BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 22

[Ed]

I come looking for gold, let the rest go. Can't say that I have found sucky things here, or maybe I just glanced over it never noticing.
Taking in both makes for a good mixture, I suppose, gold can carry sucky a long way.
Having three sanghas now: a traditional sangha 60 miles away, a smaller, closer to home group of commited (not as in institutionalized, but a real golden find for me of a serious practitioner whom just showed up in my life,) and now I have this e-sangha that I love to come and visit and sit with in Goole plus, I feel spoiled after years of dharma draught in Miami.
I look for keeper stuff let the rest go.
Same philosophy for life is working well for me.
I keep most of it, thankfully.
Gassho all.

[AlanLa]

As soon as I say it is either keeper or clunker, haven't I missed the greater teaching? With all due respect, Jundo (is "due respect" flattery?), whether it is a keeper or clunker depends in some respect on what I bring to the lesson, and those labels are what I take from the lesson. What happens in between? Well, that's interesting and worth studying. So, what is my answer on this keeper/clunker questions? I dunno, I'm still straddling the fence. I would say it is definitely not a clunker, but I am unsure how long I will keep it. If I let it go later, does that make it a clunker? Silly questions making sillier points.

Dropping dualities, let me move on to my first reaction to this koan and commentary. Common or holy depend on what we bring to the situation, as I said above. Every situation has the potential for both, or neither, or one or the other. Asking the teacher if it is one or the other is a silly question. First of all, they are biased. Secondly, and more importantly, who is he or she to decide what you consider to be common or holy? For example, I teach one course that students not in my field are required to take. Because of that, I spend a whole day answering this common or holy question. Of course, the student version is more like if the course is good or bad, worth their while or not, etc. My answer is that I will do the best I can to make the course content meaningful to them, but ultimately what they get out of the course (or any course, or sangha, etc.) is up to them.

Thus, this koan is just the beginning of a much longer story. Did Ganto find Tokusan's place common or holy? I bet he decided it was both, or maybe neither. What happened while he made that decision is worth our own study.

[Rich]

Take what you need and leave the rest. Of cause this is real but sometimes that just sucks eggs.

[Heisoku]

Here zazen is the Golden Egg and what hatches is up to the practice I do!

As for the teachers... well what can I say?
Every time I sit zazenkai (usually recorded) or watch a sit-a-long and some familiar face smiles and says 'Hi guys....' I can't help smiling back thinking YES!

One Bright Pearl.

[Risho]

- Please discuss how this Sangha or any part of Zen Practice sometimes is golden, and sometimes sucks eggs, and whether it is possible to find the Golden Egg.

I usually find that my practice feels great when I am in a good mood or I appear to be getting something from it. It can suck when it doesn't live up to my expectations. Like when I measure incorrectly for the Kesa and I have to recut, or throw out a piece of fabric that I completely messed up. It can also suck to sit when I don't feel like sitting. Or sometimes I might want a drink because I miss drinking. Now I personally feel that not drinking is the way that I need to practice the precept, so it's important to me. When I drop those judgements, practice is just practice.

I can't trust my judgements a lot of the time with Zen; my mood will drive how I feel about it. So to keep on practicing I literally have to just keep practicing despite what tricks my mind has in store for me. In that sense, the Sangha and teachers are extremely important. I have to trust in Taigu and Jundo for guides along the way; otherwise, I wouldn't stick with practice. or I could transform practice into something that simply suits me and meets my expectations, which wouldn't be real practice. Or it could be some form extreme asceticism that also misses the middle.

Sometimes I still don't sit if I don't feel like it, but the Sangha helps keep me going, or else I'd quit.

Sitting for myself is not right.
Sitting for others is not right.
Just Sit (the middle)

- I wonder if this presentation of Koan 22 is a "keeper" or a "clunker". Did I do a good job?

You're not trapping me in that one! hahahahhah

Gassho,

Risho

[BrianW]

As stated in the Dylan quote alluded to in the reading “That he not busy being born is busy dying” but “If you are born when the sun is on the horizon how would you know if it is a sunrise or a sunset?”

But I’m down…I’ll be sticking around here at Treeleaf….

Gassho,
BrianW/Jisen

[Shogen]

The experience at Treeleaf has been like a journey lead by two old trail guides. A journey to where pristine perception and complete integration into "what is" takes place. The one True Way that won't go away,"what is." Gassho Shogen

[Heisoku]

The one True Way that won't go away,"what is."

Thank you Shogen
Gassho.

[Daitetsu]

las-tres-posiciones-de-reiki-195x110.jpg

[galen]

Upon reading this koan this morning I was struck by how close Ganto represents myself. One foot in, one foot out of Trealeaf, with a touch of arrogance thrown in for good measure . "Is this place holy or ordinary (and/or does it matter?)?" As Ganto is checking it out to see if its a place he wants to study. And as Wick points to... "if you don't experience it, your understanding is just a projection." Getting to the embodiment of that experience tells all. Thank you everyone!


Gassho

[Risho]

Galen, thank you! The way you pointed that out (about the one foot in/one foot out) rang a bell in my mind to this koan so to speak.

Ganto's question is the same question I ask myself.. which I bet is the same question we all ask ourselves. Why do I do this? Should I stay? oh yeah, sometimes I get discouraged with practice and Treeleaf, and I think I'm not cut out for this. But it is bullshit. Really, it is. I'm discouraged with myself. I'm not meeting expectations, which is my fault for creating any and, further, is the source of my suffering. But it's good that there is suffering; that is always a constant reminder of the necessity of practice in my life.

In the Identity of Relative and Absolute (Sandokai), this same point is being addressed;

from that poem:

In the Way there are no northern or southern ancestors.
The subtle Source shines clear in the light;
The branching streams flow in the dark.
To be attached to things is primordial illusion;
To encounter the absolute is not yet enlightenment.

Mundane is not it.
Holy is not it.

I tend to grasp onto one or the other, but this practice is about going beyond either half. Some teachers talk about walking the edge. The Sandokai says when "two arrows meet in mid-air". Think about how precise that is... how thin it is to walk on the middle path, which is why i atone. I'm always slipping off to one side or the other, putting myself before others, or idolizing some person, creating a separation that I'm not a Buddha (an ego-mechanism to distract me from the Path). But I took the Bodhisattva vows and I took Jukai, another set of vows to stay on this path.. this impossible path.

Zazen and my practice here, for you all, with you all, supported by everyone here, all helps me to drop that thinking.. to go beyond the relative and the absolute, to not grasp one or deny the other. To go beyond, which is a full functioning of both.

On a side note, I find myself reaching a limit when talking about these koans.
Writing about this is so hard, and I feel silly talking about this practice (as if I'm some authority) when I've only been doing this for a couple of years, when others here have been doing this for decades. (I know that is part of delusion that I'm not good enough) Yet, if I don't say something here (with my full conviction behind it), and present my understanding (even if it is wrong or what have you), no one will know my understanding as it is now... and my practice can't grow. I would be deceiving myself, my sangha and my teachers. I've been thinking about this, and I'm sorry to sound corny, but if I come across as arrogant, it is not my intent. I just need to express this the best way I can and the most truthful way I can so that I can learn from my mistakes.

Gassho,

Risho

[Rich]

Thanks Galen and Risho for your clarifying thoughts.

I think that even if there is no grasping the practice life is sometimes not that great. But experiencing the not so greatness is the correct choice instead of living in a dream or denial. imho

Like Ganto everyone wants a quick fix, a right answer - but that's not how it works. Its more like brushing your teeth every day

[Risho]

Like Ganto everyone wants a quick fix, a right answer - but that's not how it works. Its more like brushing your teeth every day

Boom! The hammer!

Gassho,

Risho

Edit: I just thought I better clarify. "Boom! The hammer!" is a funny slang idiom I say when something hits the target for me.

[galen]

It was with great pleasure Risho, if in any way you needed help in expressing your ego in such an eloquent way.

Does anyone come across arrogant intentionally?

In `essence is there a difference in what could be called arrogant and what might be considered humble?

In all-knowing, does it take a higher seat then in what looks or sounds like the fool? Can there be anything other then a beginners mind?

Well done, Risho.


Gassho

galen

[galen]

Thanks Galen and Risho for your clarifying thoughts.

I think that even if there is no grasping the practice life is sometimes not that great. But experiencing the not so greatness is the correct choice instead of living in a dream or denial. imho

Like Ganto everyone wants a quick fix, a right answer - but that's not how it works. Its more like brushing your teeth every day

Do you mean these teeth ? That was `rich!


Gassho

galen