Zen Practice with Physical Illness or Disability

[Heitou]

Thank You so much, I really appreciate all that have posted it helps me so much also I feel at home here and I am very comfortable here as well, once again thank you all.

Gassho
John
Sat Today

[Meian]

I am having trouble with this.

The lockdown, I just saw one of my doctors by video chat yesterday (went okay), I'm still working but minimal hours by choice ..... I am exhausted. I explained this the doctor yesterday (she's the main specialist, tends to go by "labs only"), but I took Kokuu's advice and was better prepared this time [emoji4] except for cognitive dysfunction.

My last class of my graduate program.... group work (don't like it), I seem to be the only one with a multi-generational family and chronic illness. Not that I discuss it, but I feel like I am dealing with corporate America in classmates and I've given up on that. The stress of meeting their expectations was too much, so I contacted my professor and just explained briefly what my situation is. He's a good guy, had him before. He's cool with it. I'm getting stonewalled now by my teammates, but I'm beyond caring ..... too tired and not feeling well. Think they see me as "the weakest link" -- well, I am. Oh well. But I will never place myself in an office, never get in their actual way, and life is as it is.

Compassion is a choice. "When we know better, we do better." (Paraphrase of Maya Angelou)

So I've chosen to step back from the situation for now, and rest. Going to take a day off from work also, i need to sleep.

This may sound depressing. I'm not. It's deep fatigue and I am unwell. I shikantaza without realizing it.

Is this Zen ..... for me Zen is often an approach to dilemmas and challenges, and often the result of shikantaza. Literally the practice of my life and the combat sport that is living with illness. I'm probably not communicating my meaning well .... sorry. Covered that yesterday also.

Gassho, Meian st

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[Onka]

I am having trouble with this.

The lockdown, I just saw one of my doctors by video chat yesterday (went okay), I'm still working but minimal hours by choice ..... I am exhausted. I explained this the doctor yesterday (she's the main specialist, tends to go by "labs only"), but I took Kokuu's advice and was better prepared this time [emoji4] except for cognitive dysfunction.

My last class of my graduate program.... group work (don't like it), I seem to be the only one with a multi-generational family and chronic illness. Not that I discuss it, but I feel like I am dealing with corporate America in classmates and I've given up on that. The stress of meeting their expectations was too much, so I contacted my professor and just explained briefly what my situation is. He's a good guy, had him before. He's cool with it. I'm getting stonewalled now by my teammates, but I'm beyond caring ..... too tired and not feeling well. Think they see me as "the weakest link" -- well, I am. Oh well. But I will never place myself in an office, never get in their actual way, and life is as it is.

Compassion is a choice. "When we know better, we do better." (Paraphrase of Maya Angelou)

So I've chosen to step back from the situation for now, and rest. Going to take a day off from work also, i need to sleep.

This may sound depressing. I'm not. It's deep fatigue and I am unwell. I shikantaza without realizing it.

Is this Zen ..... for me Zen is often an approach to dilemmas and challenges, and often the result of shikantaza. Literally the practice of my life and the combat sport that is living with illness. I'm probably not communicating my meaning well .... sorry. Covered that yesterday also.

Gassho, Meian st

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Most things you write resonate strongly with the lived experience of my partner and myself but you know that already.
I hope that you also know that I'm here for you in any way I'm able to be and even in virtual solidarity you're not ever alone.
Gassho
Anna
ST

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[Kokuu]

Hi Meian

For me, part of Zen is about being where you are rather than where you want to be. If you are exhausted, you need to take care of that, whether or not it conflicts with assignments or work.

Although it is great to be able to fulfill all of our duties and responsibilities, with ongoing illness that is often impossible so we have to pick and prioritise what is most important and deal with the rest.

You have spoken to your professor and are working minimal hours so it sounds like you are meeting it head on and doing what you need to do as far as I am concerned.

If you have the time and inclination, would it feel good to just let your classmates know why you are dipping out?

Much metta. You have done so well juggling all of this.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoday/lah-

[Meian]

Gassho2

Meian st lh

[Meian]

I’m grateful that this community exists and that you are so understanding in treating those of us who are disabled as part of the sangha and so kind in sharing resources that help us still continue to practice. I was part of tree leaf years ago and cancer and associated ailments pretty much kept me from practicing and doing Jukai after sewing a kesa and rakusu I missed out and I finally got an ok from doctors and felt strong enough to get back into being a part of this awesome community (sangha) and a few days after Jundo emailed me saying my registration was back up and gave me some advice on Jukai I was re-hospitalized (my cancer moved to me liver and spleen). The long and short of it is I think I missed out on Jukai again but I’m out of hospital and look forward to practicing and discussing practice in all its myriad types of forms. I was wondering if it is ok to practice while on pain medicine? The I’m on a fentanyl patch and oxycodone. Without these medications I am unable to do anything because the pain. In using the medication I really don’t experience any cognitive change because I have taken these for or similar medications for awhile now and my pain levels are my still really high so the medications don’t make me groggy. I’m sure it’s ok but figured I would ask.

Welcome back, and please sit / recline with us any time.

Much metta to you.

Deep Bows, meian st lh

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[Shonin]

I asked the same question awhile ago but my situation is a little different. The meds I take are to balance my brain chemicals to make me function normally.I can't speak for the powers that be here but they gave me the green light. I have been on xanax a few years and no longer have any form of intoxication but it does make me groggy sometimes. I try not to sit when i take it but sometimes it's the only way i can settle my mind from extreme anxiety. I think the problem is more about if it intoxicates you or not. If you arent intoxicated I dont think they would see a problem. But will wait to see what they have to say as it would apply to my anxiety med as well( have also had other med changes so my brain is a lil wonky beyond the norm).
Dave
SAT/LAH Much metta to you.

[Onka]

I’m grateful that this community exists and that you are so understanding in treating those of us who are disabled as part of the sangha and so kind in sharing resources that help us still continue to practice. I was part of tree leaf years ago and cancer and associated ailments pretty much kept me from practicing and doing Jukai after sewing a kesa and rakusu I missed out and I finally got an ok from doctors and felt strong enough to get back into being a part of this awesome community (sangha) and a few days after Jundo emailed me saying my registration was back up and gave me some advice on Jukai I was re-hospitalized (my cancer moved to me liver and spleen). The long and short of it is I think I missed out on Jukai again but I’m out of hospital and look forward to practicing and discussing practice in all its myriad types of forms. I was wondering if it is ok to practice while on pain medicine? The I’m on a fentanyl patch and oxycodone. Without these medications I am unable to do anything because the pain. In using the medication I really don’t experience any cognitive change because I have taken these for or similar medications for awhile now and my pain levels are my still really high so the medications don’t make me groggy. I’m sure it’s ok but figured I would ask.

Hey there.
As one of many here with physical, emotional, or psychological challenges I can say that if your medical.professional prescribes it, take it. If your pain meds mean you may doze off while sitting Zazen then doze off. Personally speaking I couldn't function at any reasonable level let alone sit Zazen without a cocktail of prescribed drugs and by sitting I mean reclining in a chair or laying down.
Re: practicing with a disability Kokuu, one of our Priests here has just started a discussion group on Toni Bernhardt's book : How to be Sick - a Buddhist inspired guide for the chronically ill and their caregivers.
If you.are interested in joining us perhaps shoot Kokuu a message.

Gassho
Onka
Sat today

[Jundo]

Thank you I will check out the group when I get a chance. I’m still in that adjustment period of time getting used to not having my schedule fully planned out for me by the hospital. Also want to thank everyone who responded to my post as well. A Gassho filled with the great sentiment it is good to be back and welcomed

Welcome home.

I was wondering if it is ok to practice while on pain medicine? The I’m on a fentanyl patch and oxycodone. Without these medications I am unable to do anything because the pain. In using the medication I really don’t experience any cognitive change because I have taken these for or similar medications for awhile now and my pain levels are my still really high so the medications don’t make me groggy. I’m sure it’s ok but figured I would ask.

We sit as what is. If that "what is" is the need to take these medications for medical reasons, then one sits (or reclines, or walks Kinhin, or does as the body needs) with these medications. No problem.

Gassho, J

STlah

[Meishin]

Hi!

Returning after a medical retreat during which the doctors tried their magic on this 78 year old body. Practiced zazen while in bed. Not ideal but it's possible. feeling some better.

Gassho, Meishin
ST

[Jundo]

Hi!

Returning after a medical retreat during which the doctors tried their magic on this 78 year old body. Practiced zazen while in bed. Not ideal but it's possible. feeling some better.

Gassho, Meishin
ST

Glad they strung you together with duct tape and spit, Meishin. Here's to medical magic.

Our Zazenkai today is dedicated so that all folks will "feel some better."

Gassho, Jundo

Stlah

[Tai Shi]

Zen Practice with Physical Illness or Disability

Meishin, I’m therefore for you. I’m 69, 70 in 2 months, been in hospital a few times ER visits. Last June I went in for 5 days and went off a large amount of a hearty addictive drug. Actually these days, Drs and nurses good folks. There for you just ask for me the resident ordinary guy.
Gassho
sat/ lah
Tai Shi


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[Meishin]

Thanks, Jundo and Tai Shi. Duct tape and spit is a good treatment. As Jundo said in his talk, nowhere to go. The sick bed is just another sit.

Gassho, Meishin
STLah

[Tai Shi]

Zen Practice with Physical Illness or Disability

Good news
Ultrasound of my heart:
Normal range 50 to 70
Mine is 55 to 60
Heart muscle normal: some minor change stenosis and regurgitation.
Gassho
sat/ lah
Tai Shi


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[Angel]

There are many Zen teachings that are designed to short-circuit a neurotypical mind but do not have the same effect on the neurodiverse. I would be grateful if anyone could direct me to Buddhist resources written in my first language. I am autistic - level two.

Angel - sat