The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the third day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...cooking with carefeul discrimination!

Here's a link to practice partner exercise #3:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2895

PLEASE NOTE: Feel free to jump in with any of the exercises we have done so far!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

Hi all,

Well, it took a coupe days but I was finally able to complete exercise #3 this afternoon. I must say it was an amazing experience for me to take the time to carefully prepare the meal, not fiddle with the pot and let it do it's own thing, savor the meal itself, and take it all in. I found the metaphor of the pot being our own head very interesting in that there are many aspects of our "mind theatre" we can control, but only once we accept and allow for the parts we cannot can we ever really deal with our suffering. And by "deal" I mean allow things to happen without trying to stop them. You can't stop them! Indeed, while the process was taking place I had a very fussy toddler who wouldn't fall asleep, a 5 year old playing a very loud video on the computer, and a mind that wanted to do anything but be patient for the rice to finish cooking. Add to that the fact that I hadn't been able to get out to the store to buy rice because I was shoveling out from a snowstorm and then finding time to even attempt the exercise was quite difficult. Any one of these things could, given the right circumstances, could send me into a frenzied, frazzled mind state...but none of them did. I took them as they came and realized that whether it's cooking rice, raising kids, or twiddling my thumbs...it's all life! If you go against the grain or swim agaisnt the current it is only your suffering you enhance. Even now I have a piercing headache that I would love to go away...but I have no say on that...let it come, let it go. And live!

But for now, sleep! Then, on to day #4!

Gassho,
Dosho

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the fourth day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...dirty dishes!

Here's a link to practice partner exercise #4:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2973

PLEASE NOTE: Feel free to jump in with any of the exercises we have done so far!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

Clean up around the sink, so that there are only the dirty dishes there to be washed.

Get everything ready so that you can wash them by hand.

Wash the dishes intently one by one, as if each plate was the most important thing in the world ... as if handling a precious child.

Clean diligently, removing the grime, while simultaneously dropping all thoughts of "clean" and "dirty" (if that is difficult, see if you can drop any negative feelings about the dirtiness, and see the dirty state with acceptance and equanimity).

Do not rush it.
Proceed ahead at a steady pace, taking care.
Drop all thought of some goal to attain, even while forging ahead.
Let each plate take it's time.

How did it feel?
Was it different than usual (if you usually do the dishes)?
Did you feel stressed? More at ease?
Can you consider doing this again, and other work in such "non gaining" way?

Report your thoughts to your practice partner and on the forum Ango thread (we'll also put it forth for discussion at the Treeleaf Tea party ..).

Hi all,

This exercise was a little easier to find time for since I am the primary dishwasher in the household. I also thought this would be a snap because, "Hey, I do this everytime!" Result: No, I don't.

It was different...very different. Like slow motion at first, but then it feels more like I'm NOT running at a crazy fast speed...just a regular speed. I'm actually doing the dishes, not doing the dishes AND going through every problem, decision, question, or answer of that day's activities. It just was. Man, one can sound like a whacked out guru or sage old man saying stuff like that, but it was different, and GOOD different. I didn't try to plan the best way to wash every dish and get ahead of myself, often resulting in stopping halfway through because I'm so frantic. Here it was just one at a time, not thinking about the next dish or the one before.

Will I do this again? Yep.

Gassho,
Dosho

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the fifth day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...gratitude!

Here's a link to practice partner exercise #5:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2992

It does seem like I'll be the only one participating, but still feel free to chime in at any time!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

Hi all,

I may leave this one until I have a day where I'm more out and about as to have more effect. Yes, I'm sure I could always say more "thank yous" to my wife and sons as well as "the grass, the trees, and the window", but let's try it on a day I actually leave the house.

Gassho,
Dosho

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the sixth day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...posture!

Here's a link to practice partner exercise #6:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3025

If you have any thoughts to share on this exercise or the previous ones, feel free to chime in any time!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

Hi all,

Well, the best laid plans...I was all set to do the previous two exercises today as I went to my son's school for his holiday concert, but I must admit that I completely forgot! ops: I suppose that in and of itself says something about how mindful I was being, but there is the added difficulty of trying to hold a squirmy 16 month old while searching for a 5 year old. They just never seem to cooperate...silly kids, what is their problem? Why won't they just get with the program already! And the crowd of parents, just like little kids themselves pushing to get a good seat or talk up the teacher! It's enough to make to make you go crazy and forget your perfect, exact, on the money, super, impressive plan!

So, to all those people today...busy parents, running children, swamped teachers, amateur camera operators, person who feels wronged by my family for making an honest mistake, and the less than pleasant smell of cafeteria food wafting through the air...thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Gassho,
Dosho

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the seventh day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...nothing!

Wait, nothing? Hmmmm....not sure how....ok, I'll just go sit then.

If you have any thoughts to share on any of the previous exercises, feel free to chime in any time!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the eighth day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...THEATRE! LINE! (Sorry, theatre humor).

Here's a link to practice partner exercise #8:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3076

If you have any thoughts to share on this exercise or the previous ones, feel free to chime in any time!

[Amelia]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

I see you wanting a friend in this! I will try to keep up!

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

I see you wanting a friend in this! I will try to keep up!

I'm falling a bit behind myself, so we can both pledge to keep up. Thanks!

[Amelia]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

I seem to be posting my results in another thread...

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

Try to develop some awareness in day to day life of the "mind theatre" ... the thoughts and emotions that arise in the mind, and your reactions to various circumstances.

Watch your behavior patterns as things happen throughout your day.
What triggers various emotions?
What reactions and behavior do they set off in you?

For example:
When you stub your toe, watch.
When you meet someone in your family about whom you hold strong emotions, watch.
When you get a red light when late for work, watch.
When someone says something with which you strongly disagree, watch
When someone says something flattering to you. watch.
When someone says something insulting to you, watch.
When you are feeling rested, or feeling tired, how does that change your mood? watch.
When you feel anger, sorrow or happiness, don't try and drive the feeling away, just watch how it arises and plays out.

Do you feel that you can start to observe your thought patterns and emotions more objectively, and perhaps free yourself from being caught by them so easily?

Report your thoughts to your practice partner and, if possible, on the forum thread.

Hi all,

It's interesting that this exercise would come today since it's been awhile since certain emotional triggers have been activated. But, late yesterday and today? Oh yeah. As a disclaimer, what follows are the thoughts that arise in that millisecond and start to recede a millisecond later. So, I don't want anyone to think from what's written below that I'm in a full blown panic. I wasn't and I'm not. But these are the thoughts that arose without trying to filter them too much if at all.

Yesterday my son got off the bus with two red marks on his face, one a scratch right near his eye, the other a very small cut on his cheek. I think I've found ways to observe and even control some of my reactions, but that was a new one. Is he hurt? Who did it? What happened? Is he ok? Am I ok? What happened!?! What little punk did this to him? So-and-so did it? Why would he do that? What do I do? What the hell do I do? Why doesn't it bother him? Did I teach him to be too passive? This is my fault! Oh crap, what the fuck do I do now?

At this point my breathing was elevated, I'm trying to focus on him, trying to stuff my insecurities, and working to not take every step in dealing with this all in one moment. Trying not to feel like a failure for not knowing what to do in this one moment. Taking a second, just to be ok and not have it all hit me at once.

I didn't sleep a whole lot last night. He's at school now and I sit here worried about not just the kid he is now, but the one he will become. I'm scared that I've done something terribly wrong. Will he be all right? He won't be home for two hours...TWO HOURS?! Am I going to be like this all day? Why is my heart beating faster? Am I in danger? Will he be bullied when he's 6, 7, 10, 14? How did I think I could handle this? Who did I think I was becoming someone's parent? I was bullied. His mom was bullied. Did I do this to him? Oh shit...why am I not handling this perfectly? Arrggghhhh!

So, yeah, I'm noticing my mind theatre. Can I be objective? I'm getting there and yes I think I can, but I do have miles to go (and also zero miles to go as I'm right here with nothing to do, nothing to change at the same time). Will it ever be easy? I doubt it. Easi-ER? Sure, why not?

Gassho,
Dosho

[Dosho]

Re: The 12 Days of Practice Partner Exercises!

On the ninth day of practice partner exercises, our priests in training gave to us...seeds!

Here's a link to practice partner exercise #9:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3092

If you have any thoughts to share on this exercise or the previous ones, feel free to chime in any time!