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Hiyas
While I enjoy reading them, and with no real understanding of the criteria for what is good or bad beyond what think is so, I will easily say I am no poet!
Perhaps all the more reason to do so with out judging?
I fail at Haiku
painting pictures with less words
tougher than it seems!
Thank you for posting your haiku. Now, this is a very delicate and difficult thing to do because poetry is a very intimate thing but as you kindly shared yours with us , I do have to say something about these poems:
Haiku comes from pure and utter experience without the filtering of the mind that wants to do philosophy, teach or make a pretty little thing: your haiku sound a bit too wordy to my ears,you can still simplify and cut .
You will find two parts in most haiku, we can call them the phrase and the fragment. The phrase is made of two lines and the fragment is just one line which has apparently nothing to do with the phrase, in other words a good haiku should not be red as one sentence...
From Santoka:
all day
I said nothing
the sound of waves
from Bassho:
cuckoo
now as for haiku masters
none are in this world
leave aside
litterary talents
tree peony
You also may ditch metaphors, ponctuation and even capital letters. The most important thing is to live your haiku, to experience it cursing your blood, to feel it deep down. Haiku is a state of complete simplicity and open-mindedness to what is as it is. No need to preach, sound and look clever. And this is difficult. Simplicity is difficult.
Thank you Taigu--I never knew about phrase and fragment.
wow--now I have to take another look at all I've written and maybe (no, probably) start all over again.
Celebrating the chance to beginner again
To correct is OK , Ann.
I do both, correct and create.
I call it my junk. Poetry for me is just like taking the garbage out. Drinking a glass of water.
Stuff like that.
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