Meditation/advice for a big life decision

[sandworm]

Friends,

I don't post much yet, but I have found great wisdom and support here, and I'd like to ask the sangha for help.

I have a major life decision before me. One choice would lead me close to my family, but would be riskier career-wise (and I have a slight question about right livelihood). The other choice is far from home, but a much more stable career path.

Is there any sort of zen meditation I can do that might help me arrive at the right decision? Is there anyone who might give me some Buddhist advice about all this?

Thank you everyone for your support.
Duane

[Taigu]

Hi Duane,

There is unfortunately ( or fortunately) not a single special meditation or practice to help you taking an important decision. Zen is USELESS. IT IS A WASTE OF TIME ( from the end-gaining agenda and viewpoint).
What is more important to you, Money, safety or family? cash or love? Follow your bliss and leave Zen out of the equation.
Something like that. Maybe neither nor is also to be considered.

Whatever decision you take,it is yours and it is the good one, even if it appears to be the bad one after a while.

Take care and chill out

Gassho


Taigu

[pinoybuddhist]

Taigu is right. Ain't no such thing. Maybe sitting in zazen may still your mind enough so as to make it easier for you to arrive at a clearheaded decision - but still you can only arrive at that point when you get off the cushion and make a decision. In other words, you can only decide by deciding - not by doing some "special thing".

If you haven't done so, I suggest listing down the pros and cons of each option. It will help you weigh things clearly. But even this is ultimately no help - you will still need to decide for yourself.

Gassho,

Rafael

[Rich]

You can consider and think about things but at some point you must put it all down and just sit. Correct action just appears. Then you have to sit even more because every time something negative happens related to that action you are going to question yourself. Just this is enough, where reality appears, a place of 100% confidence and ease in the middle of uncertainty and not knowing anything.

[Taigu]

Rich,

In the dokusan room, you are a winner.

In real life, forget about it...


And once more, why do you answer the question and not the question behind the question?


Gassho


T.

[Taigu]

And On top of all this you are feeding spiritual materialism.

Zen practice is not an answer!!!

It is a question!


Gassho


Taigu

[Mp]

Duane,

For me, the question answers itself. Family is more important then material or financial gain. Family will always be there for you, but that car or nice pair of shoes will not.

Hope this helps.

Gassho
Michael

[sandworm]

Thank you everyone.

Michael, I totally agree with you, and in this case, I'd be bringing my wife and son back to Alaska where my parents live (and I have a nice house). Problem is I'd be working on a particularly violent video game about school kids shooting each other. Not sure I want to be a part of that, no matter how much money it makes.

I've got a great offer from Intel, but we would have to stay in Arizona. Stability, insurance, etc, but distant family.

It's a toughie.

[Taigu]

Why should we bother answer this???

a suffering man trapped in what?

Give me a rest.


T.


PS: ...

[Nindo]

I feel with you Duane. I moved around a lot, and every time was a huge decision, of course involving loved ones as well.
I wasted a lot of one sesshin over the question whether to move to Canada. There was no answer. There was, however, an overwhelming feeling of compassion for my husband and wanting to support him whatever it would take. So we went and started from scratch. It was hard. Four years later the city we left was destroyed by an earthquake. Does that tell me it was the right decision? No.
Are you looking for the universe to nod and say "you chose well"? Forget about it.

So, it will all be in your heart and your core values. Michael said "family". I say "right livelihood" and "sunshine". How does that help? I bet it doesn't.
I remember my Dad said, when I was agonizing for an hour on the phone, "look at where you want [your career? your life?] to go; and then take a leap".
Good luck, and take care.

[Risho]

Hi Duane,

There is unfortunately ( or fortunately) not a single special meditation or practice to help you taking an important decision. Zen is USELESS. IT IS A WASTE OF TIME ( from the end-gaining agenda and viewpoint).
What is more important to you, Money, safety or family? cash or love? Follow your bliss and leave Zen out of the equation.
Something like that. Maybe neither nor is also to be considered.

Whatever decision you take,it is yours and it is the good one, even if it appears to be the bad one after a while.

Take care and chill out

Gassho


Taigu

Thank you for this reminder... I catch myself trying to glean something from my practice.


I agree with Nindo.. It's actually something I did about 7 years ago moving to Florida. Sometimes you just gotta do something, but you have to take the chance. Unfortunately I've never found a magic bullet.

Gassho,

Risho

[Daitetsu]

Hi Duane,

Perhaps this is a bit oversimplified, but money can't bring back the time you missed with your family...

Gassho,

Timo

[Rich]

Rich,

In the dokusan room, you are a winner.

In real life, forget about it...


And once more, why do you answer the question and not the question behind the question?


Gassho


T.

You got that right. What is the question behind the question?

[sandworm]

Thank you everyone. Your words have helped me overcome the deep stress I felt at making such a big decision like this which would have a huge effect on not only myself but my wife and baby.

Taigu, your words did help me realize for a moment the emptiness of my own suffering about this issue, but I don't know how not to worry when my actions will affect the lives of others. Any advice on reconciling compassion with concern when it comes to other people?

In any case, I did make a decision, and you guys were a part of it. Thank you so much everyone for your support.

[Jishin]

At your deathbed, what will you think?

The answer.

Gassho,

JC