Meditation/advice for a big life decision

[pinoybuddhist]

Well try not to worry too much BUT when worried understand that that's worried buddha right there... not separate from not worried buddha. It's like when thoughts come in zazen and you let them come and go. Same w/ big decisions. You think it through and worry, but at some point...

Gassho,
Rafael

[Rich]

At your deathbed, what will you think?

The answer.

Gassho,

JC

Holy Shit, my whole life was nothing but my deathbed.

[Shokai]

In every decision there is a 50/50 chance of being right!

gassho

[Kyonin]

I have come to this crossroad many times before.

And whenever I struggle to desperately find an answer, the worst decisions I took.

Just sit and drop everything.

Gassho,

Kyonin

[Jishin]

At my deathbed I would think:

What a waste. Spending all that time with family. Could have made more money. Been more important. Been a CEO. 3 houses. Etc.

Or not.

Gassho, JC ;-).

[Shohei]

Hi
Chiming in late on this but as said there is nothing to use here to help you. Just have to weigh it out.
This stuff comes along and its tough but some times tough decisions are made with your input (lose your job/ lose a loved one!)
Scarry stuff. So baring that the only thing i can share is my useless opinion from where I stand

Its about balance in this case, (balance is not perfect by the way )
and what degree fits your needs.

Note, Needs. Family is my practice and why I go to work. So I have had it put to me by others, do not jump ship its a good job and it would be hard to provide for you family. True!
That said if it costs me my family... its not a good job. What do we need vs what do we want.

Sorry I have no solutions for you! It will work itself out I know.

Gassho
Shohei

[Jundo]

Oh, gee. What if I get hit by a bus and don't have time to think about it? Wouldn't that be a waste of all that deathbed preparation!

Anyway, deathbed or no does not matter. Living this moment and between now and the deathbed is what matters.

It would be lovely if ya could thread the needle ... head to Alaska, be with mom and dad, and find a video game project that does not involve killing people! I am not saying that working on a violent video game is the same as actually killing real people to be with mom and dad (even mafia hit men have parents), but it would be better all ways round if possible.

My steps to making a decision ... some of it Zen Practice, some just common sense ...

People sometimes ask me if it is always wise to follow one's heart and intuition, whether Zazen will help one listen to one's heart better, and whether doing so will always lead us to the "right way to go".

Well, certainly. in sitting quietly ... the storm of thoughts and emotions settled and still ... we may hear our heart better, come to resolution on a choice.

However, personally, when possible for a 'big decision' (an example of such a time was when my family and I were considering whether to live in Japan or in the US, but it could be any big life decision), I first like to gather as much information and options as possible, ask some expert or experienced folks for opinions, list up the "pros" and "cons" ... then sit with it on the Zafu dropping all thoughts and emotions in Shikantaza ... then think about it some more later in the day ...

In the end, however, there comes a time when one can start to over-think the situation, think up endless variables and "what if's", and the mind cannot make a choice. At that time, the best course after doing the above is ... stick one's finger in the wind to see which way the wind blows, drop the thinking and further analyzing in a "Shikantaza" way, find a bit of quiet and spaciousness within ... (then maybe rise from the cushion and think about it a little more!) ... but then finally once and for all, throw a finger in the air and make a choice ... follow one's heart and JUMP! (Or, follow one's heart and stay where one is, also an option ).

And in doing so ... more times than not ... it turns out okay or much better than okay. Not always. :shock:

So, will following intuition ... and sitting all the Zazen in the world ... always lead you to the "Right Choice"? YES! .... EXCEPT WHEN IT DOES NOT!

But, that is when Zen Practice also offers a good bit of Wisdom:

When coming to a crossroads, TAKE IT! Go right or left (unless staying put ). Then, just be there and move on. If one ended up taking a bumpy road instead of the smooth road intended ... just be there and move on. At the next crossroads, which is ever right underfoot ... repeat above process! One may discover that one made the right choice or the wrong, got to one's objective or got lost. You will probably find you end up where never expected. However, it is always the RIGHT CHOICE ... for it is the RIGHT WHERE ONE NOW IS CHOICE. Move on from here.

Also, this on Right Livelihood, from our Buddha-Basics series ...

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?7713-Buddha-Basics-%28Part-VIII%29-%C2%97-Working-Right

Gassho, J

[Jakudo]

There are no answers found in Zazen and I suspect you know your answer already. In the words of another Zen practitioner "Everybody knows".
Gassho, Shawn.

[sandworm]

Thank you everyone. I decided (for the first time in my life) to say no. While at first it was a business issue, the question of right livelihood became a big one for me, and ultimately, I decided I don't want to be associated with that kind of violence. I'll find another way home.

Interestingly, I feel 100% better now that I've made this decision. Perhaps it was weighing on my subconscious more than I realized.

Many thanks again everyone, and happy holidays, whatever you're celebrating.

[Jishin]

Glad to see you made the right decision right. Or wrong decision right. Or wrong decision wrong. Or right and wrong decisions, at once.

Gassho, JC :-).