Mad at the Buddha for abandoning his family

[Jishin]

It can be argued that Buddha's decision to leave his family was a necessary step in his spiritual journey. He recognized that his privileged life as a prince did not provide the necessary conditions for understanding the true nature of suffering and the path to enlightenment. By renouncing his royal status and wealth, he was able to focus on his spiritual practice and ultimately attain enlightenment, which he then shared with others. His teachings have helped countless people to find peace and understanding in their own lives, and the ultimate goal of Buddhism is to help all beings achieve enlightenment, which is considered the ultimate good. Therefore, Buddha's decision to leave his family can be seen as an act of compassion and selflessness that ultimately benefited not only himself but also countless others.

Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH

[Spiritdove]

I doubt a lot of stories of hero men in the past being literal and how stories change. We don't live in that culture Hindus thought karma made one life bad his intent was to seek liberation for all not just his family and I'm sure him being a son of a king they were well cared for. If he had not had human failings how could he learn the way out of suffering? It looks like he ran off but to me he made all mankind his family


Marj "Spiritdove"
SatToday

[Tokan]

I doubt a lot of stories of hero men in the past being literal and how stories change. We don't live in that culture Hindus thought karma made one life bad his intent was to seek liberation for all not just his family and I'm sure him being a son of a king they were well cared for. If he had not had human failings how could he learn the way out of suffering? It looks like he ran off but to me he made all mankind his family


Marj "Spiritdove"
SatToday

I am no expert but I believe many cultures, across the world and across history, have had that 'home-leaving' rite of passage. With what I know it sounds like it is often a journey of personal transformation. The Buddha's home leaving sounds like it fit with that model but ended up having drastically different consequences.

Gassho, Tokan (satlah)

[Gareth]

This has been an issue for me too. I like to think of the marriages or families saved by a little zazen (or perhaps by a lot), and that they would have been well cared for and living in luxury even. My understanding is that they joined him later (thanks to The Zen of Everything!), and maybe that was planned in advance.

Gassho,
Gareth

Sat today, Lah

[Jishin]

Buddha, prince of wealth and pride,
Abandoned all and stepped outside
His royal life, his queen, his heir,
To seek the truth and end despair.

He traveled far, through rain and sun,
To find the path that would be done.
He meditated, fasted, and sought,
And finally, enlightenment he brought.

He saw the way, the middle road,
To break the cycle, end the load.
He taught the truth to all in need,
And helped humanity to find peace indeed.

But some may say, his family left,
How could this be, a path bereft?
But Buddha's quest was not just for one,
But for all beings, under the same sun.

His wisdom and compassion, shared with all,
Benefitted even those he'd left behind.
His family too, in their own way,
Were touched by his enlightenment, and came to see the light today.

So though he left them, it was not in vain,
For in the end, they all gained.
Buddha's sacrifice, a noble thing,
For the salvation of all humanity, it brings.

Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH

[Tai Do]

Buddha, prince of wealth and pride,
Abandoned all and stepped outside
His royal life, his queen, his heir,
To seek the truth and end despair.

He traveled far, through rain and sun,
To find the path that would be done.
He meditated, fasted, and sought,
And finally, enlightenment he brought.

He saw the way, the middle road,
To break the cycle, end the load.
He taught the truth to all in need,
And helped humanity to find peace indeed.

But some may say, his family left,
How could this be, a path bereft?
But Buddha's quest was not just for one,
But for all beings, under the same sun.

His wisdom and compassion, shared with all,
Benefitted even those he'd left behind.
His family too, in their own way,
Were touched by his enlightenment, and came to see the light today.

So though he left them, it was not in vain,
For in the end, they all gained.
Buddha's sacrifice, a noble thing,
For the salvation of all humanity, it brings.

Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH

Tai Do (Mateus)
Satlah

[Kyonin]

Hi.

Thank you for bringing up this issue with the Buddhadharma. Here is my deluded point of view. Please slap me if I need it

When we embrace Buddhism, regardless of the tradition, there are many intangible commitments that come along with the experience. As westerners we need to understand that is an Asian religion, from at least 2 millennia ago. It's useless to judge the Buddha's actions with our modern western eyes. It's almost impossible to figure out what was the social and political theatre where the Buddha's life happened.

However, if we study a little of ancient Indian history (or any ancient civilization), we can learn that a lot of things that now would be unthinkable happened and were socially accepted. For instance, when there was a baby with a malformation, blind or with a clear genetic issue, it was left to die. That was normal. And the same goes for giving away kids to the temple, to the army, to a noble or leave them all together in pursuit of any other goal.

So, was it ok that Shakyamuni abandoned Rahula? Yes, it was normal even if we don't like it.

Now the other part of this issue is our own practice. Judging others is something we train ourselves to not do. Judging Shakyamuni is just our mind telling stories, making value judgements, and rejecting life.

You wouldn't be reading these lines if the whole past of the Buddha were different.

So... despite my western thoughts and cosmovision, I am simply in no position to judge. There is only gratitude in this heart for the past of all the universe.

Gassho,

Sat today/LAH

[Jishin]

Judging, a task that we must do,
A fate we cannot escape,
Evaluating all that we see,
And in our actions, shape.

We judge the clothes that adorn us,
The words that flow from our tongue,
We judge the people around us,
Their actions, old and young.

But let us be kind as we judge,
For judgment falls on us too,
Quick not to bind and to hold,
But with grace, let our judgment pass through.

For in this world, judging is a part,
A task that cannot be changed,
But in how we judge, let us start,
To see the good and rearrange.

So, let us find the good in all,
And nurture it to grow,
For in judging, a better world,
Is what our actions will show.

Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH

[Tairin]

Kyonin. I really like your response and the perspective you brought. Thank you.


Tairin
Sat today and lah

[Seiko]

As it says above.

The Buddha abandoned his young son.

I don't know why it's never dawned on me before but this is a pretty big issue.

I get that something very good came out of it but as someone who was also abandoned by my father I can say it is without a doubt one of the most harmful things to ever happen to me that lay the path for much further trauma.

So I'm mad because now the Buddha just seems like another guy who abandons his family and leaves his wife to pick up the pieces.

Argh!

It is OK to think the Buddha is a jerk for doing this, right?

And still I sit.

Gassho,
Eikyō
Sat

As parents and grandparents we try to do the right thing, care for, feed, clothe, educate and love our kids.

What people did in the past cannot be changed. My grandmother died when my dad was 4. Grandad wasn't great at caring for a small boy, so dad's young life was tough, unfair, and was not filled with love.

I can't change that, even with anger. What I can do, is try to be a better parent/grandparent than my dad had, and try to make the right choices.

We do what we can.

Gasshō
Seiko
stlah it

[Jundo]

I can't change that, even with anger. What I can do, is try to be a better parent/grandparent than my dad had, and try to make the right choices.

Gassho, J

stodayLAH

[Spiritdove]

Yes but I have a thought even though it may be acceptable then still does not mean it was still acceptable. Just because a group deemed it to be in an ancient setting . Its either right or wrong actions and it has to be based on beneficial to well being of humanity. If its not well being it does not matter what time frame it was done in. Its still wrong if it does harm to anyone. I got into this same discussion with a christian once on how they did things in the bible and it was ok back then like slavery. Slavery no matter what time frame is wrong no matter what. And no place in bible did it condemn slavery it actually only spoke on how to care for slaves .Look like a God would say "slavery is wrong" because it causes harm to well being no matter what your skin color or background is. So its wrong now and it would be wrong then. Same as this idea of what they did "back then" and trying to justify it. its never normal to leave any child to die. It was what they did yes but never "normal"
Saying it was ok for Shakaymuni to abandon his family as normal? Today if a father did that he would go to jail or be fined.No its wrong today and its wrong then. If he actually did not abandon them but set them up with good care and financial comfort then that is not abandonment. He essentially left them in the hands of royal servants to be catered to their every wish. Not exactly the same scenario as the deadbeat dad we get nowadays Saying it was normal and it was fine and it does not matter if I don't like it is just plain wrong. Its wrong then its wrong now. doesn't change due to timeline.
Kindly agreeing to disagree..
Would you say if they cut off the heads of children who were a bit deformed or born disabled it was ok as long as it was ok back then? I cant fathom someone thinking that. . Its not right and I stop now. Hope I got what I meant across "respectfully"
Well being is what its about not cultural norms.


Marj "Spiritdove"
Sat today "early"

[Jishin]

Right and wrong, a grand debate
Varying by culture, society, and state
Capital punishment, a prime example
In some, right, in some, a sample

LGBTQ+ rights, a debate
Once hate, now pride
Equal rights, worldwide

The Bible, a book divine
Evolution history, over time
Slavery, once accepted, now wrong
Morality a journey, moving on.

It can be difficult to determine who is right or wrong when it comes to morality, as it often relies on personal beliefs and values. Different cultures, societies, and individuals may have varying perspectives on what is considered morally right or wrong. There is no universal standard for determining morality, and what is considered morally acceptable can change over time and vary between different groups of people. In some cases, there may be legal or religious frameworks that help to define what is considered morally right or wrong, but even then, these frameworks can be interpreted and applied differently by different people. Ultimately, determining morality is a complex and nuanced issue that can be influenced by a wide range of factors.

My 2 shekels.


Gassho, Jishin, ST, LAH