What does "self" mean in Buddhism

[Shoki]

There is what I think of as the polluted self. There is where I can spend a lot of time thinking about how everything relates to me and vice versa; This meal is great so I am a good cook. That person bothers me. Those flowers I grew are beautiful so they please me. Why is she acting like that towards me? It's amazing how much time I could spend being annoyed because people don't behave the way I think they should. This type of self can lead to troubled mental state or exalted ego status even at very subtle levels.
Then there is the clearer self. I go sit or I keep slicing tomatoes or whatever I'm doing and let the pollution fade. Like Jundo says; let the clouds blow away and see the clear blue sky. No judgements. Just sit and pay panoramic attention. And then.....I don't know. There's a clearer, truer self. It's like I've tested both and this works. Shunryu Suzuki said when you do something you should burn yourself up like a good bonfire leaving no trace of yourself.

Gassho,
Sat Today
James

[Jundo]

...
Then there is the clearer self. I go sit or I keep slicing tomatoes or whatever I'm doing and let the pollution fade. Like Jundo says; let the clouds blow away and see the clear blue sky. No judgements. Just sit and pay panoramic attention. And then.....I don't know. There's a clearer, truer self. It's like I've tested both and this works.

Oh, such moments are so vital on this Pathless Path!

It is not usually a matter of the hard walls falling away, but more often that they just soften, become clearer, porous and illuminated. It is these moments in life where we can "flip the switch" between all the frustration, strong desires, aversions, attachments, anger, divisive thinking, regrets, hopes, fears and other divided thinking ...

... and then instead find simplicity, letting be, clarity, lightness, wholeness, whereby all the complexity of a moment before become utters simplicity.

This is pretty much what I encourage people to develop with the daily "insta-Zazen" recommendation, by which the little annoyances and struggles of the day (the creeping post office line, the guy who cuts us off in traffic, waiting in the doctor's office for test results) becomes a proving ground for "hitting that switch" which replaces tensions and negative emotions with allowing, clarity, greater ease. Suddenly everything is tasted differently.

Introducing Insta-Zazen!

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?7686-Sit-a-Long-with-Jundo-Zazen-for-Beginners-%28Part-XX%29

The author of the 6th Century book I have been quoting also says that there are times that every division drops away and we completely "burn ourself up", times there is not a cloud in the sky, and other times a bit of light shines through the cracks.

Wonderful.

Gassho, J

SatToday

[Joyo]

Absolutely beautiful Jundo and James! This way of living and practicing has helped me with every aspect of my life. It is the anchor that is always there, amidst all of life, whether it's arguing with a spouse, cutting tomatoes, cleaning the kitchen floor, or taking the dog for a hike.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[Jakuden]

Here's to a clear, whole, present, simple New Year with peace and love to all!

Gassho,
Sierra
SatToday

[Cumminjd]

Thank you all for this thread, I sometimes have too much egocentric self, more importantly egocentric self doubt.

Gassho
James
Sattoday


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[Ryumon]

I've just been re-reading Uchiyama's Opening the Hand of Thought, which covers the question of what self is in great detail. I won't try to summarize it, because I'm not sure I've fully understood everything he says, but I will add these quotes that I've noted from the book:

“self is what is there before you cook it up with thought.”

“This self is universal existence, everything that exists”

“All of us, regardless of whether we realize it or not, are living out the self as the entire universe.”

“We practice Zazen, neither aiming at having a special mystical experience nor trying to gain greater enlightenment. Zazen as true Mahayana teaching is always the whole self just truly being the whole self, life truly being life.”

Gassho,

Kirk

SatToday

[Washin]

Great thread.
Thank you Joyo and everyone for the comments.

Just wished to add my 5 cents.. I've just finished reading the Robert Aitken's chapter 14 (The Self)
in the 'Mind of Clover' where he points..

"The self that is 'autonomous' and also one with all things is the self that is forgotten,
not the self that is somehow eliminated. How do you forget the self?
In an act --- in a task. You don't forget your self by trying to forget yourself. When you're absorbed in
reading, the words appear in your mind as your own thoughts. When you're absorbed in Mu, then Mu breathes
Mu. The fragrance of incense is sitting there on your cushion.. The sound of trees in the wind walks about
in kinhin.. The bark of the dog prostrates itself before the altar. Yet, these are simply the acts of a Stephen
or a Linda."

I think this is so wonderfully put..

Gassho,

Sergey
sat-today

[Matt]

Most flavors of Zen Buddhism, however, have a much more subtle teaching, which I might describe as "the little self may be false in one way, but also useful and golden while it lasts". The enterprise then becomes to see through it, drop it and embrace the little self all at once!

Thank you for this teaching, Jundo. This is very helpful.

Gassho,
Matt
#SatToday

[Jundo]

Most flavors of Zen Buddhism, however, have a much more subtle teaching, which I might describe as "the little self may be false in one way, but also useful and golden while it lasts". The enterprise then becomes to see through it, drop it and embrace the little self all at once!

I might also add that this Practice includes "change-not-changing" the little self. What is that?

Well, from one aspect, our little self, just as it is, is always a shining jewel with not one thing about it to change, greedy or generous, angry or equanimous, jealous or confident etc etc. No need to change one hair on your little head. Same for all things in this crazy world of war and peace, sickness or disease, clean or dirty. There is not one thing to change, each is a shining facet of the jewel, and a light shines through all the dichotomies.

On the other hand, there is much about us which this Practice guides us to change, namely, to be freer of greed, anger, jealousy and the rest of the divisive thinking of ignorance. Likewise for this world.

What is the result? Hard for our normal "either/or" way of encountering the world to grasp, but it is something like ...

... when fat there is nothing to change, when thin there is nothing to change ... yet best to stick to that New Years diet because fat is not healthy. Anger is just anger, but best to be free from anger because it divides us from properly seeing the Wholeness (and also makes our lives and this world a lot uglier). When sick just be sick, when healthy there is just healthy, yet take your medicine because who wants to be sick?

... likewise, war is just war and poverty is just poverty, and a light shines right through all human war and peace, rich or poor, clean or dirty. Nonetheless, let us end the war and make peace, feed the poor, clean the kitchen and the rivers (because who wants a filthy kitchen and polluted rivers)?

Understand?

No spelling mistakes possible on the Buddha Typewriter ... each missed letter a shining diamond ... yet best to use spell check (I just did).

Our Practice as this little "self" is change-not-changing at once.

By the way ...

... nothing to change, not one hair on my head, fat is fat and skinny is skinny, and each piece of chocolate cake is just also a "shining jewel" of rich "just what it is-ness" so no way to "cheat" in the Buddha's eyes ... yet I have been sticking to this diet and avoiding the chocolate cake and not cheating on my diet as best I can for a long time. If having a choice between being a fat Buddha or a healthy one, I take the latter. Kind of a "Zen Diet".

Gassho, J

SatToday

[Mp]

Our Practice as this little "self" is change-not-changing at once.

Gassho
Shingen

#sattoday

[Washin]

likewise, war is just war and poverty is just poverty, and a light shines right through all human war and peace, rich or poor, clean or dirty. Nonetheless, let us end the war and make peace, feed the poor, clean the kitchen and the rivers (because who wants a filthy kitchen and polluted rivers)?

Thank you

Gassho
Sergey
sat-today

[Kyonin]

Today I had to clean the liter box. And the cats were looking at me.

It was a weird moment because for a second, my self told me not to clean it. It smelled really bad. "Let someone else do it".

Then I smiled at the cats and cleaned, forgetting about what I wanted.

Just did what life needs.

Gassho,

Kyonin
#SatToday

[Jakuden]

Today I had to clean the liter box. And the cats were looking at me.

It was a weird moment because for a second, my self told me not to clean it. It smelled really bad. "Let someone else do it".

Then I smiled at the cats and cleaned, forgetting about what I wanted.

Just did what life needs.

Gassho,

Kyonin
#SatToday

....I had a similar moment when my alarm went off this morning and I needed to get out of my comfy bed and go feed, blanket and turn the horses out in 0 degree weather. But there is something particularly satisfying about having happy, clean, fed animals, at least for me... they exude so much more gratitude than grumpy teenagers, at any rate.

Thank you Jundo and everyone for your comments... nothing needs to be changed, but doing what needs to be done today anyway.

Gassho,
Sierra
SatToday