Tonight was the first time I did zazen since last November. While doing so, I did notice a few things. One, that I was preoccupied with posture and bodily sensations. At first, I noted how my knees ached (I sat in a half lotus) and that I was thirsty. Later, the bodily sensations diminished but my mind was full of thoughts. Some were half thoughts while others were just notes to myself on counting of breaths. Counting my breath was interesting for I eventually stopped counting and didn't notice it. I know that I didn't fall asleep but time moved very quickly for me. I had planned on doing an initial 15 minute zazen and happened to look up and see that 7 minutes had already gone by without my noticing. My thoughts eventually calmed down to just snippets of things that came to mind. I focused more on breathing. My wife, who slept in the bed next to me, slept peacefully and without my knowing, my breathing matched hers. At times, I felt as if my breathing was being conducted not by me, but by my wife. I know that I have probably done something wrong here and would like to hear any comments anyone would like to add.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed my return to zazen and am looking forward to continuing it tomorrow evening.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed my return to zazen and am looking forward to continuing it tomorrow evening.
. I'm finding so interesting when I sit and a thought buzzes around in my head like a pesky fly and I can't seem to get rid of it. Then a few minutes later I can't remember what on earth the thought was about! :roll:
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