[HealthDharma] Hospital Musings from Room 161 A

[Onki]

Dear Sangha,

Everyday, I feel your presence with me. You all give me such strength during my darkest times.

For those that sent something special, you have my gratitude. These gifts mean so much to me. Thank you. [emoji1431]

And to my dear visitor, what a joyous moment.

I love you, all.

Deep Bows,

On

Sat today/LAH

[Tom A.]

[HealthDharma] Hospital Musings from Room 161 A

First off, great job recognizing when you need help and then getting it. That shows a considerable amount of mindfulness (mindfulness as used in the therapeutic sense to clearly understand what is happening in the moment, non-judgmentally).

My best advice (from the personal experience of having intrusive thoughts, and many years of receiving therapy, treating a number of mental health problems) is that when I feel distressing emotions is to consider:

1. There is a thought triggered by a triggering event such as having an intrusive thought (“having an intrusive thought,” whatever distressing thought that may be, being the triggering event).
2. There is an intense emotion attached to the thought about the event.
3. Because of the intense emotion(s), the thoughts feel more real, giving them what I call a “reality effect.” This “reality effect,” when not recognized and seen for what it is, can keep a cycle of distressing thoughts and emotions returning over and over, getting triggered and re-triggered, over and over again (…all because it all just feels so real!) until the person qualifies for clinical anxiety or depression!
4. I try to be mindful of the “reality effect” of thoughts that have an intense emotion attached, especially if they are very distressing and don’t fit the facts of the situation (most distressing thoughts I’ve found to be in this category, as in, the thoughts and feelings are masquerading as saving us from danger, telling us our lives are in danger when they’re not, it is only the amygdala and the resulting “fight or flight” feelings that range pretty much only from fear to anger).
5. It IS possible to control, direct, change, and accept emotions and thoughts, managing them through therapeutic mindfulness and such (and medications if needed).
6. Be kind to yourself and let the blue sky and sun of compassion shine through the storm clouds of emotions and thoughts, letting them float by no matter how intensely real they feel, until the mind calms down. It is often not worth thinking or doing anything until the mind is calmed, or thoughts and actions can often be counterproductive or dangerous. Be kind to yourself and patient, don’t give up. Your physiology, thought patterns, and conditioned behaviors may make it more difficult than others (it was very difficult for me!) to get the proper help and meds.
7. We were raised, more or less (most often more) to feel a great deal of shame, that we are less than others because of our limitations. To paraphrase what Jundo has written elsewhere, a bird flying wobbly with a broken wing is perfectly that bird flying wobbly with a broken wing. Don’t let shame get you down, I wasted many years marinating in shame.

I hope this helps, it is the best of what I picked up through many years of therapy, it is what works for me.

(Sorry for running long)

Gassho,

Tom

SatLah


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[Ankai]

You're very brave and truly heroic.
ST
LAH

[Doshin]

Onki,

Your Sangha supports you. I find joy in-seeing how you are remembered by so many. The compassion of this Sangha warms my heart. We take refuge in the Sangha

I understand how your mind is darkened with OCD. It is not what is portrayed on television or in most peoples’ interpretation of what it is. I know how you must think when someone erroneously says I am “a little OCD”. There is no little, it can take over your life. It is estimated that 4% of the populations suffers from it but many are good at hiding it. Many do not understand how it suck’s the joy out of life and the impact on those closest to you.

There are groups trying to educate the public, doctors and therapists about the real nature of this disorder. A couple nights ago I saw a public information piece on Cable TV that told what OCD is and what it is not.

There are new CBT techniques that have success. There are medications that can help. However it is a journey to align all these up. You will make progress and bring light into darkness. There is a path forward, I found it.

You are always close in my heart.

Doshin
Stlah