect to leave. No fire and brimstone is threatened.

Of course, for those who stay here, we do expect and insist them to Practice as we Practice here, and to put into Practice the ways of Practice taught here. They should not stay if they do not plan to do so, any more than one should stay in a hospital if one does not plan on following the doctors' advice there. The person should return home, or seek their cure elsewhere.

Gassho, Jundo

[Omoi Otoshi]

_/\_

Pontus

[Heishu]

bestbud.jpg

The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Life certainly has all three.
It is nice sometimes to have a balance.
Nothing perfect and certainly nothing imperfect.
Perhaps just a middle way.
I am not the same as you and you are not the same as me.
Friendship, perhaps, as it was meant to be.

Gassho,
Alan

[Shonin]

Willow, I agree with you more or less. I thnk we all have to determine when we need time to ourselves. Sometimes it's simply not best to stay for the individual or the community,regardless of what that community is.

For me personally, I never "intentionally" left the sangha and definitely had no problem with it, or anyone in it. But during our first Ango and following Jukai I simply have had a rough time in life. I ended up withdrawing without realizing I was withdrawaing then the years start to go by. But I'm glad I am back, at least for this moment. Nice to see new faces too. Funny thing, it was usually Chet who would say " So are you sitting still? Have you blown off Treeleaf totally?"

I can understand why folsk would want people to say goodbye for whatever reason they are leaving. But sometimes life is just not like that.We should learn to accept that as ell. Sometimes even good friends drift apart until there is no more contact, with no reason or rhyme. Sometimes they just pop back in one another's life with no thought of "Hello"'s.

But that's just my view, for whatever it's worth.

_/\_ Dave