Ear Worms in Zazen

[ZenJay]

Good morning,
I just had a quick question for everyone. Being a musician all my life, I usually have a soundtrack playing in my mind throughout the day. Lately I’ve been noticing it creeping into my Zazen, and while I try to open the hand of sound (so to speak, or is it close the ear?) I’m finding it difficult. Do I just sit with the soundtrack playing and try not to pay attention to it, just like thoughts and emotions? I find letting these clouds pass is sometimes quite difficult for some reason…

Gassho,

Jay
Sat/Lah today

[Jundo]

Do I just sit with the soundtrack playing and try not to pay attention to it, just like thoughts and emotions?

Yes.

Gassho, J

stlah

[Onki]

Hi Jay,

Please take what I say with a grain of salt as I am a Priest in Training.

In my personal experience with Zazen I also have background noise in my mind all day, such as an internal dialogue that never quits. Often, this inner dialogue is critical, judgemental, angry, and afraid. This poses a challenge for me when I sit as things can either go two ways. The first way would be for me to listen and follow the script, believing everything that this voice is telling me to be Truth without questioning or being curious as to WHY this voice says the things that it does. The second way, which is what I try to do, is to acknowledge the inner dialogue, do not push it away (I find when I do push it away it becomes louder and louder, pulling me down into a spiral of negative thinking). Be gentle and curious. Do not judge this part as judgement is not helpful. Breathe in and out slowly. Sometimes when I get tangled up in this voice I need to breathe and refocus on a few breaths. Once that is done, carry on sitting. When it comes up again, because it always does, same thing - No judgement, no pushing away, breathe.

I tell myself that if I spend 30 minutes sitting Zazen and 25 of those minutes are spent drowning in the voice inside of my mind while the remaining 5 minutes are focusing on non-focus, then I have succeeded. For me, the intention in my heart and actually sitting are what matters.

I hope this helps.

Gasshō,

On

sat today/LAH

[Kaisho]

I find that my mind often chews on things as I sit often in the mornings and evenings. I agree with what Onki said in that even if I find a little zazen among the monkey latching on to one thing or another that it's been a good time. Also I know we aren't supposed to judge our zazen so as long as I am coming back to the cushion and taking refuge that might be enough.

Gassho,
Kaisho
SATLaH

[Bion]

Hi, Jay!
My work introduces plenty ear worms. Here’s my approach: break the pattern before you sit! I’m gonna repeat myself slightly, but.. preparation helps! If the mind is really busy before sitting, those moments of preparation, bowing, arranging of the body, all contribute to creating the space for the sit. Of course, once we are sitting we can stop worrying.
Master Keizan mentioned, as an advice in case the mind doesn’t settle during zazen, to focus on a gatha or sutra. Well, that trick actually can help BEFORE sitting. What I used to do sometimes, as I was adjusting myself for sitting, while swaying and stretching, is recite this gatha:

“Sitting here is like sitting under the bodhi tree
My body itself is mindfulness
Completely free from distractions.”

That was always helpful to break patterns and help me prepare for sitting. Maybe you can give that a try before sitting!

Gassho
sat and lah

[Kotei]

Hello,
for me it sometimes helps to "compose" an end melody to the loop in my head to make it rest, to end the loop. Sometimes ;-).

And I believe that all of this is Zazen. It is not that Zazen are only the calm moments of peace and bliss.
There is no need to make the ear worm or the thoughts stop in order to make it good Zazen. Again and again returning to open awareness when I catch myself tangling up.
Actually, not wanting them to go away does the trick for me.
Although there is no goal and all Zazen is good Zazen, I feel those times of wrestling with thoughts or impatience are the ones that teach me the most.

Just my 2cents,
Gassho,
Kotei sat/lah today.

[Bion]

Hello,
for me it sometimes helps to "compose" an end melody to the loop in my head to make it rest, to end the loop. Sometimes ;-).

Ooooh! I’m sold! End the loop with the last 8 bars! Brilliant

gassho
sat and lah

[Matt Johnson]

I think a solution was suggested in a Seinfeld episode when George claimed the best way to stop a song from looping in your head was to sing the Gilette jingle in your head. "By.....Menen!"

A mantra could also work...

Or just let it play and look at the feeling of being annoyed...

_/\_

sat/ah

Matt

[ZenJay]

Yes.

Gassho, J

stlah

I will sit with the Costello… thank you Roshi!

Gassho,
Jay

Sat/Lah today

[ZenJay]

The second way, which is what I try to do, is to acknowledge the inner dialogue, do not push it away (I find when I do push it away it becomes louder and louder, pulling me down into a spiral of negative thinking). Be gentle and curious. Do not judge this part as judgement is not helpful. Breathe in and out slowly. Sometimes when I get tangled up in this voice I need to breathe and refocus on a few breaths. Once that is done, carry on sitting. When it comes up again, because it always does, same thing - No judgement, no pushing away, breathe.

I tell myself that if I spend 30 minutes sitting Zazen and 25 of those minutes are spent drowning in the voice inside of my mind while the remaining 5 minutes are focusing on non-focus, then I have succeeded. For me, the intention in my heart and actually sitting are what matters.

I hope this helps.

Gasshō,

On

sat today/LAH

Hi Onki,

it does actually, thank you! I need to remember to approach gently. I tend to get a little frustrated with it at times which makes me want to force it to stop, which only makes it louder. I will try to just let it be (and try not to get that stuck in my head now ) Thank you for the advice and perspective!

Gassho,

Jay
Sat/Lah today

[Jundo]

I tell myself that if I spend 30 minutes sitting Zazen and 25 of those minutes are spent drowning in the voice inside of my mind while the remaining 5 minutes are focusing on non-focus, then I have succeeded. For me, the intention in my heart and actually sitting are what matters.

Lovely.

I know you know this, but we also come to know that the blue sky of clarity was fully present, clouds or no clouds (of thoughts, ear worms etc.) the whole timeless 30 minutes. It is not that the 5 minutes is good Zazen, and the 25 minutes was bad Zazen leading to the 5 minutes. When the sky is hidden, we just trust it is there, pay "no nevermind" to the clouds, don't jump on or stir them up. When the clouds clear and the sky is seen, the sky is there too, no more no less than before.

Gassho, Jundo
stlah

[ZenJay]

Hi, Jay!
My work introduces plenty ear worms. Here’s my approach: break the pattern before you sit! I’m gonna repeat myself slightly, but.. preparation helps! If the mind is really busy before sitting, those moments of preparation, bowing, arranging of the body, all contribute to creating the space for the sit. Of course, once we are sitting we can stop worrying.
Master Keizan mentioned, as an advice in case the mind doesn’t settle during zazen, to focus on a gatha or sutra. Well, that trick actually can help BEFORE sitting. What I used to do sometimes, as I was adjusting myself for sitting, while swaying and stretching, is recite this gatha:

“Sitting here is like sitting under the bodhi tree
My body itself is mindfulness
Completely free from distractions.”

That was always helpful to break patterns and help me prepare for sitting. Maybe you can give that a try before sitting!

Gassho
sat and lah

Hi Bion!

That is a beautiful way to settle… I’m going to make that part of my practice! Thank you!

Gassho,

Jay

Sat/Lah today

[ZenJay]

Hello,
for me it sometimes helps to "compose" an end melody to the loop in my head to make it rest, to end the loop. Sometimes ;-).

And I believe that all of this is Zazen. It is not that Zazen are only the calm moments of peace and bliss.
There is no need to make the ear worm or the thoughts stop in order to make it good Zazen. Again and again returning to open awareness when I catch myself tangling up.
Actually, not wanting them to go away does the trick for me.
Although there is no goal and all Zazen is good Zazen, I feel those times of wrestling with thoughts or impatience are the ones that teach me the most.

Just my 2cents,
Gassho,
Kotei sat/lah today.

Hi Kotei,
I absolutely love that idea! If I find that the music is repeating I’m going to give that a try! What a creative and excellent suggestion, thank you!
You also make a good point about learning from the stormy Zazen… like Jundo says above, I need to keep in mind that it’s all good Zazen. I guess I find myself judging myself when it comes to my practice. Got to let that go too…

Gassho,

Jay
Sat/lah today

[Onki]

Lovely.

I know you know this, but we also come to know that the blue sky of clarity was fully present, clouds or no clouds (of thoughts, ear worms etc.) the whole timeless 30 minutes. It is not that the 5 minutes is good Zazen, and the 25 minutes was bad Zazen leading to the 5 minutes. When the sky is hidden, we just trust it is there, pay "no nevermind" to the clouds, don't jump on or stir them up. When the clouds clear and the sky is seen, the sky is there too, no more no less than before.

Gassho, Jundo
stlah

Thank you, dear Teacher, for this reminder . Despite the blue sky being full of clouds, rain, or snow, behind these is still the blue sky. It has always been there no matter what and it will continue to be right here.

A beautiful reminder.

Gasshō,

On

sat today/lah

[Onki]

Hi Onki,

it does actually, thank you! I need to remember to approach gently. I tend to get a little frustrated with it at times which makes me want to force it to stop, which only makes it louder. I will try to just let it be (and try not to get that stuck in my head now ) Thank you for the advice and perspective!

Gassho,

Jay
Sat/Lah today

Hi Jay,

So happy to help! Yes, frustration comes up as well when your brain doesn’t want to do what you want it to do, but that’s what the mind does.

Instead of getting mad and frustrated, try being gentle and curious with yourself. It takes Practice (see what I did there? ).
Breathe.
Refocus.
Carry on.

As Jundo said, the blue sky is always there among the clouds.

Gasshō,

On

sat today/lah