Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • AlanLa
    Member
    • Mar 2008
    • 1405

    Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

    Forget the ten ox herding pictures. Ten is way to many for today's modern busy body-mind. No, come hear how to do Zen Buddism in just three, that's right, THREE easy steps. Okay? Ready for the quick and easy road to personal enlightenment? Read on!!!!!!!

    Step 1:Understand that the brain, what we call our mind, is in the business of generating thoughts.

    Step 2: Instead of generating thoughts, train your mind via zazen to watch thoughts. So, instead of being a thought generator you become a thought watcher.

    Step 3: Drop the watcher.

    At the conclusion of step 3 you will experience emptiness!

    Call now for personal instruction and spiritual guidance through this "easy" three step process. And if you call in the next ten minutes you will get FREE the added bonus of Tibetan Buddhism in five easy steps (it is a bit more complicated). Operators are standing by.

    Paypal gladly accepted.

    Void where prohibited by law.

    :twisted:
    AL (Jigen) in:
    Faith/Trust
    Courage/Love
    Awareness/Action!

    I sat today
  • chicanobudista
    Member
    • Mar 2008
    • 864

    #2
    Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

    you forgot step 4!


    Step 4 - Profit!
    :mrgreen:
    paz,
    Erik


    Flor de Nopal Sangha

    Comment

    • Jundo
      Treeleaf Founder and Priest
      • Apr 2006
      • 39075

      #3
      Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

      I have heard of Zen in one easy step (off a hundred foot pole) ... and in 'not two' steps ... and "like the foot before and the foot behind in walking" steps ...

      All the same really. :twisted:
      ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

      Comment

      • AlanLa
        Member
        • Mar 2008
        • 1405

        #4
        Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

        Originally posted by Jundo
        I have heard of Zen in one easy step (off a hundred foot pole) ... and in 'not two' steps ... and "like the foot before and the foot behind in walking" steps ...

        All the same really. :twisted:
        Consumers, don't be fooled by imitators with quick enlightenment schemes. JundoCorp offers a one-step process off a 100-foot pole. Clearly, there is a product safety hazard here! And JundoCorp's NOT two step process? What is that? Not-two? Sounds like fraud to me.

        No, there is only one TRUE way to Zen Buddhist peace and enlightenment, and that way can be yours!

        No credit, no problem. We offer easy payment plans.

        Due to consumer demand, sale prices on my patented three-step process have been extended. And, if you buy one three step method you get a patch of Pure Land Buddhism free. Yes, that's right, your own patch of Pure land FREE!

        (Oh, and just to be fair, JundoCorp's insta-zazen is a fine product)

        :roll:
        AL (Jigen) in:
        Faith/Trust
        Courage/Love
        Awareness/Action!

        I sat today

        Comment

        • chicanobudista
          Member
          • Mar 2008
          • 864

          #5
          Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

          Originally posted by AlanLa
          Consumers, don't be fooled by imitators with quick enlightenment schemes. JundoCorp offers a one-step process off a 100-foot pole. Clearly, there is a product safety hazard here!
          I hoid that the Jundo guy is adding now the Slap Chop to his product. Sh....foggetaboutit!
          :mrgreen:
          paz,
          Erik


          Flor de Nopal Sangha

          Comment

          • JohnsonCM
            Member
            • Jan 2010
            • 549

            #6
            Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

            Before i buy, i've got a few questions......

            If I'm no longer generating these thoughts, whose thoughts am i watching? I mean, am I going to get arrested for being an esoteric "peeping Tom"?

            And what guarantees does your company have on the rate of return of your product? How can I be sure that the whole time I'm waiting for my karma check, you haven't already "Madoff" (pun intended) with my enlightenment and are watching the thoughts of some coconut clad Polynesian girl???
            Gassho,
            "Heitetsu"
            Christopher
            Sat today

            Comment

            • AlanLa
              Member
              • Mar 2008
              • 1405

              #7
              Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

              What? Huh? I'm sorry, my mind is too busy generating thoughts of coconut clad polynesian girls :shock:
              AL (Jigen) in:
              Faith/Trust
              Courage/Love
              Awareness/Action!

              I sat today

              Comment

              • disastermouse

                #8
                Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                Originally posted by AlanLa
                What? Huh? I'm sorry, my mind is too busy generating thoughts of coconut clad polynesian girls :shock:
                And mine has progressed to un-clad polynesian girls...

                Chet

                Comment

                • Jundo
                  Treeleaf Founder and Priest
                  • Apr 2006
                  • 39075

                  #9
                  Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                  Originally posted by disastermouse
                  Originally posted by AlanLa
                  What? Huh? I'm sorry, my mind is too busy generating thoughts of coconut clad polynesian girls :shock:
                  And mine has progressed to un-clad polynesian girls...

                  Chet
                  Yes, and they are having dreams of this ...

                  viewtopic.php?p=31644#p31644

                  :roll:
                  ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

                  Comment

                  • AlanLa
                    Member
                    • Mar 2008
                    • 1405

                    #10
                    Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                    Okay, enough with the girls already. On with the questions:

                    If I'm no longer generating these thoughts, whose thoughts am i watching?
                    I didn't say you stopped generating thoughts in step 2, just that you can train yourself (whatever that is) to start watching the thoughts that you generate. As for watching someone else's thoughts, apparently Jundo was watching those polynesian girls'. I'm thinking how to watch someone else's thoughts could be a whole new product line.

                    And what guarantees does your company have on the rate of return of your product?
                    There are no guarantees. Buyer beware. I can only sell you on the process, the results you get are up to you. But psst, let me tell you a secret... the key ingredient to make the whole thing work is faith. Faith in the process, faith in yourself, faith in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. Yup, that's all there is to it.
                    AL (Jigen) in:
                    Faith/Trust
                    Courage/Love
                    Awareness/Action!

                    I sat today

                    Comment

                    • Jundo
                      Treeleaf Founder and Priest
                      • Apr 2006
                      • 39075

                      #11
                      Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                      Originally posted by AlanLa
                      There are no guarantees. Buyer beware. I can only sell you on the process, the results you get are up to you. But psst, let me tell you a secret... the key ingredient to make the whole thing work is faith. Faith in the process, faith in yourself, faith in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. Yup, that's all there is to it.
                      No loss, no gain. This product adds nothing to your life, nor takes anything away. It does not clean mirrors, because there is not place for dust to alight. It keeps polishing nonetheless.

                      A lifetime guarantee. But if we get it wrong, there may be endless "returns" in lifetimes to come. :?
                      ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

                      Comment

                      • Dosho
                        Member
                        • Jun 2008
                        • 5784

                        #12
                        Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                        Wow, that's a great deal! Sign me up!

                        BTW, I have a deal on a water spanning structure in a borough of New York City that just might be deeply discounted....but only if you act now!

                        Operators are not standing by as they are currently sitting in very nice office chairs.

                        Gassho,
                        Dosho

                        Comment

                        • chicanobudista
                          Member
                          • Mar 2008
                          • 864

                          #13
                          Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                          Feeling tired.
                          Not feeling like your old self.
                          Not enough pep in that zafu.

                          You need:

                          BuddhaJuice!


                          It will keep your erect for hours.....in your zafu...that is.
                          paz,
                          Erik


                          Flor de Nopal Sangha

                          Comment

                          • SunnyP
                            Member
                            • Aug 2009
                            • 51

                            #14
                            Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                            LOL :lol:
                            Paula

                            Comment

                            • AlanLa
                              Member
                              • Mar 2008
                              • 1405

                              #15
                              Re: Zen Buddhism in three easy steps

                              Just to clarify, the "easy" three step process is guaranteed. It has a lifetime guarantee, as Jundo said. But your results with that process are not guaranteed, because you have to become part of the process. You get into it what you get out of it. So you need to have courage and take action within that process over time.
                              AL (Jigen) in:
                              Faith/Trust
                              Courage/Love
                              Awareness/Action!

                              I sat today

                              Comment

                              Working...