Sitting through grief

[William]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I've lost pets, and find that it feels the same to lose a pet as it does any other human. I hope you find peace soon.

Gassho,

William


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[Jinyo]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughtful advice. I'm kind of self-conscious about talking about how I feel about my dogs, since many - maybe most - folks are confused or dismissive of the strength of the bond. So I really appreciate all the metta and condolences even though my friends weren't human. Pain is pain, as far as I can tell.

Deep gashho,

Eric/Shoho

Hello Eric - sorry for your loss.

I think most of us here are animal lovers and have a strong emotional bond with our pets.

The grief we feel on losing a pet can feel overwhelming. Our present cat is our ninth and each time we've lost one of our furry friends we felt we could never
bear to have another. But somehow the pain heals - the pets we lose stay in our hearts for ever and then another little creature enters our lives and we find there is always room in the heart for more love.

Take care,

Willow

[Myozan Kodo]

Eric,
Much Metta to you. Take care.
Myozan


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[Hans]

Hello Eric,

I know that feeling too well, but the longer we practise raw, like Taigu puts it, the more we have a chance to see that we too share the exact same nature as that which we think "we" lost.
There will always be pain, but with time we might be able to abandon a self-centered pain and awaken into a vast embracing pain that still has us shed tears, but that doesn't turn away anymore.

Vast is the robe of liberation.
Some others might say Allahu Akbar.


Let's us never shy away from saying and expressing I love you whilst we still can, during the physical manifestation of our loved ones.


Gassho,

Hans Chudo Mongen

[Fugu]

Eric,

During the course of two short years I had a serious accident, lost my job and my husband left me. I had to put all 4 of my horses down. Then, a 15 year old boy poisoned my four big, beautiful dogs, one by one. He admitted it and bragged about it to everybody in town. But, since he was 15, he could not be charged without both his parent's permission. So nothing was done. This culminated in a suicide attempt which was very nearly successful.

For years I was in shock. I just couldn't believe it. But, as time went by, I began to really look at my feelings and figure out what is was about them that made me love them so. I said "Lee, what do you really believe in?" I worked my way thru religion, philosophy, cosmology and neuroscience and what finally came out was simple: I believe in dogs. I believe in looking into a dog's (or horses) eyes and seeing the awareness of that void look back at you. And you know you are not alone.

I thought about the characteristics and qualities that had made them so special. I realized that if those qualities had meant so much to me, maybe I could encourage the same ones in me, and be able to then give them to other people, as the dogs had given to me.

There is no easy answer to this. You will hurt. I can only quote Dr. Suess: "Don't cry because it is gone, smile because it happened."

Gassho,

Lee

[Jundo]

Eric,

During the course of two short years I had a serious accident, lost my job and my husband left me. I had to put all 4 of my horses down. Then, a 15 year old boy poisoned my four big, beautiful dogs, one by one. He admitted it and bragged about it to everybody in town. But, since he was 15, he could not be charged without both his parent's permission. So nothing was done. This culminated in a suicide attempt which was very nearly successful.

For years I was in shock. I just couldn't believe it. But, as time went by, I began to really look at my feelings and figure out what is was about them that made me love them so. I said "Lee, what do you really believe in?" I worked my way thru religion, philosophy, cosmology and neuroscience and what finally came out was simple: I believe in dogs. I believe in looking into a dog's (or horses) eyes and seeing the awareness of that void look back at you. And you know you are not alone.

I thought about the characteristics and qualities that had made them so special. I realized that if those qualities had meant so much to me, maybe I could encourage the same ones in me, and be able to then give them to other people, as the dogs had given to me.

There is no easy answer to this. You will hurt. I can only quote Dr. Suess: "Don't cry because it is gone, smile because it happened."

Gassho,

Lee

... Oh my ...

[Ongen]

Gassho,Llee and Eric

[Amelia]

Metta for everyone in this thread.

[Joyo]

Eric,

During the course of two short years I had a serious accident, lost my job and my husband left me. I had to put all 4 of my horses down. Then, a 15 year old boy poisoned my four big, beautiful dogs, one by one. He admitted it and bragged about it to everybody in town. But, since he was 15, he could not be charged without both his parent's permission. So nothing was done. This culminated in a suicide attempt which was very nearly successful.

For years I was in shock. I just couldn't believe it. But, as time went by, I began to really look at my feelings and figure out what is was about them that made me love them so. I said "Lee, what do you really believe in?" I worked my way thru religion, philosophy, cosmology and neuroscience and what finally came out was simple: I believe in dogs. I believe in looking into a dog's (or horses) eyes and seeing the awareness of that void look back at you. And you know you are not alone.

I thought about the characteristics and qualities that had made them so special. I realized that if those qualities had meant so much to me, maybe I could encourage the same ones in me, and be able to then give them to other people, as the dogs had given to me.

There is no easy answer to this. You will hurt. I can only quote Dr. Suess: "Don't cry because it is gone, smile because it happened."

Gassho,

Lee

Much metta, I admire your strength.

Gassho,
Joyo

[Docjeff]

I too feel that sense of loss with you. There is much taught about the stages of grief. Those stages, defined and anticipated only bind us to time. The reality is that we all grieve differently. Do not expect to grieve as others. Only you truly know what is being felt deep within your being. Your precious companions though absent to your natural eyes, are still very much alive in you. Celebrate their being. Allow memories and thoughts of their presence, not their absence. All here, it is apparent, love and respect all life. I am enriched by all that has been written. I hope I have been of some help.


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[Rezdogdad]

Eric,

During the course of two short years I had a serious accident, lost my job and my husband left me. I had to put all 4 of my horses down. Then, a 15 year old boy poisoned my four big, beautiful dogs, one by one. He admitted it and bragged about it to everybody in town. But, since he was 15, he could not be charged without both his parent's permission. So nothing was done. This culminated in a suicide attempt which was very nearly successful.

For years I was in shock. I just couldn't believe it. But, as time went by, I began to really look at my feelings and figure out what is was about them that made me love them so. I said "Lee, what do you really believe in?" I worked my way thru religion, philosophy, cosmology and neuroscience and what finally came out was simple: I believe in dogs. I believe in looking into a dog's (or horses) eyes and seeing the awareness of that void look back at you. And you know you are not alone.

I thought about the characteristics and qualities that had made them so special. I realized that if those qualities had meant so much to me, maybe I could encourage the same ones in me, and be able to then give them to other people, as the dogs had given to me.

There is no easy answer to this. You will hurt. I can only quote Dr. Suess: "Don't cry because it is gone, smile because it happened."

Gassho,

Lee

Thank you, Lee, for sharing your story. It helps to know I'm not alone.

[Heion]

Much metta to you. I was sitting with grief earlier. Letting wounds come to the surface that I had long buried under. I noticed that desire for things to be a certain way was causing friction with my life and was what left a state of unhappiness. I know that if I can just give it all up, and let it go, then the mind no longer carries the weight of these burdens. Recently, I have been practicing a lot of yoga and it has helped me see things through a different scope and really heals me in a way. Music is also very therapeutic for me. I do not know if you have a medium of expression which can help you through this time..

Most of these responses are already great. I do not know if Jundo has anything more to add on to this post.

With metta,
Alex