Hi Stephanie,
It sounds like the question is your problem, not the answer, so why not just drop the question? Are you familiar with MN 63., the Cula-Malunkyovada Sutta? If not, it might be worth having a look at.
http://www.mettanet.org/tipitaka/2Sutta ... ta-e2.html
Gassho
Ken
I'm basically happy with my life as it is. And yet... there's this feeling that something is missing, and it's this connection with whatever the "why" question is pointing me to. Again, I certainly find it plausible that this is just some sort of brain-hiccup, but it persists nonetheless.
http://www.mettanet.org/tipitaka/2Sutta ... ta-e2.html
Gassho
Ken
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