November 15-16th Treeleaf Weekly Zazenkai: Lion's Pose with the Differently Abled

[Meian]

I was particularly thrilled to see you there live, two way with me Kim that I discreetly gestured to my partner to come and see everyone reclined.
A genuinely brilliant experience.
Gassho
Anna
st

Anna, likewise, your presence inspires me. [emoji885]

When I'm overwhelmed I either shut down or I get very emotional. Last night I was in tears for part of Zazenkai. I was fidgeting, shifting, doing as I normally do - because of traveling throbbing pain - but I was relieved that I wasn't bothering anyone and no one seemed to even notice my movements.

It took me some time to relax into it - I am so used to silencing myself to make others comfortable - but I think it was at the kinhin when Jundo gave the alternative, that I realized -- here was a way that didn't involve tripping, bumping, balance issues, other stuff -- and it really was okay! Some days I'm fine, other days not so much. Last night was very painful (don't know why), and again today.

But, once I realized it was cool, I breathed with the pain and frustration (cried again, it just kept coming), instead of feeling weird about it. Then it was like a normal zazen for me -- reclining with what is, as I am, no labels, just existing, the pain is, I'm breathing, my body is tired, my mind is tired, and it's all tired of fighting. For now, it does not. It simply exists.

And I felt safe and content not to be alone last night. If it's ok, I may recline zazenkai again, even for regular Zazenkai.... ? I've always done 1-way, but maybe I'll be brave?

Like the Maccabeats sing "I wanna see you be brave..." ?

Gassho
Kim
St lh

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[Shonin Risa Bear]

I felt a surprising amount of relief from ever present spine-related pain. Hmm. _()_

A member of my local brick-and-mortar sangha who is a polio survivor does her Ino duties from a "zero gravity chair." The chair is in a little nook (so as not to trip us up during kinhin) that has a portrait of Bodhidharma in it looking fierce. We tell her she's in Bodhidharma's cave. I'm thinking maybe I should save up for one of those chairs.

gassho
doyu sat today/LAH

[Onka]

Anna, likewise, your presence inspires me. [emoji885]

When I'm overwhelmed I either shut down or I get very emotional. Last night I was in tears for part of Zazenkai. I was fidgeting, shifting, doing as I normally do - because of traveling throbbing pain - but I was relieved that I wasn't bothering anyone and no one seemed to even notice my movements.

It took me some time to relax into it - I am so used to silencing myself to make others comfortable - but I think it was at the kinhin when Jundo gave the alternative, that I realized -- here was a way that didn't involve tripping, bumping, balance issues, other stuff -- and it really was okay! Some days I'm fine, other days not so much. Last night was very painful (don't know why), and again today.

But, once I realized it was cool, I breathed with the pain and frustration (cried again, it just kept coming), instead of feeling weird about it. Then it was like a normal zazen for me -- reclining with what is, as I am, no labels, just existing, the pain is, I'm breathing, my body is tired, my mind is tired, and it's all tired of fighting. For now, it does not. It simply exists.

And I felt safe and content not to be alone last night. If it's ok, I may recline zazenkai again, even for regular Zazenkai.... ? I've always done 1-way, but maybe I'll be brave?

Like the Maccabeats sing "I wanna see you be brave..." ?

Gassho
Kim
St lh

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Brilliant!
I have difficulties with balance and pain when walking. I recently asked Jundo about doing kinhin while using a walking stick or pole. I find holding a bamboo pole (or broomstick) in both hands in front of me for stability to work ok for me.
In saying that, using the finger walking technique Jundo employed was a new and awesome experience for me.
I'm so happy that this Zazenkai worked well for you Kim. You are definitely not alone in regards to needing to move regularly or even move involuntary. This Zazenkai was for all of us perfectly imperfect misfits who do a daily dance with physical or mental wellness.
Gassho
Anna
st

[Onka]

I felt a surprising amount of relief from ever present spine-related pain. Hmm. _()_

A member of my local brick-and-mortar sangha who is a polio survivor does her Ino duties from a "zero gravity chair." The chair is in a little nook (so as not to trip us up during kinhin) that has a portrait of Bodhidharma in it looking fierce. We tell her she's in Bodhidharma's cave. I'm thinking maybe I should save up for one of those chairs.

gassho
doyu sat today/LAH

The zero gravity chair sounds lovely. I have something similar that I use when doing zazen or reading outdoors. I love hearing stories of adaption like this because it gives me reassurance that my spinal disabilities won't be a barrier to me becoming a Priest one day. My intelligence on the other hand... LOL!
Gassho
Anna
st

[Onka]

Alter-abled ancestor Chudapanthaka (varied spellings are available) is one of my all time favorites.

gassho
doyu sat today

Thank you for this Doyu
Gassho
Anna
st

[Seishin]

Sat/reclined on demand. I reclined for the first zazen session but my hips and knees objected - something I experience most nights, so I sat for the second session I'm afraid.
Great to see everyone practising like this all the same.

Std

[Ippo]

What a nice Zazenkai!

Full disclosure, I was far to tired to lay this Zazenkai with you all live Saturday a.m. I was great to lie none-the-less. I think I might make this a monthly practice. I used to meditate lying down all the time when I was sick. For all those suffering, I wish you happiness, health and a speedy recovery. I wish all well to others too!

Thank you Jundo and everyone,

Gassho,

Brad

SatToday

[Jundo]

What a nice Zazenkai!

Full disclosure, I was far to tired to lay this Zazenkai with you all live Saturday a.m.....y

Thank you for your honesty, not lying about lying.

Gassho,

STLah

[Meian]

I love hearing stories of adaption like this because it gives me reassurance that my spinal disabilities won't be a barrier to me becoming a Priest one day. My intelligence on the other hand... LOL!
Gassho
Anna
st

Anna, you are far too intelligent for "intelligence" to be a barrier for you in anything. We learn differently, for sure, but that means teaching for our individual learning styles, it does *not* mean we can't learn

For me, I have other issues going on that cast a long dark shadow over life sometimes, and I have fought this battle too often for many years. It's such an irony how in the US they always say "seek help" as though it's as easy as picking up a phone and voila! you're connected and everything is peachy. It doesn't work that way. There are so many barriers to access in the American mental health system, no wonder we're so messed up as a nation (to put it mildly). Something else I have had to go my own way on because I have no other options.

It's hard to see progress or milestones when you're in the thick of it, but Anna, I see so many good qualities in you, and connections with you reaching out, and learning and growing also. Take heart, and keep on keeping on -- don't let go! Your determination and enthusiasm are amazing, and I think you inspire plenty of people here. You may not see how you're coming along, but I sure do -- and I'm certain that others do as well.


kim
st lh

[Myoku]

Thank you everyone, i was more tired than usually,
Gassho
Myoku
sat

[Hokin]

Hello Bodhisattvas!
I just finished sat/laid down this just a moment ago, since I couldn't join live.
Thank you for the opportunity!
It's been quite challenging...and the challenge laid down.

Gassho.
Arya.
Sat/Laid down Today.

[Shonin Risa Bear]

doing kinhin while using a walking stick or pole.

Two of our brick-and-mortar ( one of whom is me) use walking sticks for kinhin. I have been known to use TWO sticks for forest kinhin, which runs about 40 minutes. Those unable to do the forest kinhin (also sometimes me) circumabulate on the veranda of the zendo while the others are in the woods.

kinhin_line.png

The zendo (a private home on a mountain) is not very accessible and there is a member who has a walker (and a wheelchair in their car). On days when they have registered for a retreat, we split the zendo into an upstairs (Shakyamuni altar) and downstairs (Kannon altar) zendos with coordinated Ino signals. Whatever works! _()_

gassho
doyu sat today

[Hokin]

I was just reading the commentaries...I would like to say that I personally enjoyed reclined zazen with you (even though not live) because it's a different approach but just really is not at all. I mean...I find the sitting posture very good and helpful in so many ways...if you can...sitting is ok...but if you can't...any posture is ok all the same! If we cannot "shikantaza" while laying, how can we expect we "shikantaza" always and everywhere, even when "brushing teeth"(even missing ones...I am personally 3 off...), or washing our hands or doing the dishes, or buying stuff at the departmental store or whatever else!? I think that, besides posture (which is of course VERY important, no matter which...) what is really important is that the mind sit!
I think we could say that if the mind sits everything is shikantaza...also because body and mind are also the same...and different at the same time.
With this I don't absolutely mean to say that we can or should "do away with" the posture, which I think should be very much cared of, indeed!
That is why I am so much appreciating Jundo and this sangha every day a bit more...because it is POINTING US TO "SHIKANTAZA" VERY MUCH TO THE POINT OF SHIKANTAZA ITSELF!

Thank you!
Gassho.
Arya.
ST& LAH.

[Heiso]

Thank you everyone, I reclined with you all on demand although I suspect I may have been a little too comfortable at one point and might have drifted off.

Gassho

Neil
StLah

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[Kokuu]

What a wonderful zazenkai!

As with many others, I found it incredibly moving to see you all in the posture from which I regularly 'sit'. Since I will be leading at least one session at Rohatsu I at least will be doing this again and there may be other reclining priests leading zazen and kinhin.

Reclining bows to you all
Kokuu