NOTE: THIS IS MY VERBOSE LONG VERSION OF MY ADVISE TO TOBY. I ADVISE TO GO DOWN A FEW POSTS AND READ THE SHORT VERSION (HOWEVER, BE SURE NOT TO MISS THE POST RIGHT AFTER THIS ONE, AND BYOKAN AND JISHIN'S WORDS TOO, ON THE WAY!) 
A couple of comments on Shikantaza that I would like to highlight; This first came in response to my post on "WHAT's OFTEN MISSING in SHIKANTAZA EXPLANATIONS" (LINK), where I wrote ...
In response, Toby wrote ...
You ask why someone might find it difficult?
Because Practice in any art ... Zen or piano or woodworking or medicine ... is difficult. Because it is difficult for human beings to give up the chasing, comparing, judging and complaining!
If someone is not feeling "this is the only place to be", it is probably because part of them is thinking or feeling that they should be some place else right then. If someone is feeling "this is not complete", it is because they are somehow comparing it to something else and judging the experience as lacking somehow. If they do not feel "this is timeless", it may be because they are somehow measuring by the clock, comparing now to before and after. It is hard to put away and halt the comparing and thoughts of other places and times. Sitting is practice in learning how to do just that.
But actually, it does not sound like you are doing so badly after 5 months! You say "I sit without judgement, desire or anger and know that I can carry this with me throughout the day. Yes some days are harder than others and someone or something may just push the wrong button too far but generally I feel I am more accepting of what's going with me and inside and around me." Sounds like a great start.
In fact, it only seems like things are going badly if you imagine and compare yourself to some kind of robot or Zen superman who just has perfect sittings, never a thought of wanting to be somewhere else, never experiencing or prone to an angry or ugly thought. Sorry to inform everyone, but so long as you are alive in a human body, you are a human being. This practice (like any art) is not about perfection. (In my book, the only perfect Buddhas and Zen Masters are the dead ones that people can make up perfect stories about). One can be a master violinist but sometimes hit a bad note, a master carpenter but sometimes splinter the wood, a master surgeon but sometimes slip and harm a patient. We are human. Right now, after 5 months of Zen or violin class or medical school, you are starting to get good at it, but you are not a master yet. Do you know the saying "Rome was not built in a day"?
But, yes, I am asking you to have faith, and to "fake it until you make it", that sitting is complete. Do so until you come to feel it in the bones. Why? Three reasons:
First, just scan the internet, listen to political discussion or open any religious holy book and you will see that people ... all of us ... convince ourselves of all manner of truly ridiculous things each day, much of it with any basis. Certainly, being asked to believe in the fact that "just sitting is complete" or "there is no other place to go or thing to do in this moment" is not as ridiculous or challenging as so many of those other beliefs!
Second, certain beliefs in life become true simply because you believe them. All the faith in the world that "the earth is flat" or "unicorns live in Africa" or "the moon is made of green cheese" will not make it so (although I guaranty that you will find certain people convinced of each of those on the internet!
). On the other hand, beliefs and feelings such as "I love you and you are a treasure in my life" and "cherry ice cream is delicious (to me anyway) and sweet on my tongue" and "mountains are beautiful (to me anyway)" or "not one note should be changed in Beethoven's 5th Symphony (to my ear anyway)" are all true for you simply because you feel so (as are unfortunately so many of our feelings of disquiet, disgust and negativity which are as much subjectively arising as founded in objective fact). Sitting with the sensation and judgment that "just sitting is a treasure, delicious and sweet, beautiful without one note to change in the Zazen symphony" is also true simply because we learn to convince ourselves subjectively of the fact. If you say it is incomplete, then it is. If you say it is complete, then it is.
Third, if you do not learn to rest in stillness and completeness, you will continue to chase after the next thing and the next, always dissatisfied and judging in life. The only way to stop doing so is to learn to sit and rest beyond all that. We learn to be "Big S" Satisfied even in this world that is sometimes satisfying but sometimes anything but satisfying, to be "Big P" at Peace with a world that is sometimes peaceful and sometimes shattered into pieces. We learn to experience a Buddha's View of the world that is somehow quiet and whole and somehow beautiful even for all its noisy, chaotic, broken, sometimes tragic and ugly aspects. If you cannot learn to find that in something as simple as sitting, how easily will you get that in other actions and situations in life?
So, I guess I am asking you to trust some more, give it time, and let it sink in. Suddenly, only day, it will be clear (although it may slip away for awhile the next. Back and forth). That is okay, that is to be human too. One day you will just feel it and know it deep down, "Oh, sitting is complete ... there is no place to go ... and so for all of life."
Gassho, J
SatToday
A couple of comments on Shikantaza that I would like to highlight; This first came in response to my post on "WHAT's OFTEN MISSING in SHIKANTAZA EXPLANATIONS" (LINK), where I wrote ...
Shikantaza Zazen must be sat, for the time it is sat, with the student profoundly trusting deep in her bones that sitting itself is a complete and sacred act, the one and only action that need be done in the whole universe in that instant of sitting. This truth should not be thought about or voiced in so many words, but must be silently and subtly felt deep down.
...
I tell my new students to trust in the method until it proves itself. If need be, “fake it ‘till you make it” in nurturing these feelings. “Just Sitting is Buddha” is not a mantra that should be voiced in words during Zazen, nor something that must be unfailingly felt at each and every moment of sitting. Rather, there only needs to be a subtle, yet vital sense and faith, felt deep down in the gut while sitting, that “THIS IS IT! THERE IS NO OTHER IT!”
...
I tell my new students to trust in the method until it proves itself. If need be, “fake it ‘till you make it” in nurturing these feelings. “Just Sitting is Buddha” is not a mantra that should be voiced in words during Zazen, nor something that must be unfailingly felt at each and every moment of sitting. Rather, there only needs to be a subtle, yet vital sense and faith, felt deep down in the gut while sitting, that “THIS IS IT! THERE IS NO OTHER IT!”
You ask why someone might find it difficult?
Because Practice in any art ... Zen or piano or woodworking or medicine ... is difficult. Because it is difficult for human beings to give up the chasing, comparing, judging and complaining!
If someone is not feeling "this is the only place to be", it is probably because part of them is thinking or feeling that they should be some place else right then. If someone is feeling "this is not complete", it is because they are somehow comparing it to something else and judging the experience as lacking somehow. If they do not feel "this is timeless", it may be because they are somehow measuring by the clock, comparing now to before and after. It is hard to put away and halt the comparing and thoughts of other places and times. Sitting is practice in learning how to do just that. But actually, it does not sound like you are doing so badly after 5 months! You say "I sit without judgement, desire or anger and know that I can carry this with me throughout the day. Yes some days are harder than others and someone or something may just push the wrong button too far but generally I feel I am more accepting of what's going with me and inside and around me." Sounds like a great start.
In fact, it only seems like things are going badly if you imagine and compare yourself to some kind of robot or Zen superman who just has perfect sittings, never a thought of wanting to be somewhere else, never experiencing or prone to an angry or ugly thought. Sorry to inform everyone, but so long as you are alive in a human body, you are a human being. This practice (like any art) is not about perfection. (In my book, the only perfect Buddhas and Zen Masters are the dead ones that people can make up perfect stories about). One can be a master violinist but sometimes hit a bad note, a master carpenter but sometimes splinter the wood, a master surgeon but sometimes slip and harm a patient. We are human. Right now, after 5 months of Zen or violin class or medical school, you are starting to get good at it, but you are not a master yet. Do you know the saying "Rome was not built in a day"?
But, yes, I am asking you to have faith, and to "fake it until you make it", that sitting is complete. Do so until you come to feel it in the bones. Why? Three reasons:
First, just scan the internet, listen to political discussion or open any religious holy book and you will see that people ... all of us ... convince ourselves of all manner of truly ridiculous things each day, much of it with any basis. Certainly, being asked to believe in the fact that "just sitting is complete" or "there is no other place to go or thing to do in this moment" is not as ridiculous or challenging as so many of those other beliefs!
Second, certain beliefs in life become true simply because you believe them. All the faith in the world that "the earth is flat" or "unicorns live in Africa" or "the moon is made of green cheese" will not make it so (although I guaranty that you will find certain people convinced of each of those on the internet!
). On the other hand, beliefs and feelings such as "I love you and you are a treasure in my life" and "cherry ice cream is delicious (to me anyway) and sweet on my tongue" and "mountains are beautiful (to me anyway)" or "not one note should be changed in Beethoven's 5th Symphony (to my ear anyway)" are all true for you simply because you feel so (as are unfortunately so many of our feelings of disquiet, disgust and negativity which are as much subjectively arising as founded in objective fact). Sitting with the sensation and judgment that "just sitting is a treasure, delicious and sweet, beautiful without one note to change in the Zazen symphony" is also true simply because we learn to convince ourselves subjectively of the fact. If you say it is incomplete, then it is. If you say it is complete, then it is. Third, if you do not learn to rest in stillness and completeness, you will continue to chase after the next thing and the next, always dissatisfied and judging in life. The only way to stop doing so is to learn to sit and rest beyond all that. We learn to be "Big S" Satisfied even in this world that is sometimes satisfying but sometimes anything but satisfying, to be "Big P" at Peace with a world that is sometimes peaceful and sometimes shattered into pieces. We learn to experience a Buddha's View of the world that is somehow quiet and whole and somehow beautiful even for all its noisy, chaotic, broken, sometimes tragic and ugly aspects. If you cannot learn to find that in something as simple as sitting, how easily will you get that in other actions and situations in life?
So, I guess I am asking you to trust some more, give it time, and let it sink in. Suddenly, only day, it will be clear (although it may slip away for awhile the next. Back and forth). That is okay, that is to be human too. One day you will just feel it and know it deep down, "Oh, sitting is complete ... there is no place to go ... and so for all of life."
Gassho, J
SatToday
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