Is my Zazen working???

[Jundo]

Hi Andrew,

Please do not worry about making progress or seeing changes. Just sit and keep letting go of thoughts (as described in "opening the hand of thought" book). The moment you notice you are thinking, let go of the thought train and continue to just sit. That's all there is to it. The changes will come. Just have faith.

Also in a way there's nothing to change. There is nothing wrong about how we are. Nothing to be fixed. The "change" (if any) is to come to the understanding that nothing needs to change about us.

The attitude towards the practice is less of "self improvement" and more of an "offering to all beings". Something we do to benefit all beings. As our bodhisattva vows say, we vow to free all beings. Even though you may not understand it now, please do the practice as an offering to all beings.

It is okay even if you approach it as a "self-improvement" for now. Just continue to sit and have faith it works. It will all be fine

Gassho,
Sam
STLah

Boy, Sam, your expressing is very nice, and you (truly) have changed and improved in your understanding since the old days, years ago, when we used to wrestle about this! Lovely!

But, of course, even though Zazen is not about "self-improvement," we do as we can not to fall into or wallow in things like anger, excess desire, jealousy and the like. We wish to live gently, as we can. And as we sit, in equanimity and not clinging to thoughts and emotions, a certain "illumination" of wisdom does begin to shine through this chaotic world ...

... which is a definite change and improvement in how we see things!

Gassho, Jundo

STLah

[shikantazen]

Boy, Sam, your expressing is very nice, and you (truly) have changed and improved in your understanding since the old days, years ago, when we used to wrestle about this! Lovely!

Thanks Jundo. I agree, I spent a lot of time not understanding how to practice. For me "change" started happening with two things. Starting to work with a teacher and sitting sesshins. I think these are very important. I sat daily for 3-4 years but nothing seemed to happen till I started sitting those multi day sesshins and started working with a teacher.

By change, I can see I am able to deal with my anger much better, am more kinder and have more presence during the day. Above all, being able to do the practice more for practice's sake rather than expecting any benefit.

Gassho,
Sam
STLah

[Tai Shi]

I sit almost everyday for at least 1/2 hour with someone. Have done for years. Sam talks about working with a teacher. Not sure in South Dakota! My wife might drive me to Sioux Falls to work with Zen teachers who come from Minneapolis each moth or two. Not to sure this would help Shikantaze. I've relied on videos, comments on the Forum. That's what I will continue to do. What do you think Jundo?
Gassho
sat/ lah

[Jundo]

I sit almost everyday for at least 1/2 hour with someone. Have done for years. Sam talks about working with a teacher. Not sure in South Dakota! My wife might drive me to Sioux Falls to work with Zen teachers who come from Minneapolis each moth or two. Not to sure this would help Shikantaze. I've relied on videos, comments on the Forum. That's what I will continue to do. What do you think Jundo?
Gassho
sat/ lah

Sit where you can, sit many places, but always sit right where you are in this moment.

Gassho, J

STLah

[houst0n]

From what I understand from reading the long multipart memoir on the Antaiji website, "In my Teacher's House", those extreme experiences as the Rinzai monestary were part of his "searching" days. Now it seems he is talking about coming full circle.

I know the Zazen sessions as Antaiji seem extreme to us but definetly a middleway in relation to Zafu pooping or extreme astecism (think emaciated Buddha).

Hopefully I can share a more informed opinion about their style of practice once the snow melts and I make it up the mountain to Pioneer Valley Zendo for a Zazenkai. 1/2 a day I think I am up for. A five day Sesshien there, not likely.

Gassho,

Greg
STlah

Sent from my SM-N981U using Tapatalk

Have you read 'Eat, Sleep, Sit'? It's an account of what goes on in Eihei-Ji from the perspective of a Novice monk, and it's really not far off the kind of things Muho experienced in the Rinzai temple. Beatings, being worked so hard and fed so little you barely function, no washing for weeks on end, wetting yourself, being made to sit in Seiza for hours as punishment for dropping a chopstick and so on.

I don't think these situations are related to Buddhism or part of 'learning our traditions' in any way, rather, in my view the people carrying out this kind of institutionalised hazing are absolutely not being kind, empathetic or caring to their victims. This goes against what I feel is a core part of our attitude and approach to life.

I suspect this stuff is a function of what happens when you have a large group of young men and give some of them responsibility (or, power) over another subsection of young men. Simply because it was done to them, they continue it. This is a cycle that can be broken..

I don't think it's necessary at all. I would even go further and say that it's against what we (as a group) should stand for, and such practice in our temples should be stopped. The people who behave like this, or promote this kind of thing should be removed from our tradition and prevented from continuing this 'legacy' entirely. The abbot at the time was Rempo Niwa, who transmitted Nishijima Roshi (so, this stuff is directly in the Treeleaf lineage) and I feel the abbot is ultimately responsible for what happens to the novice monks at his temple. There is no way he didn't know this was going on. How can we reconcile this?

Gassho,
./sat+lah
Neil

[Jundo]

I don't think it's necessary at all. I would even go further and say that it's against what we (as a group) should stand for, and such practice in our temples should be stopped. The people who behave like this, or promote this kind of thing should be removed from our tradition and prevented from continuing this 'legacy' entirely. The abbot at the time was Rempo Niwa, who transmitted Nishijima Roshi (so, this stuff is directly in the Treeleaf lineage) and I feel the abbot is ultimately responsible for what happens to the novice monks at his temple. There is no way he didn't know this was going on. How can we reconcile this?

It is Japanese 'Samurai' culture, not limited to the monastery, and happens with high school baseball teams and new company employees sometimes, even elementary schools.

https://savvytokyo.com/bullying-japanese-schools/

Actually, my understanding is that the situation, even in the monasteries, has changed quite a bit since the 70s and 80s, which has even led the 'old school, old timers,' to be heard complaining about how "soft and needing of pampering is this generation.' As you may have seen, we even have a monk friend in a Japanese monastery who recently got in trouble for being too hard in scolding someone verbally in the monastery.

https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?19402-Worries-of-practice-life&p=297559&viewfull=1#post297559

All I can say that it is not unlike college fraternity/army boot camp thinking. When Niwa Zenji was head of the monastery in the 70s, raised as he was before WWII, it was more acceptable than now. Different times. Niwa himself was a very soft individual, described as flowerlike (his pen name as a poet and painter was actually "plum flower"), and Nishijima described a very grandmotherly personality, so I do not think that Niwa was personally that kind of "samurai."

Gassho, J

STLah