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Someone wrote to ask about the passing thoughts, the conversations with oneself which will arise in our heads during Shikantaza. It is often said that, while we do not strive to forcibly stop the thoughts and chatter of the mind in Zazen, neither should we indulge in thought, join in or stir up our thoughts. So, what does it mean to "open the hand of thought" and "let go of thinking" in Zazen?
Here are a couple of good analogies I've heard:
First, imagine what it would be like to be at a party and to witness a conversation happening across the room between two people, but you simply do not join in or feel concern about the topic. In fact, you do not even pay attention to what is being said. You are seated across the room as they chatter, seeing the room and hearing all the murmur, but feeling equanimity and no particular care about what's going on. You are sitting in peace, even if it seems quite a heated conversation. You sit as mere witness, not jumping into anyone's arguments and debate or idle chitchat. Every once in awhile the room will grow very quiet, but other times sounds and talking may be heard. You sit unconcerned in any case, neither demanding quiet, nor rejecting quiet, nor bothered by the noise ... allowing all, just the same.
That party is in your own head. You do not seek to silence the party goers. But neither do you jump into their conversations. This is how we enjoy this Zazen party! And if finding yourself in a heated discussion and debate or silly chitchat, step gently away, return to just observing from your sitting place.
Do not engage the inner conversation, be untangled from the inner conversation. Leave your concerns, opinions and debating for later ... after Zazen (there will be plenty of time for that after.) Sit hearing but not judging, whether words or silence.
If finding yourself engaged in some conversation, quietly step out of the discussion ... leave the discussion and debate and return to the open space in the room, to equanimity. Return to following the breath or "open awareness" of everything and nothing in particular. When thoughts come again, allow them to do so ... but do not engage. Let the party goers have their silly conversation, but you do not need to be part of it. If becoming engaged in the discussion again, gently and easily return to the breath or open awareness.
Do this again and again. We say "10,000 times and 10,000 times again."
Another excellent analogy is that thoughts are like passing cars on a road through your mind, and you just do not get in, do not go along for the ride. Between each car, there is quiet and empty road. You neither demand nor reject empty road. However, it is all the same to you ... cars or silent road ... you just let it all be, don't climb on board, take it all the same.
Our way is not to stop thoughts completely. However, by sitting such way, one will find that the open, clear, unobstructed feeling between thoughts, and the thoughts themselves, actually are not two, are just the same. A light shines even through our thoughts. Thoughts come, emotions come, problems in life exist ... and yet, while Just Sitting ... we are untangled and clear no matter what comes. The silence of the room and the chatter are each other ... the cars are the open road, the open road is also the speeding cars. In fact, as the mind stops resisting and borders soften, room and space and sound and sitting, road and quiet and cars and you ... lose their separation.
After Zazen, you can return to the party with all its conversations, or go for a drive ... but maybe now, the open, clear, unobstructed sense will still be in heart even as you hear all the debates and noise of this world, as you see all the busy and honking traffic of life. It is then like being at a noisy party, or on a chaotic highway, while having the silence and openness in heart too.
There is no need to taste this untangled clarity, the quiet and stillness amid the noise and complexity, in every single moment of every sitting. It is okay if it is just sometimes during sitting. Soon, the equanimity, stillness and ease will find their place within, deep within you, no matter how much the world chatters and rushes past.
Gassho, J
stlah
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