Practicing Zen when also a busy parent

[Daitetsu]

A good method when you have a messy house:
Invite people for the next day.
Works like a charm for me...

Gassho,

Daitetsu (who should invite someone for tomorrow, I guess)

#sat2day

[Gukan]

A good method when you have a messy house:
Invite people for the next day.
Works like a charm for me...

Oh so true. Or, as my friend does, hire a cleaner for an hour a week and spend the evening before frantically tidying up so the house is in a fit state to be cleaned

Gassho,
Libby
sattoday

[Mp]

A good method when you have a messy house:
Invite people for the next day.
Works like a charm for me...

Gassho,

Daitetsu (who should invite someone for tomorrow, I guess)

#sat2day

Nice! =)

Gassho
Shingen

s@today

[Troy]

Practicing Zen when also a busy parent

Thank you Joyo for posting this and everyone for your responses. I can definitely relate. I have a 2 year old and 10 year old daughter. I took a new job in November that is two hours away from home where I am at work 11 hours a day 6 days a week. On my day off, I go home for the day and give Shellie a break from the kids which of course I love because I have not seen them all week. It may sound like I work a lot of hours but Shellie is busier than I am. She works 40hrs a week and takes care of the kids. Kids are a lot of work! Believe it.

I have the same feelings I think a lot of parents have: I am doing enough and am I doing it right? I believe if we are both mentally and emotionally available everything else will fall into place. That is what I strive for any way.

As far as practice is concerned I do my best. I try not to fight to hard against life. Sit when I can and accept every moment as practice. All of it the good, bad and the ugly, accept it and let it be. Its normal!


..sat2day•合掌

[Rich]

It makes me a little sad to read your story that a family has to work so much to survive. Almost like slavery with a little freedom to come and go or find a new master.

[Joyo]

I agree with Rich, this makes me sad too. I wish I lived closer, would take your kids for you and they could play with mine for awhile to give you both a break. You have a good attitude, Troy. That will help you for sure.

I know what you mean, kids are a lot of work. I have two boys. To say they are a handful is an understatement. I have a soft, quiet voice and demeanor, but I've had to learn to become a strict army drill sergeant or they run wild and do not listen. My husband is a huge help, but yeah, still a lot of work. Before I had children, I had this romanticised view that it would be such a wonderful way to nurture and take care of a little human being. Well, as we all know, that's not exactly what it's like lol!

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[Troy]

Practicing Zen when also a busy parent

Thank you Rich and Joyo. It is not as bad as it may seem at first because I work for a firm that contracts with different insurance companies. We can take assignments as we choose. My current assignment ends in June (although it may be extended) then I can take a few weeks off before looking for another one. The job pays really good too. I figure do it for a couple years to pay off some debt then get a "normal" job. Joyo you are welcomed to babysit anytime! Can I pencil you in for Thursday? It is my wife's birthday.


..sat2day•合掌

[Jundo]

Thank you Joyo for posting this and everyone for your responses. I can definitely relate. I have a 2 year old and 10 year old daughter. I took a new job in November that is two hours away from home where I am at work 11 hours a day 6 days a week. On my day off, I go home for the day and give Shellie a break from the kids which of course I love because I have not seen them all week. It may sound like I work a lot of hours but Shellie is busier than I am. She works 40hrs a week and takes care of the kids. Kids are a lot of work! Believe it.

I have the same feelings I think a lot of parents have: I am doing enough and am I doing it right? I believe if we are both mentally and emotionally available everything else will fall into place. That is what I strive for any way.

As far as practice is concerned I do my best. I try not to fight to hard against life. Sit when I can and accept every moment as practice. All of it the good, bad and the ugly, accept it and let it be. Its normal!


..sat2day•合掌

I too wish you could find some situation which would let you pay the bills while having more time with the family, and more time to rest.

In centuries past, when Zen and Buddhism spread through India, China and Japan, the serfs and peasants would work in the fields for countless hours, yet even they had could usually have their family close by. Today, we have a new kind of serfdom which separates families and works us to the bone.

Gassho, Jundo

[Kaishin]

It makes me a little sad to read your story that a family has to work so much to survive. Almost like slavery with a little freedom to come and go or find a new master.

Pretty much the new reality for the working class and much of the middle class, at least in the States. The good paying manufacturing jobs disappeared and quality of life with it. My grandmother stayed home with their kids until they left the house, and my grandfather retired at 55. They had a nice, but modest house and car. He was an engineering draughtsman, modest salary. But companies took care of employees then. He worked for his company from when he left college until he retired. I think that situation is only for the 1% these days.

I'll get off my soapbox now... These are "first world" problems, of course...

[Rich]

Thanks Kaishin. Agree with you, quality of life has deteriorated for many.

Sat today

Sent from my LG-LS720 using Tapatalk

[Mp]

Pretty much the new reality for the working class and much of the middle class, at least in the States. The good paying manufacturing jobs disappeared and quality of life with it. My grandmother stayed home with their kids until they left the house, and my grandfather retired at 55. They had a nice, but modest house and car. He was an engineering draughtsman, modest salary. But companies took care of employees then. He worked for his company from when he left college until he retired. I think that situation is only for the 1% these days.

I'll get off my soapbox now... These are "first world" problems, of course...

Thank you Kaishin I couldn't agree with you more. It is sometimes heavy on the heart seeing how things are going.

Gassho
Shingen

s@today

[martyrob]

Know how you feel, Kaishin.
Both my wife and I work full time but still struggle to make ends meet. The car's due its MOT at the end of this month and I'm just hoping that it will get through without too much cost. A forlorn hope really because I know I'm running around on two bald tyres.

Even at 57 I'm still relaying on my mother or in laws to help out now and again. They were beneficiaries of that post war settlement in both the UK and US that ensured a comfortable life for working people and retired with good packages. They are the few people left in my country - outside the super rich - with a generous living and they are the very people who consistently vote to remove those benefits for the succeeding generations. It's curious how working people conspired in their own impoverishment.
Civic society is being dismantled in my country and I fear for my children's future.

Wishing all well.
Martyn
Sat today

[Jishin]

I was wandering about how one practices Zen when not a busy parent?

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

[Byokan]

I was wandering about how one practices Zen when not a busy parent?

Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

Haha! That’s a different thread. Those of us without children are quietly tippy-toe-ing around the edges of the room and hiding behind the potted plants, because we have all learned, when in conversation with parents:

1. Never complain about a lack of time.

And even more important:

2. Keep your brilliant child-rearing theories to yourself!

It’s ok, this thread is for the Moms and Dads. You guys are awesome.

We childless folks can commiserate on the "Waa!-It’s-All-About-Me-24/7-And-I-Still-Can’t-Get-To-The-Zafu" thread.

Gassho
Byōkan
sat today

[Jakuden]

Haha! That’s a different thread. Those of us without children are quietly tippy-toe-ing around the edges of the room and hiding behind the potted plants, because we have all learned, when in conversation with parents:

1. Never complain about a lack of time.

And even more important:

2. Keep your brilliant child-rearing theories to yourself!

It’s ok, this thread is for the Moms and Dads. You guys are awesome.

We childless folks can commiserate on the "Waa!-It’s-All-About-Me-24/7-And-I-Still-Can’t-Get-To-The-Zafu" thread.

Gassho
Byōkan
sat today

LOL! Byokan you are pretty awesome yourself. You don't have to hide behind the potted plants.

We also need a thread for business-owner whining and commiseration. A small business is like a perpetually colicky infant that never grows up.

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday