Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

[Jinyu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone!

For the moment everything is OK with the Ango!
The sitting is excellent, even if the last extra 10 min are a bit difficult in the morning when I'm hungry :lol:
The only little difficulty is about the meal gatha, I'm having a lot of interviews and lunchs for my job and my studies those times, and sometimes it's not easy to take the time to recite the gatha (even in my head).

For example today at the lunch, the school director I was with didn't understand why I stop talking during a minute, and why I was "doing something with my hands" ( gassho), but finally I explain everything and he understood, in fact he seemed interested, and I think I'll work with his school for some weeks... maybe it's because of the "open talk" after the "gatha affair"...

I hope you folks have good practice too! :wink:

Gassho to all of you!

Luis

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

First week of Ango has been good. A few time crunches here and there. Today was payday ( a decent one too for a change !!!!) so made a lil contribution to a project I wanted to help out. My attitude towards and at work has been better. Managed to keep my vows thus far( I actually had three beers in the fridge which I finished off so they wouldn't be there but after mon.I have been completely on track..a tiny stutter at the front but should be good for now) And if it wasn't for the vow then I would not be excercising today. Butttt the extra and the time crunch are all a part of it. So off I go.

Dave _/_

[Tobiishi]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Gassho...

Good week.
No beef,
no pork,
no chicken.
Bike ride every day, 4 miles...
Sitting daily, though not for long enough (yet)

I'm inspired by everyones' enthusiasm,
and humbled by my own meager effort in comparison.

I started out on fire for this zazen thing,
then cooled off and missed about a month of sitting,
now trying to re-center myself and remember why I'm here.

think what you think.

gassho
tobi

[Jundo]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

For example today at the lunch, the school director I was with didn't understand why I stop talking during a minute, and why I was "doing something with my hands" ( gassho), but finally I explain everything and he understood, in fact he seemed interested, and I think I'll work with his school for some weeks... maybe it's because of the "open talk" after the "gatha affair"...

This is a personal issue, and each person can decide for him/herself. I tend to feel that, when in a social, work or family setting in which some "explaining will be necessary" and not everyone may understand ... I might choose to do a practice inwardly, silently, to oneself.

Each person needs to decide this personally. Certainly, we don't wear our religion on our sleeve (meaning "force it into the face of others") ... neither do we hide it.

However, discussions and demonstrations of religion and politics, for example, are not always appropriate in a work setting, for example.

Tough issue. I would feel it is the same issue for any religion, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, in a social situation. Not everyone might understand if someone pulled out their prayer rug or Jewish prayer shawl during an important business meeting. (although, in most other Western countries, there is a duty on employers to reasonably tolerate and accomodate employee religious practices such as daily prayer).

Am I off on this?

Gassho, Jundo

[Jinyu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Am I off on this?

Not at all Jundo!
In fact, I'm not a very "ostensible" person, I don't have the habit to extend myself in front of people. But the director I was talking too, was director in a very catholic school, that's also why I decide to do entirely my practice in front of him... Because in a way, he did the same reciting is own prayer ( is a "Jésuite"). But I certainly won't do the same in front of a "laic" school director...

Gassho to everyone!

Luis

[Jinyu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone!

Today I just wanted to share a moment of misunderstanding I had this morning on the train with an old friend from a "traditional sangha" in Brussels .
We were talking about life and the difficulty of practice in everyday life. I explained that I coudn't be so often in the zendo in Brussels because I moved and because of the work I've to do.
And I simply told him about my practice with you folks here at Treeleaf. How it worked for me, how I'm more serious in my daily practice and that I feel more free and at the same time more encouraged by the atmosphere at Treeleaf.... And finaly, I told him about the Ango we are having...
And suddenly, I saw in his eyes something like "poor boy, what are you doing....". He just said how "bizarre" it was to him, but I felt he totaly changed his attitude. I felt very disapointed and I still don't understand why such attitude. :?
Some months ago, (last time I spoke to him) I wasn't Ok at all, my practice was very painfull, and I wasn't able to deal with it seriously and now I'm very well with my sitting, and I'm able to practice it seriously again, he rejected me (that's what I felt)... :|
The "worst" for me is that he said 10 minutes before, that he was very bad with his practice, that he lost the habit of sitting, the only thing he still makes is reading some Zen books... And suddenly, he just juged me like an heretic, because I was fine but outside of our traditional sangha :shock: ... I saw that for him, being with you in here was a kind of desertion. The fact that the practice could be "stronger" or just more serious for me didn't count for him...

Well I know I'm out of the subject with this... but it began when I talked about Ango, in fact I said "home retreat"...

Hope your day began under better auspices :wink:

Gassho to everyone,

Luis

ps: a few minutes after writing this message, I was asking myself how to deal with this situation when I'll see him again, and then I listen to the teaching Jundo give this sunday on the sit-a-long about peace... And it just answer to my questions...

Thank you Jundo _/_

[Taigu]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi luis,

Thanks for your support and kindness. Your friend is right and so are you.The Dharma may indeed take very traditional forms, the kind of stuff you have been doing and Jundo and I did for quite a lomg time ( "propper sangha and practice and sutra recitation and mondo and..."), and some new form, through this media, namely the internet. And the Dharma is always the Dharma. Of course, there is no desertion, how could it be when the whole universe can be studied in a speck of dust, in a blade of grass? You are always in the palm of the Buddha, and Buddha always in your palm. So is your friend.
Tu es un type tres pur et serieux, toujours si juste avec tes mots et ta compassion nous touche tous. Next time you see him? Just be Luis.

And shall tell you something...Everytime I go back and sit with the sangha I used to sit with 20 year ago ( AZI), well, I just experience the same thing as you did: rejection, you don't belong. These can be the byproduct of our anxious mind ( as you know, we are pretty well equiped to really screw it up...) or real (it is so sometimes, a bit of misunderstanding and also the fear of the unknown).
It is OK, no need to be sad, disappointed or unadequate.

Luis, you are just perfect as imperfect as you are.

Take care

gassho


Taigu


gassho

[monkton]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Dear Sangha,

well, I've realised that I absolutely fall on my food. At the moment I'll remember the chant as I'm carrying the food to the table, but once I'm sitting down I just dive on in and I'm only remembering the meal chant before the meal about half of the time, but as the week has gone on I'm becoming more mindful of it, so the outlook on that one is improving. I wonder if during 100 days I will pass through occasional awareness, full awareness, and then on into mindless habit on the other side.

One funny thing has been that while I've been sitting - which I have managed everyday - I have a new thought that keeps on popping up: "Now, I wonder if I'll have something to report back on this week?" And a few times I have begun composing this mail while I've been sitting. Always ready to accommodate a new distraction...

I'm working my way through "Opening the Hand of Thought" and cross referencing it with the comments that were made in the book club and I'm really enjoying (are we supposed to be enjoying this?).

Generally I catch glimpses of where I can bring more mindfulness into everyday life - it's usually just at the moment that I've acted/reacted on autopilot and missed the opportunity but it's a start, and hopefully as the days progress, like the food chant, I'll move in the right direction.

Gassho,
Michael

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Monk, yeah I have problems with the meal chant and metta verse in that respect. I think it's a matter of having to condition ourselves to adding something new. I shrug off the moments of forgetting and remind myself that it is something new, i'm not perfect and each time I say them I am nurturing that bit of compassion. Seeds take time to grow.

I can be quite the flighty type and a few times my mind will switch channels while sitting and i find myself impulsively moving to do something else before it hits me that i'm supposed to be sitting. *shrug* But when I catch myself I try to pull back into line. That's just the best I can do.

Dave _/_

[CinnamonGal]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi everyone:

A little update.

- Sitting 30 min a day; 2x30 on a week end (although I overslept yesterday morning ops: and was not able to be in the Zen hall in time);
- Sat with Agata and Will (was it Will?) last week and was really inspired by it;
- More difficulty with the Metta verse than I imagined would be. It just doesn't feel "right". Occasionally I catch myself wishing all this in a different wording when sitting on a commuter train and wishing well to all the people or when thinking of anyone in particular the way I sometimes do which is more of a spontaneous thing but right now it is hard to make it into something I do when I decide to do it and it that praticular order; I will keep trying it.
-Still forget the food chant most of the time!
- Heart Sutra too has found its way into my daily life but at this point I don't recite it 7 times a day. I find myself chanting the mantra even when walking down the street, but maybe more because of the catchy tune :roll:.

Gassho,

Irina

[Eika]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi, everyone.

Catching up on posting my Ango commitments:

Adding time to each sitting.
Mindful eating and meal gathas
Metta practice
Catch EVERY sit-a-long (I see most of them already)
Skype w/Jundo and/or Taigu
Increase my kesa-sewing time
Samu, samu, samu
Cut down on sweets
Rohatsu retreat and zazenkais

There are a couple of these that I foresee being a real challenge (the sweets!!!!!)

Gassho,
Eika

PS--Today marks two years since I joined Treeleaf and I'm proud to say that in that time I've only missed about 5 days of sitting practice since that day (illness each time). I think I would have had much more sporadic practice if I hadn't joined Treeleaf. Jundo, Taigu, and all of you here inspire me and remind me to keep at it. Thanks!

[Shonin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

WOOHOO!!!! Happy Treeleaf B-day, Eika!!!

[Kevin]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

in that time I've only missed about 5 days of sitting practice since that day (illness each time)

Wow! That's amazing, Bill! I hope I can say the same someday. You've inspired me.

In accordance with the food-related messages, I must say that I've just spent the weekend hosting my parents from out of town, and we've spent much of the time eating in restaurants and so on, eating very rich foods. I generally find mindful eating tough due to years upon years of "corporate eating habits" (ie. work through your lunch break). After eating so much rich food for so many days, my stomach is completely out of whack. I'm committing to not only say the meal chant, but to eat mindfully, particularly in trying to better gauge when my body has eaten enough. It's tough to do, because the satiation response takes a while to get to your brain. If you eat quickly, like I've learned to do, you're spending that time stuffing your face, until, by the time the satiation signal kicks in, you've already eaten way too much. I'll be working on eating a smaller amount of food slowly and mindfully, then waiting for the signal, then eating a bit more if it's not there, until my body tells me it's satisfied.

Gassho,
Kevin

[Dosho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi all,

So, how's it going? I'm doing fairly well with my commitments, the biggest one having sat at least an hour a day since we began. I've remembered to do metta about half the time and haven't remembered to do the meal chat yet, but that seems to be common and I agree with one person who said it's very different from what many of us are used to in daily life. Forum and book club participation have been good and although I've only done a little work on my kesa, I think all things considered I'm doing well having a 5 week old in the house! TV watching and sweets are way down, watching the sit alongs on time is up, and I have cut back on internet browsing too. I have made a couple donations and am doing my best to think before I speak; the latter is very hard for me.

The biggest thing that's happened is the amount of think time I've had during zazen, especially towards the end when my back and knees feel ready to give out. At that point the mind drifts into thought more as they come with a little more emphasis than at the beginning. When I began sitting regularly about a year ago I had trouble with so much time for thoughts to come and go, but I was able to find a equilibrium that suited my 30 minutes a day. So, it's understandable that doubling my sit time would bring some emotions to the surface and that's been a bit rough at times. I've really allowed myself to dive deep into my past experiences which haven't always been rosy. At times I've felt really down, but I felt that way back when we had our first son and I wasn't sitting back then. Listening to a baby cry and feeling like you don't know how to help him is a terrible feeling, but fortunately it's happening less and less as we go to know each other.

So, pretty good.

Gassho,
Dosho

[Bansho]

Re: Experiencing Ango - PLEASE SHARE YOUR ANGO EXPERIENCES HERE

Hi,

Just 'checking-in' with some reflections on my Ango Practice.

As someone with a garden full of weeds I love to hate, there's always ample opportunity for samu. Why are there some activities which we prefer over others? Yesterday evening I was doing some weeding after a long day at the office, thinking I'd rather be doing something else, noticing a sense of impatience, wanting to be done with it. Labeling weeding 'work' and imagining that what I could be doing otherwise as somehow more enjoyable, classifiying whatever that may be as 'after-work', thinking I've worked all day, now I want some 'free-time'. Then I took notice of these thoughts. Stop.

Did you ever have the experience of being in a darkened room - not pitch black, just enough indirect light to cast an array of shadows - and you catch something in the corner of your eye which is somehow indiscernable, but leaves you with the feeling that it warrants further attention? Wanting to find out what it is, to make that 'unknown' known, you turn your head, focus your vision and...it's gone. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing unusual remains - except for the feeling that you had somehow conjured up that nebulous phantom whatever-it-was yourself.

That's just what happened when I took notice of the thoughts I was having while weeding. Thoughts of weeding, work, free-time, etc. were exposed; naked phantoms without any substance, the jig is up! At that very moment, it makes no difference whatsoever what I am doing. It's not that I suddenly like what I'm doing. There is no 'better' or 'worse', no wanting to be 'there' rather than 'here' doing 'that' rather than 'this'. Nothing matters, there is nothing apart from just that doing. Absence of valuation. Raw activity.

And after a while I invariably get distracted and forget all that, likes and dislikes creep back into my consciousness, I fall asleep in my Practice... until the next time I take notice and wake up. Not just having the passing thought of dropping all thoughts, but really getting jolted and waking up to that raw activity beyond likes and dislikes. This is something that I go through over and over and over. It's never done, it's never achieved, but rather it's a continuous Practice of falling asleep and waking up. If we didn't fall asleep, how could we possibly wake up?

This is one of the things that strikes me about Ango Practice. Peaceful dwelling. Letting go of some harmful habits and taking on some beneficial activities. This is essentially widening the scope and deepening our Practice of "not doing harm" and "doing good", two of the three Universal Precepts. But both of these have something in common, something which I think must be a pre-requisite for the third Universal Precept, "to liberate all sentient beings". Whether it be doing (good) or not-doing (harm), or liberating sentient beings, we must first just simply take notice. What are we doing, just now? Take notice, again and again and again. Take notice that we've made a commitment to do this and not to do that. When it's time to eat we recall that it's time to recite the meal gatha. When the desire to do something we've vowed to give up arises, we take notice and dissolve our desires by seeing through them. It doesn't matter whether we've forgotten our commitments in the past or whether we think we'll be able to keep them in the future. What matters is that we call them to mind now. And in taking notice now, we wake up, our dreamy likes and dislikes vanish in an instant and just for that moment - no longer dwelling with demons - we dwell peacefully.

Gassho
Bansho