Cannot ignore thought...

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  • Matt
    Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 497

    #16
    Thanks, Tony, for bringing up this question and to those who answered. Reading through has been helpful for me.

    Recently, I became aware of a tendency in myself to cling to some future point at which I could then realize a non-busy mind. Specifically, the time when I would clear all of the difficult tasks at work (and at home, at times), and only then would I be in a place to be more equinimitous. I would identify all of the tasks I needed to get done each day and work furiously at them so that I could then be done and relax with 'non-busy' mind.

    Earlier this week, however, the work tasks kept coming and I just could not get on top of them all, and I suppose I reached a breaking point. At this time of being most busy, I realized that there was no way I could possibly accomplish everything that needed to get done that day (or which I told myself needed to get done) in order for me to be at peace.

    And that in fact I was clinging, I think, to some future state of completeness.

    Weirdly, at that place of being most overwhelmed, I felt myself spontaneously relax, like my body and mind had reached a breaking point and just had to let go.

    I also reminded myself of what Jundo has often said, such as here about 'dropping all demands of how things must be.' And that 'silence is found in the greatest noise.' Which is pretty much the opposite of what I had thought zen would be when I started practicing several years ago.

    Deep bows,
    Matt J

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    • Jundo
      Treeleaf Founder and Priest
      • Apr 2006
      • 40263

      #17
      Congrats Matt.

      Seems like you got one great task done.

      Gassho, J
      ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

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      • Juki
        Member
        • Dec 2012
        • 771

        #18
        Originally posted by Matt
        I would identify all of the tasks I needed to get done each day and work furiously at them so that I could then be done and relax with 'non-busy' mind.
        Somehow, this reminded me of the old Seinfeld episode. Serenity now!

        Gassho,
        Juki


        Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
        "First you have to give up." Tyler Durden

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        • Geika
          Treeleaf Unsui
          • Jan 2010
          • 4982

          #19
          Work is never done! Might as well have peace anyway.
          求道芸化 Kyūdō Geika
          I am just a priest-in-training, please do not take anything I say as a teaching.

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          • RichardH
            Member
            • Nov 2011
            • 2800

            #20
            It looks like there is no getting to just sitting. because we are already there.... but not somehow. Something is held back. I struggled a long time until getting fed up enough to just sit. No one could show me, or help, I had to get fed up with my own games and the whole thing. Then I could wiggle my toes, smell dinner cooking, with thoughts about this and that...and games too, coming an going. Some muscle I couldn't see relaxed, and thoughts and feelings were rolling along by themselves, along with “me”.

            Practice goes on, but life is better, even thought it is not about getting anything. Yesterday I was walking along a busy street and tripped up on loop of wire. I came down hard with my hands stuck in my pockets, and landed in the filthy leftovers of a snowbank. I laid on my back like a turtle with cigarette butts and bits of gravel stuck to my face....and it sucked. It just sucked. It was simple and no problem. Right now I'm eating a banana chocolate chip muffin and a coffee. It's a really tasty muffin.

            Maybe a pointless post, but it feels good to post it.

            I wish I would have encountered a teacher like Jundo 25 years ago, who can dance and point with so much humor and warmth, but maybe there is no shortcut to working through what needs to be worked through. We all have different karma.

            Gassho Daizan

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            • Matt
              Member
              • Oct 2012
              • 497

              #21
              Somehow, this reminded me of the old Seinfeld episode. Serenity now!
              Yes, Juki!

              Thanks, Jundo, for the encouragement.

              Daizan, I really liked your post.

              Gassho,
              Matt J

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              • Kyonin
                Treeleaf Priest / Engineer
                • Oct 2010
                • 6746

                #22
                Thoughts come in a whirlwind that carries me away most of the times. It takes practice and determination to just sit until one day you realize there is no point on struggle with thoughts.

                They come and go and suddenly you find yourself looking at them from afar.

                Don't push. Don't rush and quit asking, looking for answers.

                Thoughts, memories and fantasies are not you. They just drift away.

                Gassho,

                Kyonin
                Hondō Kyōnin
                奔道 協忍

                Comment

                • Joyo

                  #23
                  Great post, lots of helpful comments. Thank you everyone!!

                  Gassho,
                  Joyo

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                  • Taigu
                    Blue Mountain White Clouds Hermitage Priest
                    • Aug 2008
                    • 2710

                    #24
                    And of course, thoughts are also the very body of the Dharmakaya.
                    In order to see this one needs to drop any kind of understanding and any judgement.
                    The Zen that Dogen taught and practiced teaches that tiles can become mirrors Painted cakes are tasty and flowers in the sky are the true face.

                    Gassho


                    Taigu

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                    • Guest

                      #25

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                      • Entai
                        Member
                        • Jan 2013
                        • 451

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Taigu
                        And of course, thoughts are also the very body of the Dharmakaya.
                        In order to see this one needs to drop any kind of understanding and any judgement.
                        The Zen that Dogen taught and practiced teaches that tiles can become mirrors Painted cakes are tasty and flowers in the sky are the true face.

                        Gassho


                        Taigu
                        Deep bows,
                        Entai

                        泰 Entai (Bill)
                        "this is not a dress rehearsal"

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                        • anzan
                          Member
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 17

                          #27

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                          • shikantazen
                            Member
                            • Feb 2013
                            • 361

                            #28
                            Thank you all, useful thread. Gassho

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                            • Yugen

                              #29
                              "Understanding" or trying to work stuff out is the affliction. Not knowing is a good place to be. Racing thoughts are all part of the deal. Thinking one must stop them in order to sit is to depart from practice. As Taigu says so well, thoughts themselves are the body of the Dharmakaya - the true self of the Buddha within us all.

                              To understand yet not understand
                              is transcendence
                              not to understand yet understand
                              is affliction
                              the reason the sage is not afflicted
                              is because he treats affliction as affliction
                              hence he is not afflicted

                              Tao Te Ching (71)

                              Deep bows
                              Yugen
                              Last edited by Guest; 03-29-2014, 11:54 PM.

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                              • dharmasponge
                                Member
                                • Oct 2013
                                • 278

                                #30
                                Thanks all for your replies. Much to 'think' about! I'd have got back earlier to say thanks but Tapatalk wasn't sending me notifications... _/|\_

                                Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk
                                Sat today

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