"Dealing with Difficult Emotions" - thoughts on podcasts and Zazen

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  • Meian
    Member
    • Apr 2015
    • 1722

    "Dealing with Difficult Emotions" - thoughts on podcasts and Zazen

    The last thread I found on this topic was, I believe, from 2010 perhaps. So I am just starting my own.

    Today in transit for work, I was listening to two podcasts: Jundo's talk that discussed the priest training program at TreeLeaf, and how Buddhism needs to fit your life in all aspects (or why practice it?), and also a talk from Secular Buddhism (Noah Trevor, I believe) that spoke on "Dealing with Difficult Emotions". Both of these talks got to the heart of something I've been struggling with for a very long time.

    I don't think I am wording this correctly. But I will try.

    The concept of "being present" and not fighting or resisting one's emotions, or labeling an emotion as bad, or wrong or "shouldn't" is very new to me. My background is one of being labeled - weird, odd, emotional, needing to be fixed, etc. So listening to Buddhist talks about accepting emotions as is, being present with emotions, but recognizing that we are not the emotions and the emotions are not us - this was mind-boggling for me. It was also rather liberating and a relief, and I spent the afternoon ...... feeling peace. Was quite strange. Nothing had changed. I just saw my circumstances and my emotions differently, and did not feel imprisoned by them in that moment. I just felt peace, and acceptance - of myself.

    After I got home from work, I decided I was going to sit, for as long as I could. I got my errands done, cleared everything out, and did my longest sit yet (laying down, due to unrelenting back pain), but being present within all the muck I've been dealing with. "Thinking not thinking" of the lotus and its symbolism, and of the rakusu.

    My practice today took on a whole new meaning for me - because it can go to those dark places, and BE in those dark places, and walk (sit?) me through to the other side.

    Gassho
    Kim
    Sat today _/\_
    鏡道 |​ Kyodo (Meian) | "Mirror of the Way"
    visiting Unsui
    Nothing I say is a teaching, it's just my own opinion.
  • Sekishi
    Treeleaf Priest
    • Apr 2013
    • 5671

    #2
    Originally posted by allwhowander
    My practice today took on a whole new meaning for me - because it can go to those dark places, and BE in those dark places, and walk (sit?) me through to the other side.
    I don't know how to say this without sounding like a Zen cliche, but yes, in a sense there is no darkness and no light. Both are subjective views / concepts from a particular limited perspective. When we touch that which is through and beyond them, we get a glimpse of freedom, and an opportunity to walk directly with whatever manifests. How lovely!

    And yet, when we walk into a room, it is good to flip on the light switch and chase away the dark so we do not stumble and hurt ourselves or others.

    So when "dark places" cause suffering, we take great care too.

    But sometimes I say absurd things, so take that with a huge grain of salt!

    Gassho,
    Sekishi

    #sattoday
    Last edited by Sekishi; 08-27-2016, 12:07 AM.
    Sekishi | 石志 | He/him | Better with a grain of salt, but best ignored entirely.

    Comment

    • derek12261984
      Member
      • May 2016
      • 39

      #3
      Dealing with those difficult emotions can be quite a challenge, but if one is able to establish a sense of non-self then it becomes much easier to sit with those emotions Free of bias.

      Gassho
      Derek
      #sat2day
      "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

      Gassho

      Derek

      Comment

      • Jundo
        Treeleaf Founder and Priest
        • Apr 2006
        • 39982

        #4
        Hi Kim,

        Lovely description from you. One allows negative and excess emotions, yet simply does not buy into their story so easily. We do not grab on so readily, do not get swallowed up and tangled in them so deeply, do not wallow, and know how to release them faster when finding ourselves tangled up nonetheless.

        Actually, we have many many threads dealing with such excess and harmful emotions ... Here are a few, this from yesterday ...

        I wanted to share an experience that happened to me today. So I woke up before the alarm for some odd reason and had my coffee and went to the cushion to sit zazen. Today it was a roller coaster ride with palpitating heart, swirling thoughts and an inexplicable sense of agitation. No imperturbable samadhi for me this time


        Some other discussion:



        Hi everyone, The advice we’re often given in Zazen is to sit and to merely witness thoughts rising and falling. This evokes the image of thoughts being separate from us, almost like they’re occurring in a sort of cognitive slideshow that we’re witnessing. I really struggle with this as whenever my mind quietens sufficiently






        Hi from St. Louis, It's wonderful to have a teacher and a sangha so accessible. It's kind of amazing. Thank you. Practicing shikantaza is new to me. I come from the tradition of vipassana and, most recently, of Joko Beck and Ezra Bayda. Joko and Ezra provide highly skillful ways of working with emotion -- mindfully observing,


        And a personal favorite ... Anger, Playing with Fire ...

        Someone wrote me to ask if Buddhism requires us to abandon most of our passions. Must we forsake all our drive and ambitions for what we wish to achieve in life? Must we be cold people, perhaps unable to passionately and fully love someone deeply, with all our hearts? Must we avoid feeling indignation in the face of injustices


        Breathe, breathe, breathe ...

        By the way, we sit beyond "light" and "dark" (in the western sense of these words ... we were just talking about how the Chinese assigned different meanings to these words ... )

        Case 62 never ends, and so we jump to Case 63, Joshu Asks About [Great] Death ... https://books.google.co.jp/books?id=Cg0sBPvvs0gC&pg=PA196&lpg=PA196&dq=joshu+asks+about+death+book&source=bl&ots=psAqAdMsQD&sig=JOwolVt4JGblrFys46Xs54r2_6s&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiZ7Jy9-dLOAhWBHJQKHVQdD1QQ6AEIID


        Negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, excess fear are just what they are, and we do not resist or judge them. Yet, we do judge them, and seek to be free. This Practice points us toward peace, generosity, acceptance, love ... and other good things. There is a Big L Light which shines through all light and dark.

        Sometimes the easiest way to be free of negative emotions in just to relax, allow and let be ... like escaping from those Chinese fingercuffs in which, the more we pull and resist, the tighter they become!



        Gassho, J

        SatToday
        Last edited by Jundo; 08-27-2016, 04:07 AM.
        ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

        Comment

        • Mp

          #5
          Thank you Kim,

          Going to those dark places is not always easy, but the beauty that can come from just being there is valuable beyond words. Seeing the light within and throughout the darkness is a wonderful thing, I am happy that you have the opportunity to see/experience this "suchness" just as it is/was. =)

          Gassho
          Shingen

          s@today

          Comment

          • Meian
            Member
            • Apr 2015
            • 1722

            #6
            Thank you all for your responses, and for the links, Jundo

            Shingen, thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt words - yes, I can definitely relate. I have experienced that myself, and believe I will again. It is truly a blessing in life to receive.

            Thank you all for sharing with me, and for allowing me to share here with you.

            Gassho
            Kim
            Sat today

            Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk
            鏡道 |​ Kyodo (Meian) | "Mirror of the Way"
            visiting Unsui
            Nothing I say is a teaching, it's just my own opinion.

            Comment

            • Joyo

              #7
              Originally posted by Shingen
              Thank you Kim,

              Going to those dark places is not always easy, but the beauty that can come from just being there is valuable beyond words. Seeing the light within and throughout the darkness is a wonderful thing, I am happy that you have the opportunity to see/experience this "suchness" just as it is/was. =)

              Gassho
              Shingen

              s@today
              Beautiful, thank you for sharing.

              Gassho,
              Joyo
              sat today

              Comment

              • Mp

                #8
                Originally posted by allwhowander
                Thank you all for your responses, and for the links, Jundo

                Shingen, thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt words - yes, I can definitely relate. I have experienced that myself, and believe I will again. It is truly a blessing in life to receive.

                Thank you all for sharing with me, and for allowing me to share here with you.

                Gassho
                Kim
                Sat today

                Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk
                Hey Kim,

                One of my favorite songs came to mind today and I thought .... yes! Just change the name from "You and Me" to "Dharma and Me" and it speaks volumes, enjoy! =)

                rose ave. the debut album from You+Me, available now. Download on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/RoseAve?IQId=ytStream rose ave. on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/R...


                Gassho
                Shingen

                s@today

                Comment

                • Meian
                  Member
                  • Apr 2015
                  • 1722

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Shingen
                  Hey Kim,

                  One of my favorite songs came to mind today and I thought .... yes! Just change the name from "You and Me" to "Dharma and Me" and it speaks volumes, enjoy! =)

                  rose ave. the debut album from You+Me, available now. Download on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/RoseAve?IQId=ytStream rose ave. on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/R...


                  Gassho
                  Shingen

                  s@today

                  Shingen, that was perfect and just what I needed tonight after a challenging day. Thank you. Keeping it.

                  Gassho
                  Kim
                  Sat today
                  鏡道 |​ Kyodo (Meian) | "Mirror of the Way"
                  visiting Unsui
                  Nothing I say is a teaching, it's just my own opinion.

                  Comment

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