What I like to practice more than mindfulness

[Stephanie]

Besides zazen, my favorite Buddhist practice is a more traditional one: the practice of the brahma-viharas.

The four brahma-viharas ("Abodes of the Gods") are:

-Equanimity (composure, patience, evenness of mind)
-Sympathetic joy (vibing off of other people's happiness)
-Loving-kindness (gentleness, openness of heart to all sentient beings)
-Compassion (being aware of and moved by the suffering of sentient beings)

The Pali terms for these are upekkha (equanimity), mudita (sympathetic joy), metta (loving kindness), and karuna (compassion).

I don't have a particular concrete practice for cultivating the brahma-viharas; rather, I notice that they are signposts of effective practice in general. Zazen promotes these qualities, as do many other traditional Buddhist practices. However, a basic form of practicing with them is, noting their arising, I try to see what led their arising; noting the arising of their opposite qualities (vindictiveness, selfishness, jealousy, irritation, etc.), I try to see what led to the arising of these opposite qualities.

I like putting myself in situations that tend to draw out qualities that oppose the brahma-viharas and working to transform my state of mind in these situations to one in which the brahma-viharas naturally arise instead. I find that the first step is usually promoting tolerance or patience (which I would identify with upekkha). If something bugs me, I try to watch my mind as it gets "bugged" and identify the mental events that lead to this state of mind. Over time, I can often identify what's going on and change how I react in these situations.

I also find that these qualities naturally arise in moments of surrender, often after some painful experience. Letting go of the self, letting myself surrender to disappointment, instead of fighting or trying to hold on, I find that one or more of the brahma-viharas often accompany the experience of sadness and defeat. When you're not trying to defend the self, sadness is a tenderness of heart that promotes kindness. I find that cultivating these qualities of mind has much more of a profound impact on how I interact with others on a day-to-day basis than cultivating non-distractedness of mind. But of course all of this rests on the foundation of a good zazen practice, without which the ability and reflex to watch what's going on in the mind without identifying with it becomes much more difficult, if not impossible.

[Stephanie]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

I should also note that the experience of any of these qualities, much less more than one of them in combination, is often profoundly blissful. You don't have to be a spaced-out dumb-dumb or be high on something or even just have had something good happen to you to walk around feeling blissful. You know why this is possible? Because you create your experience with your mind! Anyway... I found the place where I most naturally experienced many of these the past year was riding on the subway and watching other people around me. Kids laughing, homeless people begging for money, total strangers going out of their way to help each other, whatever.

[will]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

I should also note that the experience of any of these qualities, much less more than one of them in combination, is often profoundly blissful.

Yet we still do the laundry, cook supper, and clip our toenails.

G,W

[Stephanie]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

I should also note that the experience of any of these qualities, much less more than one of them in combination, is often profoundly blissful.

Yet we still do the laundry, cook supper, and clip our toenails.

G,W

The nice thing about the bliss of the brahma-viharas is that you can do the laundry, cook supper, and clip your toenails with equanimity, kindness, compassion, and sympathetic joy. Your compassion for your toes makes you cut their nails with gentleness and kindness; your equanimity keeps you from having a temper tantrum when you burn something you'd been cooking; your capacity for sympathetic joy fills you with happiness when the laundry you just folded for someone else makes them smile.

:wink:

gassho,

Steph

[will]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

Good. But let's not forget about the effortless joy that naturally arises through the intimacy of Shikantaza.

Gassho Will

[Chris H]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

Good. But let's not forget about the effortless joy that naturally arises through the intimacy of Shikantaza.

We'll never forget as long as we have you Will.

[will]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

:lol:

G,W

[Stephanie]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

Does shikantaza get jealous when you practice the brahma-viharas? :wink:

[will]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

I don't know I'll ask him.

G,W

[Ryumon]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

I've always understood that any bliss that arises is a bonus, and not something to be strived for...

Kirk

[TracyF]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

I don't have a particular concrete practice for cultivating the brahma-viharas; rather, I notice that they are signposts of effective practice in general. Zazen promotes these qualities, as do many other traditional Buddhist practices. However, a basic form of practicing with them is, noting their arising, I try to see what led their arising; noting the arising of their opposite qualities (vindictiveness, selfishness, jealousy, irritation, etc.), I try to see what led to the arising of these opposite qualities.

Deep Gassho, Steph. Wonderful post.

I'm amazed at how little I noticed the arising of the opposites to the brahma-viharas in the past. I've only been practicing a short time and, for a while there, I thought I was getting worse. :lol: But I've just realized a few months ago that I'm not getting worse, I'm simply more aware. Now that I'm more aware, I seem to be able to respond to situations with a tad bit more equanimity.

I'll give you an example:
I was giving a seminar three days ago and this MD who runs one the seminar series was 20 min late (she ALWAYS late). Well, we started without her. She is unfamiliar with my field so missing 20 minutes puts her way behind. Instead of listening and trying to catch up or apologizing for being late and asking just a few questions to get caught up, she interrupts me at practically every other sentence. Then she harasses me because, as an MD, she simply cannot grasp the significance of my work no matter how much I went through it just for her. She was beyond rude and annoying. I was a aware of my extreme frustration with her but kept my cool. Several people approached me after the talk and complemented me for my professionalism and coolness under fire. One guy said that I was a very classy person. Now, you guys don't know me, but I don't think anyone has ever told me I was classy! :lol:

Clearly my actions had consequences. I suspect I gained quite a bit of respect from the other people in the room (maybe even her) and I was able to get as much of my research across as possible. If I acted differently, I would have probably "planted the seeds of anger" ( :wink: ) and I probably wouldn't have been able to present any of my findings properly. Even worse, I would have embarrassed her because it was very tempting to be condescending with her (other people have done that to her) because she wears her insecurity on her sleeve. The cool thing is that my reactions were not planned or intellectualized while they were happening. I just naturally acted the "right" way. I guess the next step in my practice would be to be able to have more empathy for her insecurities but I haven't gotten that far yet. :lol:

Has anyone had similar experiences?

[Charles]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

However, a basic form of practicing with them is, noting their arising, I try to see what led their arising; noting the arising of their opposite qualities (vindictiveness, selfishness, jealousy, irritation, etc.), I try to see what led to the arising of these opposite qualities.

Stephanie,

I've been doing something like this, especially with selfishness and irritation, without using these words. Actually, one of the several things that led me to practice in the first place was reading some Buddhist perspectives on how anger works, watching how it arises, etc. I recognized some similarities between that and things that I'd already been doing to deal with my anger issues over the years.

The cool thing is that my reactions were not planned or intellectualized while they were happening.
...
Has anyone had similar experiences?

Tracy,

Yes. I recently found myself in the middle of a fight between two people I care about. I was able to treat both of them with compassion and offer them help; in the past I would have been overwhelmed by my own anger and made the situation much worse for everyone. The ability to see my anger, to understand where it was coming from and why, and not feel threatened by it, gave me the 'space' I needed to feel compassion at the same time. It wasn't that I was trying not to be angry or to understand my anger; the understanding and lack of threat were just there.

--Charles

[Charles]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

Good. But let's not forget about the effortless joy that naturally arises through the intimacy of Shikantaza.

Will,

Personally, I don't see a conflict between what Stephanie is talking about, and the sitting we do. In fact, I see what she's talking about as a natural outgrowth of sitting, without trying to do it or calling it a 'practice'. When I sit regularly, I do what she's talking about, because I'm just more aware of what's going on with me. I think it's unavoidable. Putting Pali words to it, splitting it into four or eight concepts -- that's just one way of talking about the experience. Thinking about it as a separate practice, consciously trying to do it -- maybe that's icing on the cake, or maybe there's a danger to it because our only practice 'should be' Shikantaza; but for me it's not a big deal either way. One way or the other, it makes my life better.

--Charles

[will]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

Will,

Personally, I don't see a conflict between what Stephanie is talking about, and the sitting we do. In fact, I see what she's talking about as a natural outgrowth of sitting, without trying to do it or calling it a 'practice'. When I sit regularly, I do what she's talking about, because I'm just more aware of what's going on with me. I think it's unavoidable. Putting Pali words to it, splitting it into four or eight concepts -- that's just one way of talking about the experience. Thinking about it as a separate practice, consciously trying to do it -- maybe that's icing on the cake, or maybe there's a danger to it because our only practice 'should be' Shikantaza; but for me it's not a big deal either way. One way or the other, it makes my life better.

--Charles

Yes. We all are on our own path. Stephanie wrote a very nice post. And I am happy that she is finding her way. That's why I wrote "Good ". In my post.

My post was just a reminder to not get too caught up on any one particular thing in practice. Whether that be "the effortless joy that naturally arises through the intimacy of Shikantaza" or "cultivating the brahma-viharas".

We might have differing of opinions, expression or personality, but that's ok. You don't have to like the same ice cream as I do. You never know, we might try the other kind sometime.

G,W

[Charles]

Re: What I like to practice more than mindfulness

My post was just a reminder to not get too caught up on any one particular thing in practice. Whether that be "the effortless joy that naturally arises through the intimacy of Shikantaza" or "cultivating the brahma-viharas".

Will,

Sorry if I read something into your post that wasn't there. I agree that getting caught up on one aspect of practice, and taking it for the whole, isn't a good thing. And I recognize that it's a danger. I've done it a couple times already since beginning my practice, and I haven't been doing this for very long. Spending time here is one of the things that's helped me notice it. So: your reminders are appreciated, even if I occasionally take them the wrong way.

We might have differing of opinions, expression or personality, but that's ok. You don't have to like the same ice cream as I do. You never know, we might try the other kind sometime.

I suspect I'm eating the same ice cream, so to speak, and getting confused while talking about it.

--Charles