Cannot ignore thought...

[Matt]

Thanks, Tony, for bringing up this question and to those who answered. Reading through has been helpful for me.

Recently, I became aware of a tendency in myself to cling to some future point at which I could then realize a non-busy mind. Specifically, the time when I would clear all of the difficult tasks at work (and at home, at times), and only then would I be in a place to be more equinimitous. I would identify all of the tasks I needed to get done each day and work furiously at them so that I could then be done and relax with 'non-busy' mind.

Earlier this week, however, the work tasks kept coming and I just could not get on top of them all, and I suppose I reached a breaking point. At this time of being most busy, I realized that there was no way I could possibly accomplish everything that needed to get done that day (or which I told myself needed to get done) in order for me to be at peace.

And that in fact I was clinging, I think, to some future state of completeness.

Weirdly, at that place of being most overwhelmed, I felt myself spontaneously relax, like my body and mind had reached a breaking point and just had to let go.

I also reminded myself of what Jundo has often said, such as here about 'dropping all demands of how things must be.' And that 'silence is found in the greatest noise.' Which is pretty much the opposite of what I had thought zen would be when I started practicing several years ago.

Deep bows,
Matt J

[Jundo]

Congrats Matt.

Seems like you got one great task done.

Gassho, J

[Juki]

I would identify all of the tasks I needed to get done each day and work furiously at them so that I could then be done and relax with 'non-busy' mind.

Somehow, this reminded me of the old Seinfeld episode. Serenity now!

Gassho,
Juki

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PlZvY_LXJco

[Geika]

Work is never done! Might as well have peace anyway.

[RichardH]

It looks like there is no getting to just sitting. because we are already there.... but not somehow. Something is held back. I struggled a long time until getting fed up enough to just sit. No one could show me, or help, I had to get fed up with my own games and the whole thing. Then I could wiggle my toes, smell dinner cooking, with thoughts about this and that...and games too, coming an going. Some muscle I couldn't see relaxed, and thoughts and feelings were rolling along by themselves, along with “me”.

Practice goes on, but life is better, even thought it is not about getting anything. Yesterday I was walking along a busy street and tripped up on loop of wire. I came down hard with my hands stuck in my pockets, and landed in the filthy leftovers of a snowbank. I laid on my back like a turtle with cigarette butts and bits of gravel stuck to my face....and it sucked. It just sucked. It was simple and no problem. Right now I'm eating a banana chocolate chip muffin and a coffee. It's a really tasty muffin.

Maybe a pointless post, but it feels good to post it.

I wish I would have encountered a teacher like Jundo 25 years ago, who can dance and point with so much humor and warmth, but maybe there is no shortcut to working through what needs to be worked through. We all have different karma.

Gassho Daizan

[Matt]

Somehow, this reminded me of the old Seinfeld episode. Serenity now!

Yes, Juki!

Thanks, Jundo, for the encouragement.

Daizan, I really liked your post.

Gassho,
Matt J

[Kyonin]

Thoughts come in a whirlwind that carries me away most of the times. It takes practice and determination to just sit until one day you realize there is no point on struggle with thoughts.

They come and go and suddenly you find yourself looking at them from afar.

Don't push. Don't rush and quit asking, looking for answers.

Thoughts, memories and fantasies are not you. They just drift away.

Gassho,

Kyonin

[Joyo]

Great post, lots of helpful comments. Thank you everyone!!

Gassho,
Joyo

[Taigu]

And of course, thoughts are also the very body of the Dharmakaya.
In order to see this one needs to drop any kind of understanding and any judgement.
The Zen that Dogen taught and practiced teaches that tiles can become mirrors Painted cakes are tasty and flowers in the sky are the true face.

Gassho


Taigu

[Guest]

[Entai]

And of course, thoughts are also the very body of the Dharmakaya.
In order to see this one needs to drop any kind of understanding and any judgement.
The Zen that Dogen taught and practiced teaches that tiles can become mirrors Painted cakes are tasty and flowers in the sky are the true face.

Gassho


Taigu

Deep bows,
Entai

[anzan]

[shikantazen]

Thank you all, useful thread. Gassho

[Yugen]

"Understanding" or trying to work stuff out is the affliction. Not knowing is a good place to be. Racing thoughts are all part of the deal. Thinking one must stop them in order to sit is to depart from practice. As Taigu says so well, thoughts themselves are the body of the Dharmakaya - the true self of the Buddha within us all.

To understand yet not understand
is transcendence
not to understand yet understand
is affliction
the reason the sage is not afflicted
is because he treats affliction as affliction
hence he is not afflicted

Tao Te Ching (71)

Deep bows
Yugen

[dharmasponge]

Thanks all for your replies. Much to 'think' about! I'd have got back earlier to say thanks but Tapatalk wasn't sending me notifications... _/|\_

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