Anger after zazen

[Jundo]

I sometimes experience a roller coaster of emotions during zazen, usually during high stress times when a confluence of events leads to a lack of necessary quiet downtime. This is a powder keg for me, but Jundo's "mind theatre" phrase and "observe and let it go" instructions have been instrumental in my surviving these times, and in navigating the panic this tends to cause within me. Simply put - I remember they are illusion, not reality or truth, and I loosen my grip and watch them fly by.

Makes the temporary chaos of my life easier to manage

This is the way. Don't buy into it, don't get suckered. It is just changing theatre, and 20 minutes later the world will likely appear very different as our mood and passing emotions change. All just hormones flowing away in the blood chemistry.

Also, Shikantaza the experience as best one can by not grabbing on, letting it be, just breathing as needed. This is Shikantaza that does not require a Zafu cushion, but which can be done standing, walking, in the office or at home, just upright and in life.

Introducing Insta-Zazen! ©

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?7686-Sit-a-Long-with-Jundo-Zazen-for-Beginners-%28Part-XX%29

Also, consider to offer Metta for the person or persons who may be a trigger to the anger.

RECOMMENDED DAILY Metta PRACTICE

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?6020-RECOMMENDED-DAILY-Metta-PRACTICE

Also, play with planting Nurturing Seeds to replace the seeds of anger.

RECOMMENDED DAILY Nurturing Seeds PRACTICE

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?6540-RECOMMENDED-DAILY-Nurturing-Seeds-PRACTICE

Also, besides thinking of it as "mind theatre", think of such moods as just changing weather, observe and allow the emotion just as one would accept and allow the stormy rain to fall and thunder to rumble. Immediately, it will lose much of its power.

In “Just Sitting” Zazen Practice, we learn to take life like the weather … Whatever comes, comes.
http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...28Part-XIII%29

Finally, remember that thinking anger is not speaking anger, and it is certainly not an act of violence. Cut yourself some slack. Even monks lose it sometimes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9Cwp-q1dpk

These guys are either debating theories of "Emptiness" ... or Hillary vs. Bernie vs. The Donald ...

Gassho, J

[Joyo]

Jundo and Kim.....thank you for everything that you said here.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[Jakuden]

funny.jpg

This came up when I was searching for a photo to link to this thread on Facebook. Made me giggle

Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday

[Sekishi]

This came up when I was searching for a photo to link to this thread on Facebook. Made me giggle

This might be an appropriate mudra to those comments like "I thought you were a Buddhist, aren't you BEYOND that sort of thing?" [emoji23]

Gassho,
Sekishi

#sattoday

[Ongen]

Jundo that video is quite entertaining. I'm especially enjoying the older monk who stands there undisturbed throughout the video

Gassho
Ongen

Sat today

[Meian]

Jundo, just wanted to say - thank you, thank you, thank you - for this. I read this last night, been thinking on it, will practice it. Loved the video, needed that, so even monks have their moments.

This really helps. Many bows.

Gassho
Kim
Sat today

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

[Enjaku]

Thank you all for this thread. Although I have little to add, I can say that simmering feelings of anger, or more often anxiety in my case, are often revealed during zazen.

Jakuden - I smiled at your mention of ox herding. For me, this is one of the most powerful images that I can relate to in Buddhism. I often look at the pictures.

Thank you everyone for your comments and openness.
Gassho,
Sat,
Alex

[Kyotai]

I am sometimes surprised when I experience anger boiling over, after years of zazen. Often judging my self and those thoughts when they rise. But, I will say, I am much better at letting those emotions evaporate then I once was.

Gassho, Kyotai
ST

[Mp]

I am sometimes surprised when I experience anger boiling over, after years of zazen. Often judging my self and those thoughts when they rise. But, I will say, I am much better at letting those emotions evaporate then I once was.

Gassho, Kyotai
ST

Very good point Kyotai ... even though we may have been practicing for many years, we are all still human. =)

We all have these feelings, it is a part of being human, but over time this practice helps us be less tramped by these conditions and allowing us to just be in each and every moment just as it is.

Gassho
Shingen

s@today


Sent from my mobile, cause I am out & about! =)

[Seishin]

Kliff / All

Many thanks for posting this article, as it and the subsequent responses and comments - especially Jundo's Fire Management 'feature' - have put me in a better place.

After just 10 days with Treeleaf and sitting daily, I've just had two 'nightmare' practice days, that have left me frustrated, irritated angry confused big style. Yesterday my zafu felt like a razor blade while my old legs sat in seiza and my mind was just full of thoughts. This morning was worse, I changed my zafu position but could not settle. No sunny intervals just a full blown eclipse! But my mind's not thinking about life problems relationship in general etc, its been more about Zen, breathing posture, sitting, Mickey Mouse rainwear you name it. I gasshoed and changed position a few times but could not settle and started to get wound up. When I did finally start to settle down a post on scale linking from my guitar forum filled my mind. Arrggh. I stewed on this for a few hours afterwards, wondering why it was happening, what I was doing wrong and if I'd made a mistake joining the community. Had I put too much pressure on myself in doing so - I could not remember a worse experience when I'd sat in the past on my own. Decided I'd see how the day panned out and maybe drop Shigen a message for advice.

Got home after my Friday bread run and dog walk and saw this thread and wow, relief its not just me. Its just how I'm dealing with it. All my life I've known I just need to let go but saying and doing are so very different in practice. Anyway I guess this has been a reality check or non-reality check.

In retrospect I think I've either taken a Zen overdose, in what I've been reading over the last couple of months and especially the last week (read Suzuki's ZMBM again since joining!! Working through Shobogenzo) let alone the forum stuff or its probably just analysis paralysis. But without this thread I might have given up. Going to ease up for a few days and just go with the flow when I sit and take it moment by moment,

So thank you folks and gassho many times over.

[Mp]

Seishin-Do

Zazen is not instant, it is life long. Just as life is life long, so too are those uncomfortable days or days we wish we could do without. What ever arises in your sitting let arise, try not to be chasing good zazen and pushing away or being discouraged by bad zazen ... in zazen, there is no good or bad, but zazen itself ... whole and complete. =)

Of course we don't want to torture ourselves either, doing so will just discourage us even more. Allow yourself time to sit with discomfort, but also allow yourself to put discomfort aside and do something that encourages you. Balance I feel is the key. Make sense? =)

Gassho
Shingen

s@today


Sent from my mobile, cause I am out & about! =)

[Jakuden]

I just listened to a recent talk by Michael Yukon Grody, on ZMM's podcasts, called "reacting and responding." In the very beginning he describes how he has sat sesshin for half his life now, and how there is that deep settled feeling at the end of sesshin, after the long period of silence and meditation... then he says after it is ended, a person might come up and say ONE WORD to him and he's already "deep in the sh*t."

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday

[Seishin]

Seishin-Do

Zazen is not instant, it is life long. Just as life is life long, so too are those uncomfortable days or days we wish we could do without. What ever arises in your sitting let arise, try not to be chasing good zazen and pushing away or being discouraged by bad zazen ... in zazen, there is no good or bad, but zazen itself ... whole and complete. =)

Of course we don't want to torture ourselves either, doing so will just discourage us even more. Allow yourself time to sit with discomfort, but also allow yourself to put discomfort aside and do something that encourages you. Balance I feel is the key. Make sense? =)

Gassho
Shingen

s@today


Sent from my mobile, cause I am out & about! =)

Shigen

Rome was truly not built in a day. Seeing the responses here just reaffirms we are all the same at the end of the day - be it good or bad or just Day. As Jundo says we are all beginners. Tomorrow is another day but I'm happy to take each one as it comes. The balance I'm sure will come with time and patience.

[Mp]

balance I'm sure will come with time and patience.

Yes, it sure will. =)

Gassho
Shingen

s@today

[Hoko]

I just listened to a recent talk by Michael Yukon Grody, on ZMM's podcasts, called "reacting and responding." In the very beginning he describes how he has sat sesshin for half his life now, and how there is that deep settled feeling at the end of sesshin, after the long period of silence and meditation... then he says after it is ended, a person might come up and say ONE WORD to him and he's already "deep in the sh*t."

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday

HA! I just listened to that one on the road to Oregon.
I thought that was a pretty slick observation.

Funny that we talk about "the way is easy; just avoid having preferences" until we get up off the cushion and there's nothing BUT choices all day, every day.

Gassho,
-K2
#SatToday