Violence and self-defense

[Ekai]

There is the flip side to this that men can mindful of. For example, if a man is walking down a dark street late at night, and you see a woman walking toward you.. cross over to the other side, and spare her the anxiety. There is a sense of physical safety that men take for granted in most situations... and we can be oblivious to what it is like to feel unsafe.

Gassho, kojip

Great chivalry! That's a very nice suggestion. I will have to tell my husband that one. He is a very big guy and can look intimidating at times without intending to be.

Gassho,
Ekai

[Dosho]

For women, it's best to avoid situations that potentially can put you in danger. Being aware of your surroundings, trusting your intuition and projecting confidence are important actions to avoid being attacked. If you can walk away or talk your way out of it, great. If not, well do what you need to do to get away safely.

Would you not give this same advice to a man Ekai?

[Ekai]

Would you not give this same advice to a man Ekai?

Yes, sorry Dosho. This applies to both men and women.

Gassho,
Ekai

[BobSpour]

Hi Lisa

I am new to the forum but have been involved in both teaching and studying the martial arts and Self Protection since 1966. As a practicing Buddhist I feel it is important to resolve confrontations through Dialogue or even better Avoidance.
If it does have to get physical this would be as a last resort and should be approached with the correct intent. I teach Muay Thai as my main martial art but have been involved in Traditional Shotokan and Goju Ryu Karate. None of these will help in a physical confrontation! I know this may seem like an odd thing to say but the longer I have practiced the "martial arts" I have realised that they have less to do with fighting and more the student about learning some fancy moves. Very few people can make these martaial arts 'work' and in fact those that do are rare. Those that do never needed the martial arts anyway and were gifted with a powerful set of mental tools. Tools that allow them to be decisive and aggressive with little thought for personal safety. In fact it is these attributes that make them successful.

Knowing this, through personal study and real life experiences I teach my students to develop high states of awareness. For myself I have found Zazen the most useful. Through sitting we learn to simply be. I found that this could be extended into a general mindfulness when on the move. Allowing me to be casually aware of my environment, others and my own internal processes. Being in the moment.Many of my students having used this have said how much more confident they have felt and this in turn apparently makes them a 'hard target'. Most attacks are opportunistic and the attacker will single out a victim dependant upon their appearance.Do they look scared, does their physiology betray their fear? You very rarely find a predator attacking the most confident animal in the herd. Just the opposite. There are many ways you can develop this Awareness and I would be more than happy to help anyone with these issues if they are interested in these methods. PM me and I would gladly help.
Incidentally the few violent encounters I have been involved in were those I chose to get involved in. Others were being assaulted and I felt they needed my help. I did not attack with anger but feigned aggression. I have learned that anger/aggression is of no use and often leaves you with moral issues after the event. You end up beating yourself up after the event!!! Not good! I have worked with many victims of physical assault over the years to great effect...quite a few of them were high ranking martial artists who had a very bad experience with the efficacy of their chosen art.

Sorry to ramble on but as well as Soto Zen my other distraction is Self Protection!

Gassho

Bob

[Ekai]

Hi Lisa

I am new to the forum but have been involved in both teaching and studying the martial arts and Self Protection since 1966. As a practicing Buddhist I feel it is important to resolve confrontations through Dialogue or even better Avoidance.
If it does have to get physical this would be as a last resort and should be approached with the correct intent. I teach Muay Thai as my main martial art but have been involved in Traditional Shotokan and Goju Ryu Karate. None of these will help in a physical confrontation! I know this may seem like an odd thing to say but the longer I have practiced the "martial arts" I have realised that they have less to do with fighting and more the student about learning some fancy moves. Very few people can make these martaial arts 'work' and in fact those that do are rare. Those that do never needed the martial arts anyway and were gifted with a powerful set of mental tools. Tools that allow them to be decisive and aggressive with little thought for personal safety. In fact it is these attributes that make them successful.

Knowing this, through personal study and real life experiences I teach my students to develop high states of awareness. For myself I have found Zazen the most useful. Through sitting we learn to simply be. I found that this could be extended into a general mindfulness when on the move. Allowing me to be casually aware of my environment, others and my own internal processes. Being in the moment.Many of my students having used this have said how much more confident they have felt and this in turn apparently makes them a 'hard target'. Most attacks are opportunistic and the attacker will single out a victim dependant upon their appearance.Do they look scared, does their physiology betray their fear? You very rarely find a predator attacking the most confident animal in the herd. Just the opposite. There are many ways you can develop this Awareness and I would be more than happy to help anyone with these issues if they are interested in these methods. PM me and I would gladly help.
Incidentally the few violent encounters I have been involved in were those I chose to get involved in. Others were being assaulted and I felt they needed my help. I did not attack with anger but feigned aggression. I have learned that anger/aggression is of no use and often leaves you with moral issues after the event. You end up beating yourself up after the event!!! Not good! I have worked with many victims of physical assault over the years to great effect...quite a few of them were high ranking martial artists who had a very bad experience with the efficacy of their chosen art.

Sorry to ramble on but as well as Soto Zen my other distraction is Self Protection!

Gassho

Bob

Thanks for sharing Bob! I agree with your comments on avoidance, awareness and how much confidence you project towards others.

Yes, a tornado kick would not be very effective in a real life situation.

Gassho,
Ekai

[ZenHarmony]

Thank you for your input, Bob! Personally, I'd much rather avoid confrontation, I'm not one to start a fight. I was just a little disconcerted when I thought I found that Buddha disallowed violence, even in self-defense. Although you never know what can happen, I live in small towns now and don't take many chances. Hopefully, I'll never need put any self-defense into action!

Gassho,

Lisa