How was your retreat?

[Heisoku]

Thank you for sharing Yugen. You were with those who needed you at that time, where else could you be?
Gassho. Heisoku.

Yugen, your words touched me deeply.
Gassho,
Nindo

[Dosho]

I said you were there. There were just sometimes I couldn't see you because you were standing behind somebody. But, in my heart I knew you must be there. I never really obtained object permanence, so that may be why!

I obviously meant Shingen, but nicely done my friend.

Gassho,
Dosho

Wait.... I wasn't there!?! I wonder where I was.... ;-)

Yugen,

No separation.

Gassho,

Shugen


Shugen

[Shugen]

Yugen,

You were there my friend...and you too Shugen & Fugen. I don't say that to make you feel better. I say it because it is true. This is the practice we have all undertaken as Treeleaf priests and you were exactly where you should have been. I mean that!

Gassho,
Dosho

Wait.... I wasn't there!?! I wonder where I was.... ;-)

Yugen,

No separation.

Gassho,

Shugen


Shugen

[Meishin]

john

[Dosho]

Yugen,

You were there my friend...and you too Shugen & Fugen. I don't say that to make you feel better. I say it because it is true. This is the practice we have all undertaken as Treeleaf priests and you were exactly where you should have been. I mean that!

Gassho,
Dosho

[Seimyo]

Thank you for sharing this Yugen. Metta to you my friend and those in your view.

Deep-bows,
Seimyo

[Jiken]

Gassho,

Daido

[Daiyo]

Yugen, so wonderful words.
Thanks for the teaching.

Metta to you and your people.

Gassho,
Walter.

[Myosha]

Dear Yugen,

Thank you for the lesson.


Gassho,
Myosha

[Kokuu]

Yugen

Your practice is an inspiration and these are the reasons we practice. Metta to all who are sick.

Deep bows
Kokuu

[Byokan]

Yugen,

deep bows, gratitude, and metta to you and your loved ones.

Gassho
Lisa

Hello everyone,
It was very difficult not to be at the retreat after so much preparation ... I stayed home to care for my son (who had badly injured his knee at work and required surgery to repair).... My knowledge that I without a doubt made the right decision coexisted with the feeling that I was letting my brothers down.

I received several messages of support, all saying that I was indeed there at the retreat - for a few days I thought folks were being polite, but the meaning of that statement did not really come alive for me until after a few days of reflection. I cared for my son Peter, who was in significant discomfort and immobilized.... on day four I got the call that my father (age 87) was in the hospital after having become disoriented and falling. Drove two hours south to stay with him and comfort my mother. Dad goes home after two nights in the hospital. I go back to Maine. Peter slowly on the mend. Me feeling a bit sorry for myself. Then the phone call from a dear Zen mentor and friend - in the hospital with pulmonary embolisms in the lungs following return from retreat in California. Further tests reveal an illness that he likely will not survive. His wife was traveling and could not be reached - I sat with him at the hospital until his son could come up from Massachusetts. He is one of the last surviving original students of Shunryu Suzuki. What I have learned from this man about being a priest and about life in general is immeasurable. All of a sudden I saw great meaning in staying home.... the plate tectonics of my life's situation are shifting. They always have been, I just insisted on viewing these things as fixed, unchanging entities.

And then I understood that people saying I was at the retreat were not pleasantries. The duality of here or there, now or later, self and other, all falls away at a point not of our choosing..... now upon contemplating the Jukai and Ango preparations for 2014.... I realize there is no Ango / not-Ango....or periods of intensive practice and periods of coasting. There is just dedicated and consistent practice. There is no "I will practice my rituals tomorrow when I have more time" - there is just today, and the recognition that every single thing we do right now - large or small - matters a great deal. Like a ripple on a lake, the waves of these actions will radiate in all directions. They may not be felt today, or tomorrow, but their energy is not lost. So instead of bursts of effort, there is just a concerted ongoing effort called 'living a life' - Engaged Service/Projects is no longer something to be done one Saturday a month, it is something I become - not something to do but something to be - the distinction between the person and the action falls away and the two are indistinguishable.

The feeling of sadness and a bit of self-pity at not being with my brothers and having the practice/support of a group was replaced by the knowledge that I could either cry in my soup or just be responsible for my own practice, and know that in the same time and place my brothers were sitting, sewing, and living.

Every moment has been practice. I clearly missed something of great importance in Virginia, but I would not trade my experiences here for anything. They have been profound and earth-shaking. And nothing at all - just living a life. The greatest wall that fell down perhaps for me was that between Soto priest and person of zen.... a point at which effort becomes no effort and the simple act of living takes place.

Deep bows
Yugen

Thank you for sharing this Yugen. I wish Peter a full recovery and hope your father is on the mend as well. I am sorry to here about your good friend...

Gassho, Shawn

Yugen, I also want to thank you for your beautiful teaching. May your son feel better soon.

Gassho,
Joyo

a point at which effort becomes no effort and the simple act of living takes place.

Yugen,

Thank you for showing us how such challenges can be great teachings.

Deep bows
Shingen