ears ringing

[Ugrok]

Well, i'm aware of it, of course, and have been for a long time... So i don't act on it anymore, for example, and i refuse to let stupid stuff ruin my life. But still, the game is playing, and still, it makes me suffer, because i never really know if i should worry or not, for example. How can you know for sure that this little itch is not something really bad ?

Good example with that ear thing : i assumed that it was my hypochondriac side creating the whistling, when in fact this time there apparently was "real" waxy stuff going on... So i can never trust what i feel, and that leads to doubt and fear of course ! It's not the first time that i did not go immediately to the doc because i was almost sure that all of this was bullshitty mind games...

So the game plays but i cannot help but get involved in it, cause sometimes the game tells the truth, sometimes not...

Well, enough whining, back to work !

Gassho

Uggy
Sat today

[Shinshi]

I did a rotation in a chronic pain clinic working with folks with tinnitus. I often went home thankful I didn't have it. Then, last year when I turned 60 - someone flicked the switch and I had it.

I notice it the most when going to sleep and sitting. I spent many hours trying to figure out a way to deal with it. Then decided, like many have already said, just to treat it like any other intrusion. No different than the wind howling - but a little different than a puppy crying to go out.

I find I still hear it, but the bothering has faded. Like so many things my discomfort came from the distance between the way I wanted to world to be (no tinnitus) and the way that it actually was. Once I accepted that my world now contains tinnitus - and that is small element in a much vaster world, - then it stopped bothering me as it did.

[Amelia]

Uggy, I also have anxiety like this, and I just want to let you know that I know how you feel. For me, it is not so bad this year, but it has come and gone before with years of panic attacks and a general feeling of unease all the time, usually set off by something small, like your ear blockage. For me, it was a bad tooth infection. Another time, though, a big thing, my mother's cancer. Before that, just a little change in medication for one week set me off for years. It is just how I am wired, I guess. Best thing I have ever learned to do is not play the game, but it doesn't always work. I know how hard it is to explain that while you know how silly and unproductive it is, you are still feeling it deeply. I'm sure a lot of people here can empathize.

Gassho, sat today, lah

[Jundo]

For those who don't know how overwhelming tinnitus can be for some people, a short film which recreates the experience and explains the sensation ...

https://www.nbcnews.com/leftfield/video/what-tinnitus-sounds-like-1060145731897

Part of the cure, I am sure, involves acclimating the brain to ignore and "pay no nevermind" to the experience, must as we train in Shikantaza.

Gassho, J

SatTodayLAH

[Ugrok]

Well yeah, during my readings i found this site about "tinnitus retraining therapy", and it involves spending daily time listening to the tinnitus without reacting.

Very interesting read overall :

http://tinnitus.org/