BOOK OF EQUANIMITY- case 20

[Taigu]

Pretty close Samsara, too intimate? too close?

Be simple

and thank youfor your answer


gassho


T.

[Taigu]

Dear JC,

Military.

Your style is military style.

It can be known... "by the Way"

gassho as is

Taigu

[Jishin]

Please consider these questions:


When you get up, what happens then?

I say shit!


Does not knowing has a colour or shape?

No.


Does it speak?

No.


How big are the legs?

No legs.


How far its arms can reach out?

No arms.


How to know not knowing?

Don't know.


How can it be known?

Can not.


Where are you in this knowing?

Don't know.


Still there?

I think so.


Gassho in not knowing



Taigu

Gassho back,

JC

[Ed]

Don't know. Sharp blade slices wart on tip of my nose. Understanding has ruined it.

Gassho, sensei.

[Thane]

Sorry my response is continued i pressed reply by mistake.

That not knowing is not an intellectual game but much more. In fact it is the most intimate. A lovely teaching and reminder.

Gassho

Thane

[Thane]

Hi everyone.

This koan really spoke to me. I find it can be easy to be caught up in the mind and grasp after a state of not knowing of a feeling of i have cracked it now. I can remember coming back from sesshing thinking that i had cracked the practice. Time usually showed it wasnt as simple as that!

This koan spoke to me as it reminded me,at a time of over thinking,

[AlanLa]

I do know this: The ability to admit to not knowing is a serious sign of maturity. Most of us go through this phase of late childhood where we think we have it all figured out, and then we spend of the rest of our lives learning that we really don't know all that much after all. I think this is especially true in terms of spiritual maturity. I also know that I am concerned about those that think they really do know. But what do I know?

Zazen is about disengagement from the life narrative that I am constantly creating, even the buddhist narrative, and maybe especially from the zazen narrative; it's the dropping of knowing, the non-act of not-knowing, such a futile and beautiful non-exercise.

[Risho]

Rich Thank you! When I answered "I don't know", I didn't know, but it wasn't the don't know that you and Kojip are talking about. This post just rang a bell: Beginner's Mind....

Gassho,

Risho

[Rich]

"Don't check, just do" and "Only don't know" .

I think this is the same as just sitting. I use to check myself constantly now I'm more into checking other people's speech and feelings and how best to respond (help the situation). No kind of checking would be the ideal. Failure is part of the landscape but 'don't know' leaves you open to success. Rambling of the day.

[RichardH]

Did a lot of practice with the local Kwan Um group a couple of years back. They had a great little Zendo that was shared with the Dharma Drum folks. There wasn't much talk and they were very disciplined. It's not everyone's cup of tea but I felt at home with that style. Two things frequently repeated.. "Don't check, just do" and "Only don't know" . I always found the term "Don't check" very direct . No checking, no being sure.... not sure what's what... haven't "got it"......no getting. Arms swinging around looking for something to hold? ....nothing to hold. Don't get it, don't know, no reaching, no getting.

[galen]

This is one of those "right on the tip of my tongue", "I had it and then lost it" maddeningly close, "I can almost touch it" feeling things.

For me, "don't know" can change to "don't care because it isn't important to ME" if I'm not careful.

Gassho


Shugen

Intriguing post, Shugen.

You seem to be all over It.

It may be that this feeling thing, right on the tip of your tongue, had it and lost it, is the voice of the intuition, that can't quite fight through the ego that we all have come accustom to being The voice. Could it be the 'don't know' (but is the Knowing), changing to the 'don't care' when the 'me takes over if I'm not careful' (giving in to the ego [me]), the same tip of the tongue situation of the ego once again winning or over powering the softer Knowing that can only be known by sitting with it? It might be you are so close, just a little more patience and 'a nudge of just letting go a little more', without clinging to this feeling that is so close it gets chased away, the Way? It does not seem to be something that can be thought of or figured but, sitting with feeling and letting the body do the rest.

You seemingly are right there, so close, not only is it on the tip, you can taste it. One blink of the eye, one breath, one heart beat away, but not away all the time or gone, but right here and now. You seem so close Shugen. You may even 'feel' some relief by sharing this here, something that could open to the profoundness of the real you.

Thanks for sharing this.


Gassho

[Shugen]

This is one of those "right on the tip of my tongue", "I had it and then lost it" maddeningly close, "I can almost touch it" feeling things.

For me, "don't know" can change to "don't care because it isn't important to ME" if I'm not careful.

Gassho


Shugen

[RichardH]

Please consider these questions:

When you get up, what happens then?

Does not knowing has a colour or shape?
Does it speak?
How big are the legs?
How far its arms can reach out?
How to know not knowing?
How can it be known?
Where are you in this knowing?
Still there?


Gassho in not knowing

Taigu

Thank you, Taigu.

[Heisoku]

Thanks Al that is a really wonderful image.

I don't know either.

[AlanLa]

I find it curious that we are asked to not know, yet we rely on those that do know (not knowing), namely Jundo and Taigu, to help us in our not knowing. One thing I do know is that the more I pay attention to what I know up in my head the less my heart hears the cries of the world. It's knowing that seems to create separation, which means less intimacy.

Going back to Mt. Sumeru for a moment, I picture a Native American and a geologist on the same mountain. The Indian experiences the mountain as sacred ground while the geologist can tell you all about the make up of the mountain, how it came to be, etc. Both see the mountain clearly and deeply, yet each sees it through their own respective ego lens. Which of them is most intimate with the mountain? The non-knowing answer would seem to be the Indian, because of sacredness over knowledge, but I think the answer is none of the above. I think there is a place for both because there is plenty of room on Mt. Sumeru. But maybe there needs to be a third person in the story, some singular traveler that wanders onto the mountain and sees it as just that, lives on it and with it as just a home, a place of shelter and source of provision. Or maybe this wanderer sees the mountain not as a sacred or geologic or home object, but rather just as a part of himself.

I don't know.