April's Edition of Favorite Teachings Honoring Treeleaf's 10th Anniversary!

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  • Graceleejenkins
    Member
    • Feb 2011
    • 434

    April's Edition of Favorite Teachings Honoring Treeleaf's 10th Anniversary!

    April is our anniversary month!

    This month I have naturally been thinking about beginnings and endings. So, for the month of April, we are featuring two talks by Fugen, one on endings (an oldie) and one on beginnings (a new classic). Other good reasons for choosing these talks for this particular month are: Fugen is the longest-tenured priest at Treeleaf; he and Jannica, both Treeleaf members, just had Noah, the first Treeleaf baby; Fugen’s birthday month is April; and, in the month that contains April Fools’s day, it seems fitting that we recall some talks by someone who is always calling himself an old fool.

    Perfect fit, if I ever saw one! ; )

    So here they are:

    Ex Marks the Spot (scroll to bottom for the video): http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...ighlight=marks
    If a relationship turns bad and ends, it can be very painful if you have cared greatly and have put a lot of yourself into the relationship, and it is easy to let the relationship turn completely bad and ruin all that was beautiful before. In this talk, Fugen reminds us not to do that.

    Kids and Kesas (scroll to bottom for video): http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...ighlight=kesas
    This second talk on babies and kesas, just makes me smile! What can I say? It is joyous, and Fugen so openly and honestly talks about his experiences, even about things unplanned--it is just so like Fugen to share with us as a friend, not just as a teacher and priest.


    On a personal note, when I first listened to Fugen’s talk on ex’s, I remember recalling what I once told my husband, Jim, after we were witnesses to a particularly nasty divorce between a couple we knew. I said that I could see how divorces might get so nasty, because if you ever cared for someone deeply, you would never split up in the first place, unless things had come to that state. Then, half jokingly, I warned Jim that if we ever broke up, he had better take his pop bottle collection out of the house first, because I would open all of the “original-filled-and-capped” bottles and pour the contents down the drain! At the time, I meant it jokingly (mostly), and Jim has since gotten rid of his collection. But still, this talk by Fugen about ex’s has made me reflect over time about an area where it is sometimes difficult for me to apply my practice, and where I have failed once or twice in my life and wish I hadn’t.

    Sooner or later, we all become an “ex” in some way or another, and when that happens, it is hard to handle feelings of anger and hurt after being so deeply involved with someone. Today, I wouldn’t think (well, not real seriously think) about doing anything like pouring Jim’s pop down the drain if we ever split up. And, if I were to break up with a friend, relative, or business partner again, I would try to remember, in spite of my hurt and anger at the time, to say clearly and loudly enough for that the person to hear and understand, in spite of their hurt and anger, “I loved you, I still love you, and I will always love you. Until later maybe.”


    Please enjoy these talks again, and share any thoughts or experiences you may have!

    Also, if you have any recommendations for future months, I still have a few months open for requests, but they are going quick!

    Gassho, Grace

    Sat today plus 10 more in honor of Treeleaf’s 10th Anniversary!
    Last edited by Graceleejenkins; 04-26-2016, 09:24 PM. Reason: typos
    Sat today and 10 more in honor of Treeleaf's 10th Anniversary!
  • Kyonin
    Dharma Transmitted Priest
    • Oct 2010
    • 6748

    #2
    Hi Grace,

    Some friends have asked me about break ups and how to handle the ex. Regardless of the situation I always say that if there's one word you need to say to an ex is: THANKS!

    No matter how hard the situation, no matter how difficult the process was, we are here and we are who we are because of that experience. It's thanks to all the people that have joined us in this trip that we get to learn and grow.

    Thank you for this post. I'll sure learn a lot and enjoy again.

    Gassho,

    Kyonin
    #SatToday
    Hondō Kyōnin
    奔道 協忍

    Comment

    • Mp

      #3
      Thank you Grace for this post. I too also agree with Kyonin in that there is a positive side to an "ex". Thank you "ex" for the learning opportunity. Thank you "ex" for helping me find what is true and important to me. Thank you "ex" for bringing back to the path I need to be on. When things fall apart hurt and sadness do follow, but in that there is such opportunity ... patience and acceptance are good friends during that time. =)

      Gassho
      Shingen

      s@today

      Comment

      • Rich
        Member
        • Apr 2009
        • 2614

        #4
        Thanks for all your insights

        Sent from my LG-LS720 using Tapatalk
        _/_
        Rich
        MUHYO
        無 (MU, Emptiness) and 氷 (HYO, Ice) ... Emptiness Ice ...

        https://instagram.com/notmovingmind

        Comment

        • Washin
          Senior Priest-in-Training
          • Dec 2014
          • 3811

          #5
          Thank you for this thread and for sharing your thoughts, Grace.
          The topic of handling the "ex" has been a little bit hard stuff for me for years.

          we are here and we are who we are because of that experience.
          patience and acceptance are good friends during that time.


          Yes, thank you and bows to "ex".

          Gassho
          Washin
          sat today
          Kaidō (皆道) Every Way
          Washin (和信) Harmony Trust
          ----
          I am a novice priest-in-training. Anything that I say must not be considered as teaching
          and should be taken with a 'grain of salt'.

          Comment

          • Jakuden
            Member
            • Jun 2015
            • 6141

            #6
            Thank you Grace and thank you Fugen!

            Gassho,
            Jakuden
            SatToday

            Comment

            • Tb
              Member
              • Jan 2008
              • 3186

              #7
              Hi.

              Just want to express gratitude.

              Gratitude for this post made by grace and all the things that accompany it.
              Gratitude for all the good work you Treeleafers do.
              Gratitude for the smiles on your faces.

              Thank you all, thank you very much.

              Mtfbwy
              Fugen

              #Sat2day
              Life is our temple and its all good practice
              Blog: http://fugenblog.blogspot.com/

              Comment

              • Washin
                Senior Priest-in-Training
                • Dec 2014
                • 3811

                #8
                Originally posted by Fugen
                Hi.

                Just want to express gratitude.

                Gratitude for this post made by grace and all the things that accompany it.
                Gratitude for all the good work you Treeleafers do.
                Gratitude for the smiles on your faces.

                Thank you all, thank you very much.

                Mtfbwy
                Fugen

                #Sat2day
                Thank YOU, Fugen
                Kaidō (皆道) Every Way
                Washin (和信) Harmony Trust
                ----
                I am a novice priest-in-training. Anything that I say must not be considered as teaching
                and should be taken with a 'grain of salt'.

                Comment

                • Graceleejenkins
                  Member
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 434

                  #9
                  Thank you, Fugen! Gassho, Grace

                  Sat today plus 10 extra in honor of Treeleaf's 10th!
                  Sat today and 10 more in honor of Treeleaf's 10th Anniversary!

                  Comment

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