How was your retreat?

[Nengyo]

Every moment has been practice. I clearly missed something of great importance in Virginia, but I would not trade my experiences here for anything. They have been profound and earth-shaking. And nothing at all - just living a life. The greatest wall that feel down perhaps for me was that between Soto priest and person of zen.... a point at which effort becomes no effort and the simple act of living takes place.

Deep bows
Yugen

_/\_

Hello everyone,
It was very difficult not to be at the retreat after so much preparation ... I stayed home to care for my son (who had badly injured his knee at work and required surgery to repair).... My knowledge that I without a doubt made the right decision coexisted with the feeling that I was letting my brothers down.

I received several messages of support, all saying that I was indeed there at the retreat - for a few days I thought folks were being polite, but the meaning of that statement did not really come alive for me until after a few days of reflection. I cared for my son Peter, who was in significant discomfort and immobilized.... on day four I got the call that my father (age 87) was in the hospital after having become disoriented and falling. Drove two hours south to stay with him and comfort my mother. Dad goes home after two nights in the hospital. I go back to Maine. Peter slowly on the mend. Me feeling a bit sorry for myself. Then the phone call from a dear Zen mentor and friend - in the hospital with pulmonary embolisms in the lungs following return from retreat in California. Further tests reveal an illness that he likely will not survive. His wife was traveling and could not be reached - I sat with him at the hospital until his son could come up from Massachusetts. He is one of the last surviving original students of Shunryu Suzuki. What I have learned from this man about being a priest and about life in general is immeasurable. All of a sudden I saw great meaning in staying home.... the plate tectonics of my life's situation are shifting. They always have been, I just insisted on viewing these things as fixed, unchanging entities.

And then I understood that people saying I was at the retreat were not pleasantries. The duality of here or there, now or later, self and other, all falls away at a point not of our choosing..... now upon contemplating the Jukai and Ango preparations for 2014.... I realize there is no Ango / not-Ango....or periods of intensive practice and periods of coasting. There is just dedicated and consistent practice. There is no "I will practice my rituals tomorrow when I have more time" - there is just today, and the recognition that every single thing we do right now - large or small - matters a great deal. Like a ripple on a lake, the waves of these actions will radiate in all directions. They may not be felt today, or tomorrow, but their energy is not lost. So instead of bursts of effort, there is just a concerted ongoing effort called 'living a life' - Engaged Service/Projects is no longer something to be done one Saturday a month, it is something I become - not something to do but something to be - the distinction between the person and the action falls away and the two are indistinguishable.

The feeling of sadness and a bit of self-pity at not being with my brothers and having the practice/support of a group was replaced by the knowledge that I could either cry in my soup or just be responsible for my own practice, and know that in the same time and place my brothers were sitting, sewing, and living.

Every moment has been practice. I clearly missed something of great importance in Virginia, but I would not trade my experiences here for anything. They have been profound and earth-shaking. And nothing at all - just living a life. The greatest wall that fell down perhaps for me was that between Soto priest and person of zen.... a point at which effort becomes no effort and the simple act of living takes place.

Deep bows
Yugen

[Jiken]

Pound of bacon Nengyo. Lol. (Inside joke)

Gassho

Daido


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Nengyo]

Funny. For me everyone was smaller that I thought they would be lol!!!

Gassho,

Daido

In height or girth? What I lack in height I try to make up for with excessively large meals

Funny. For me everyone was smaller that I thought they would be lol!!!

Gassho,

Daido

LOL ... this way you all can meet in the middle ... get it!

Gassho
Shingen

Daido,
It's just that you are larger than life man....!

Deep bows (between belly laughs)
Yugen

[Jiken]

Funny. For me everyone was smaller that I thought they would be lol!!!

Gassho,

Daido

[Nengyo]

The things that struck out to me as the retreat is done is how tall some of you guys are, i talk to you on a weekly basis on a wide variety of mediums but never realized how tall some of you are...

Mtfbwy
Fugen

Except for me! hahaha

You aren't kidding though. Almost everyone was a different height than I expected... mostly taller.

Hello everyone,

Yes sadly I was not able to attend, but I can say with certainty that I truly felt that I was apart of it all. I sat live for as many as I could and some recorded sections, but every time I sat I felt everyone. =)

I have to say I am so very thankful for ALL of you for making this happen. For ensuring there was that visual connection so we could see, as well as feel the love, support, and respect this Sangha has for one another. I will also admit I was a bit sad at the of the ordination ceremony ... I just wanted to reach out and give some BIG hugs! But I did have tears of joy for you all. =)

I also wanted to add that I have sat 3, 7, and 10 day sessions/retreats before and from my experience whether here, there, or anywhere ... there is no separation. We are truly connected! Whether if I was watching Dainin or Taigu ... or the Unsui practicing for the first time; I truly felt their joy and appreciation in my heart. One of the things that I love and respect about this Sangha is the openness and acceptance. Watching you all from the very beginning of the retreat I could see you all connecting and interacting like old friends with great love and respect for one another. Just wonderful! =)

Just a little side, but I feel still on the same topic is Jundo and Leon's Journey of America. Also having these moments; these times of sharing; connecting ... and actually seeing Jundo sitting with the other Sangha member's has just solidified this feeling within my heart.

Thank you again EVERYONE for all that you have done and for all that you do, I truly am thankful!

Deep bows
Shingen

[Tb]

Hi.

I had/have no possibilty to go to America for Taigu's retreat, but i had the benefit of watching and participating in parts of it live after coming home from work, and then do the rest, which i hadn't done live, as i had the chance.
The things that struck out to me as the retreat is done is how tall some of you guys are, i talk to you on a weekly basis on a wide variety of mediums but never realized how tall some of you are...

Next, for Treeleaf's sake this was an milestone.
I'm so happy for everyone, hopefully you got something out of this.
As Jundo hinted, life is interesting, but it is all good practice.
Thank you for your practice.

Mtfbwy
Fugen

[Byokan]

Hi All,

yes, my original question was to all, those who attended, those who sat along, and those taking it piece by piece. Just a place to talk about it all

Gassho
Lisa

[Jundo]

Hi,

I would like to make a special request to Yugen, Fugen and Shingen to discuss their "retreat experiences" too. Although these three could not come to the Retreat in Washington due to family and life circumstances and emergencies (Yugen at the last minute despite months of preparation), they were there as much as anyone sitting in the room. Our "Retreats" at Treeleaf meld effortlessly into family and worldly responsibilities. I know, for example, that Yugen faced that week a series of great and small family emergencies, and Fugen faces daily the duties of being a single dad with limited income. Shingen faced a work situation that simply forbid his coming. Dealing and sitting with such is "Retreat" and "Ceremony" ... finding freedom right at the heart of obligations is the true meaning of "Sesshin".

Yugen, Fugen and Shingen, might you comment on what "retreat" was for you?

Gassho, Jundo

[Ishin]

It is so nice to hear of all your wonderful experiences. I have watched some of the retreat recordings and got a flavor of what it was like. Hope to be able to sit with and watch more in the following weeks. Thanks so much for sharing.

Gassho
C

[Kyonin]

Hi all,

Just want to make a quick post because I'm still in Washington, waiting for my plane tomorrow early morning. I am writing this at a borrowed computer at a hostel near downtown DC.

Yes, it was a beautiful and powerful experience. For me it has been humbling and the biggest adventure in my life that could only be possible thanks to the efforts of our teachers and this sangha.

I wish my English was good enough to put into words all these feelings that wrap my heart, being gratitude the biggest one.

When I'm home and rested, I'll post a little more.

Gassho,

Kyonin
the roaming priest

[Sekishi]

To echo a little of what Dosho says above, there are many details I would like to add over the coming weeks. But at this point I have little to add that has not already been said.

Make no mistake, the hearts of your fellow Sangha members are enormous and encompass the entire universe. Each and every one of you, both "at home", and "in the room" is a Bodhisattva. The love, tears, hugs, and bows (and of course the sitting, with all things at rest) have penetrated flesh and bone. Treeleaf **is** family.

Kokuu, thank you for posting the gate of sweet nectar for everyone. It has rung out in my mind before each meal since the retreat.

While stuck in traffic on the drive home, the Jizo Dharani also sprang from my lips unbidden. It was chanted 108 times prior to kito, and rings within this body still. Hopefully the kito video will eventually be posted (privately) for those who were unable to attend. While very different from our usual practice here at Treeleaf, it was an unforgettable experience, and opening of the heart:

Jizo Dharani:
Om
Ka Ka
Kabi San
Ma E
Sowa Ka

[apologies if I miss-spelled something]

Gassho,
Sekishi