Practicing Zen when also a busy parent

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  • Byokan
    Senior Priest-in-Training
    • Apr 2014
    • 4284

    #61
    Originally posted by Jakuden
    We also need a thread for business-owner whining and commiseration. A small business is like a perpetually colicky infant that never grows up.
    True dat!

    Oh, we are all living lives of quiet desperation. Thank Dogs we have each other. Sangha.

    Gassho
    Byōkan
    sat today
    展道 渺寛 Tendō Byōkan
    Please take my words with a big grain of salt. I know nothing. Wisdom is only found in our whole-hearted practice together.

    Comment

    • Jundo
      Treeleaf Founder and Priest
      • Apr 2006
      • 40987

      #62
      Originally posted by Kaishin
      Pretty much the new reality for the working class and much of the middle class, at least in the States. The good paying manufacturing jobs disappeared and quality of life with it. My grandmother stayed home with their kids until they left the house, and my grandfather retired at 55. They had a nice, but modest house and car. He was an engineering draughtsman, modest salary. But companies took care of employees then. He worked for his company from when he left college until he retired. I think that situation is only for the 1% these days.

      I'll get off my soapbox now... These are "first world" problems, of course...
      The same thing is happening to folks here in Japan now. Before, they had long hours, but steady pay and a long term guaranty. Now, they often just have the long hours.

      We really need a change in our economic system.

      What can Zen Buddhism offer to the mess? Only that maybe we all need to live simply, separating the real necessities (food, housing, simple warm clothes, health care, safety, education, basic transport to get around) from the luxuries (almost anything else). It is a lesson I need to learn too, as I clean out the storeroom today with years of accumulated junk, and fool with installing Netflix on the too big TV. There are some excellent Zen and other "Buddhist Economics" books on living simply and focused on real needs ... both in our homes and in society in general. I think I will start making these a central focus of our Engaged Buddhist Center around here.

      Unfortunately, these days, folks must work two or more jobs just for the necessities like basic clothes and health care!

      Gassho, J

      SatToday (also a "necessity" in my book!)
      Last edited by Jundo; 05-05-2016, 01:01 PM.
      ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

      Comment

      • Jakuden
        Member
        • Jun 2015
        • 6141

        #63
        What's even tougher is trying to teach kids to live with less. All their friends have "stuff," and the hunger and poverty in the world is unreal to them. However, when they get out there with their college degree (hopefully) it will be even harder for them to afford the standard of living they had while growing up. I have hired more than one college graduate that couldn't find a job in their field, for only a few dollars an hour more than minimum wage.

        Gassho
        Jakuden
        SatToday

        Comment

        • Joyo

          #64
          Kaishin, (and others) it's the same way where I live. Homes that were once selling for $82, 000 are now selling or $210, 000. Wages have not gone up, and it's hard to find a decent job. There are many part-time, casual jobs but that doesn't pay the bills. Groceries prices have skyrocketed. The only reason that I can work casual is because we bought our home 15 yrs ago, for a very low price. We've driven one vehicle for the 17 years we've been married. We've hardly travelled at all, and we live very minimal. And, my husband has university education and is an accountant. Crazy!! But we are happy with what we have, so I"m not complaining.

          It is hard with kids, Jakuden. They see all this stuff and want it. It makes me cringe looking at all their toys and yet they want more, more.

          Troy, I so wish I could babysit so you and your wife could go out!!!!! =)

          Gassho,
          Joyo
          sat today

          Comment

          • Rich
            Member
            • Apr 2009
            • 2615

            #65
            I'm not complaining, I have enough. My father was an appliance repairman and made enough to support a wife and four children. He was well respected and valued in the community, as evidenced by the huge turnout at his funeral which was an eye opener. What has changed? Why and how has the wealth become so concentrated? No simple answers. But structurally some things must change and I sense this frustration from many.

            SAT today
            _/_
            Rich
            MUHYO
            無 (MU, Emptiness) and 氷 (HYO, Ice) ... Emptiness Ice ...

            https://instagram.com/notmovingmind

            Comment

            • Jishin
              Member
              • Oct 2012
              • 4821

              #66
              Originally posted by Rich
              Why and how has the wealth become so concentrated? No simple answers. But structurally some things must change and I sense this frustration from many.

              SAT today
              Wealth is redistributed, not concentrated. Answers are simple. Things must change and it is frustrating.

              Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

              Comment

              • Kaishin
                Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 2322

                #67
                I wouldn't be surprised to see intergenerational households coming back into popularity.
                Thanks,
                Kaishin (開心, Open Heart)
                Please take this layman's words with a grain of salt.

                Comment

                • Troy
                  Member
                  • Sep 2013
                  • 1318

                  #68
                  Originally posted by Joyo

                  Troy, I so wish I could babysit so you and your wife could go out!!!!! =)

                  Gassho,
                  Joyo
                  sat today
                  [emoji3] Thanks Joyo! Its all good though. Her brother lives with us (a long story for another time, ha). He has agreed to babysit for Shellie so she can have a girls night out tomorrow. Then my boss is going to let me off early on Sat so I can get home at a decent time!

                  Comment

                  • Joyo

                    #69
                    Originally posted by Rich
                    My father was an appliance repairman and made enough to support a wife and four children.

                    SAT today
                    Wow, that's unheard of in today's world. It's very sad how things have changed.

                    Gassho,
                    Joyo
                    sat today

                    Comment

                    • Troy
                      Member
                      • Sep 2013
                      • 1318

                      #70
                      1% of the world's population possesses half the world's wealth. Wow! Amazing. But who are these people? This elite group of the super rich. I didn't know so I did some research. Well, here is were it gets kind of crazy, I am one of the super rich. Yep, no lie. Another surprise is (and I am making assumptions here) you may be too. If you make more than $34,000 a year, you are part of that super elite group. Of course this does not tell the whole story, but it certainly interesting to think about.

                      Also, there is some encouraging news about the struggle against poverty. The is from the World Bank's website:

                      "According to the most recent estimates, in 2012, 12.7 percent of the world’s population lived at or below $1.90 a day. That’s down from 37 percent in 1990 and 44 percent in 1981."

                      Thought I would throw a little sunshine in to the conversation You may be super rich (although it may not feel like it) and we are making progress in the fight against poverty!



                      ..sat2day•合掌

                      Comment

                      • Mp

                        #71
                        Originally posted by Troy
                        1% of the world's population possesses half the world's wealth. Wow! Amazing. But who are these people? This elite group of the super rich. I didn't know so I did some research. Well, here is were it gets kind of crazy, I am one of the super rich. Yep, no lie. Another surprise is (and I am making assumptions here) you may be too. If you make more than $34,000 a year, you are part of that super elite group. Of course this does not tell the whole story, but it certainly interesting to think about.

                        Also, there is some encouraging news about the struggle against poverty. The is from the World Bank's website:

                        "According to the most recent estimates, in 2012, 12.7 percent of the world’s population lived at or below $1.90 a day. That’s down from 37 percent in 1990 and 44 percent in 1981."

                        Thought I would throw a little sunshine in to the conversation You may be super rich (although it may not feel like it) and we are making progress in the fight against poverty!



                        ..sat2day•合掌
                        Here is an interesting video on the subject of wealth inequality.

                        NOTE: Firstly, we know about and apologise for the incorrect map in this version of the video, there is an update version in the playlist with a corrected ma...


                        Gassho
                        Shingen

                        s@today

                        Comment

                        • Jundo
                          Treeleaf Founder and Priest
                          • Apr 2006
                          • 40987

                          #72
                          A personal view ...

                          I believe that capitalism is a wondrous system that has freed the power of progress and ingenuity to build a better world ... with miraculous advances in medicine, science, education and social/economic equality ... at least, compared to how things were in the past, throughout all human history. Even the poorest people in Western countries these days typically will live with greater safety and comfort than emperors of old. I often repeat the follow to remind folks of this too ...

                          I often reflect that I live like a king compared to how even kings lived in centuries past. If one ever has a chance to visit the Palace of Versailles or any of the great homes from 200 or more years ago, one will first notice the absence of electricity, indoor plumbing (the servants would bring in chamber pots), refrigerators and microwave ovens, modern heating and air conditioners, televisions, radios, computers. One might also notice the absence of general sanitation, automobiles, modern medicine and the like. Please don't even ask how the servants lived in their homes! (In fact, much of the world outside the west ... even sometimes in it ... still lives so).

                          So, it is hard for me to feel sorry for the little drafts and inconveniences in my own home which is big and more than spacious enough, with a garden (not quite the size of Versailles) and having all of the above. The fact is that even the typical home of a family under the poverty line these days in the west will still usually have many of the things that kings of old never dreamed of ... a fridge, electric lights, a microwave, constant entertainment on the tube, heat (hopefully), a phone, toilet, shower, recorded music at one's fingertips. Our rising expectations cause us never to be satisfied even when we live better than kings!

                          That does not mean that I think it perfectly fine that many in my own country still live in violent and drug filled neighborhoods, in rat filled housing where kids live in terror. I do not, and it is the great disgrace of America that so many live in such way. I also dream of the day when everyone in the world can have access to the basics of life ... a warm place to sleep, health care, education, safety. We must keep striving until all our fellow human beings are so. I think it also fine that most of us might want to move to a home or neighborhood cleaner, quieter, safer than where one now finds oneself (my gosh, I think back to some of the horrible noisy and run down apartments I used to live in in rather dangerous neighborhoods. I am glad to be out).

                          However, it is also so easy for us to have ever rising standards of what we "need", never realizing and satisfied with what we already have even if far from "perfect". Most of us live better than Louis XIV.
                          http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...l=1#post131161
                          Maybe what Buddhism can help us do is to focus and fine tune our system, keeping the best aspects but losing the excess, waste, environmental degradation, remaining social inequalities and injustice and the like ... knowing when to be satisfied with what we have even as we strive to make the world better ... knowing the intangible treasures of life are the true jewel, and not the stuff in stores for which we yell "more more more!" ...

                          ... finding the best of both worlds ... a world in which we keep the best of our present economic system striving for advances in health, science, education and general living standards, yet infused with more of the simplicity, moderation, balance, non-consumerist values, generosity, sharing, peace and satisfaction of Buddhism.

                          David Loy, the great Buddhist "futurist" and commentator, writes on such topics frequently.

                          Dear All, Every once in awhile I come across some Zen related books that I feel are worth examination by most folks. I happen to have come across two just in recent days. First, I would like to say that David Loy's "Money Sex War Karma" is truly unique. Loy is a long time Zen practitioner, Buddhist historian and


                          and



                          Gassho, J

                          SatToday
                          ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

                          Comment

                          • Troy
                            Member
                            • Sep 2013
                            • 1318

                            #73
                            Practicing Zen when also a busy parent

                            Originally posted by Shingen
                            Here is an interesting video on the subject of wealth inequality.

                            NOTE: Firstly, we know about and apologise for the incorrect map in this version of the video, there is an update version in the playlist with a corrected ma...


                            Gassho
                            Shingen

                            s@today
                            Well, that took all the sunshine out the conversation, lol. But, yeah you are right there is still a lot of work to be done. I think the question we should be asking is what are we, the super rich, going to do about it? To think that me giving someone a $1.90 a day could double their income blows me away. But that is the good news, we can make a difference.
                            Last edited by Troy; 05-06-2016, 03:30 AM.

                            Comment

                            • Mp

                              #74
                              Originally posted by Troy
                              Well, that took all the sunshine out the conversation, lol. But, yeah you are right there is still a lot of work to be done. I think the question we should be asking is what are we, the super rich, going to do about it? To think that me giving someone a $1.90 a day could double their income blows me away.
                              I know, I am such a party pooper. Actually, you are correct in trying to find that silver lining in the mud and the muck ... so lets keep at it and find a good balance that works for everyone. =)

                              Gassho
                              Shingen

                              s@today

                              Comment

                              • Troy
                                Member
                                • Sep 2013
                                • 1318

                                #75
                                Then again...[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]




                                ..sat2day•合掌

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