Mental health risks of meditation?

[Jundo]

Dear Steph,

This is beautifully stated, and is a wonderful Practice ...

As for now, the greatest peace that seems possible to me comes from actively relinquishing the self in acts of love and service, catching the mind in anger and bringing it gently back to compassion. It's a practice that mirrors the rhythm of zazen.

Developing a gentle, loving, forgiving attitude toward myself, my loved ones, people who have hurt me, people who have showed me kindness, beings I pass on the street, is the focal point of my practice and my greatest source of peace and happiness.

As to the rest, yes, I think you need to reign in or drop a bit your "aggressive personality" and "inner fire" that causes you to push yourself (to use your expressions). There are Zen styles that emphasize that, and that is fine. And if I meet someone too passive, or without an inner fire, I often tell them to be more agressive. But I recommend you loosen up on this. I Ibid my comments to you elsewhere on ths Forum ...

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Gassho, J

[Stephanie]

Thank you Jundo.

I thought about your advice on the way to work this morning. I sometimes worry that I hold life too loosely. I can actually be quite passive at times, to the extent it can be detrimental in some areas in my life. And that's what grabs me sometimes... this feeling that if all I do is find some measure of peace with my life as it is, I might one day find myself on my deathbed (if I am so lucky as to be aware of my impending death when it comes) and wonder, "Did I miss something...?" I've wanted to know "the truth" as long as I can remember; I'm not sure I can really give up that hunger to know without losing vital energy, without giving up or losing something of my "soul" (to use a poetic expression). But perhaps I am actually stifling or dampening that vital fire or energy by using it the way I do.