BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 1

[Ola Nelsson]

Re: BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 1

When my youngest child was still a toddler, she fought a bout with MRSA for just over a year. Every time we'd take her to the ER, every time we'd get a positive diagnosis, I would panic. I would be angry, sad, both praying to any god that would hear me and cursing them at the same time for making her go through this.

A different medicine every time, checking for new sores every day, convincing myself that if I didn't keep constant vigil she would die.

The truth of the matter, is that had I stayed silent, smiling, letting the doctors do what they do, the outcome would have been exactly the same. Instead, I raged on the inside, and on the outside. In the end, it is as it was, as it was always going to be.

Gassho
/Ola

[Koshin]

Re: BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 1

When my youngest child was still a toddler, she fought a bout with MRSA for just over a year. Every time we'd take her to the ER, every time we'd get a positive diagnosis, I would panic. I would be angry, sad, both praying to any god that would hear me and cursing them at the same time for making her go through this.

A different medicine every time, checking for new sores every day, convincing myself that if I didn't keep constant vigil she would die.

The truth of the matter, is that had I stayed silent, smiling, letting the doctors do what they do, the outcome would have been exactly the same. Instead, I raged on the inside, and on the outside. In the end, it is as it was, as it was always going to be.

Thanks for sharing Jigetsu... a perfect example

Gassho

[Koshin]

Re: BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 1

Im reading.. But without Jundos leading question i wouldn't understand it.. I came to think of my mothers death and all the feelings I had when it happened. Rage, sadness and bitterness but acceptance..? I have a long way to go..

Gassho
/Ola

I wouldn't understand it without Jundo and all Treeleafers' posts too :wink:
We all have a long way to go...to nowhere. Thanks for sharing

Gassho

[Ray]

Re: BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 1

I have meant to post my experience many times but would read through the thread and would get absorbed in other people's experiences to the point i had nothing to say. I really found that most people really had such insightful things to share.

My limited understanding is that the budha did not utter a word in this teaching in order to teach that if you are waiting for "something to happen or something amazing to be said" that you have missed the bus.

My experience of adding things that do not need to be said is the over justification and over explaning of my actions in the workplace or at home when it is not necessary. Most of the time it is not and i am only defending the false self. I do understand that sometimes one may need to explain and justify but most of the time it is not so important. It is like the monk in the story that was falsly blamed by the village for getting a young girl pregnant and he would respond by saying "is that so?" he then looked after a baby with all the love and care as if it were his own. When the real father was found , they all came to say sorry and the entire village felt very bad he responded by saying"is that so?"

In my limited view i feel He is an inspiration to my practice.

Gassho