How to Make Decisions Face Problems

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  • Jundo
    Treeleaf Founder and Priest
    • Apr 2006
    • 40354

    How to Make Decisions Face Problems

    Hi,

    Several folks have written me in recent weeks with questions about how to make various life decisions or how to face various personal problems. Should they change job, move, break-up a relationship? How best to deal with a difficult person at home or work, or worries about money & health. They all wondered if I had any advice, or if "Zen" provided any answers.

    "Zen" provides no answers. Zero (or, at least, very very few).

    It will not tell you which job to take, where to live, whom to love. It will not make difficult people change their behavior, it will not fix your health or put money in your bank account. Sorry.

    But what our Zen teachings tell us is that there are two ways to approach each of these situations, and two ways to live life in general ...

    In one way (the "non-Zen" way, for want of a better term), we face these decisions and situations of life with a head filled with noisy and tumultuous thoughts, our heart flooded with wild passions, psychological conflicts, a lack of inner peace, resistance to situations, fears and excess regrets. Our Ego is large, and perhaps Compassion is small. In the "non-Zen" way, we make our choices or try to deal with situations from such a standpoint.

    In the other way (the "Zen" way, for want of a better term), our minds are calm, our thoughts quiet and still, the passions and emotions in balance, inner conflicts replaced by harmony and sensations of peace, a dropping of resistance to life, fears and regrets put out of mind. Our Ego is small and, hopefully, Compassion and loving-kindness are large. We thus make our choices and deal with situations from such a standpoint.

    So, "Zen" may rarely provide specific answers, if at all. But is it not better to lead life from the latter perspective? It is a gentler way to live. And, though detailed answers will be rare, many choices and situations will be made simpler and clearer when the mind and heart are made simple and clear ... guaranteed.

    So, will "Zen" tell you which job to take, where to live, whom to love, make difficult people change, fix your health or bank balance? No.

    But it will let you be at home with the choices you do eventually make, whatever they are (whatever choice you make, after all, is just your life!). It will allow the difficult to be easy, the painful not a burden. It will turn resistance to non-resistance, and satisfy by even the unsatisfactory. It will allow each day to be just what it is, and let us see every moment as golden in its way.

    Is that not enough?

    Gassho, Jundo
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE
  • Yugen

    #2
    Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

    Bravo Jundo! Nothing else need be said...

    Gassho,
    Alex

    Comment

    • Shindo
      Member
      • Mar 2008
      • 278

      #3
      Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

      In the other way (the "Zen" way, for want of a better term), our minds are calm, our thoughts quiet and still, the passions and emotions in balance, inner conflicts replaced by harmony and sensations of peace, a dropping of resistance to life, fears and regrets put out of mind. Our Ego is small and, hopefully, Compassion and loving-kindness are large. We thus make our choices and deal with situations from such a standpoint.
      I aspire to this - well put Jundo

      Best wishes

      Jools
      [color=#404040:301177ix]"[i:301177ix]I come to realize that mind is no other than mountains and rivers and the great wide earth, the sun and the moon and star[/i:301177ix]s". - [b:301177ix]Dogen[/b:301177ix][/color:301177ix]

      Comment

      • will
        Member
        • Jun 2007
        • 2331

        #4
        Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

        It will not tell you which job to take, where to live, whom to love. It will not make difficult people change their behavior, it will not fix your health or put money in your bank account. Sorry.
        Ahhh. Maaan



        G,W
        [size=85:z6oilzbt]
        To save all sentient beings, though beings are numberless.
        To penetrate reality, though reality is boundless.
        To transform all delusion, though delusions are immeasurable.
        To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.
        [/size:z6oilzbt]

        Comment

        • Shui_Di
          Member
          • Apr 2008
          • 210

          #5
          Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

          Zazen will not give you an answer to solve your problem, but Zazen can teach us how to face the problem as it is. And it can support us, so we can think and solve our problem with a cool head.

          Gassho, Shui Di
          Practicing the Way means letting all things be what they are in their Self-nature. - Master Dogen.

          Comment

          • prg5001
            Member
            • Apr 2008
            • 76

            #6
            Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

            Hi,

            I have a cold now, my throat is sore, my muscles ache and my head is full of cotton wool. I did zazen this morning and it didn't help. So I can confirm the above.

            However, how would I feel if I hadn't done zazen? I'll never know.

            Sympathy and cold remedies welcome....

            Cheers,

            Paul

            Comment

            • Jundo
              Treeleaf Founder and Priest
              • Apr 2006
              • 40354

              #7
              Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

              Originally posted by prg5001

              Sympathy and cold remedies welcome....

              Cheers,

              Paul
              When you sneeze, just sneeze. And when you cough, just cough.

              Gassho, Jundo

              (That and chicken soup)
              ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

              Comment

              • Alberto
                Member
                • Apr 2008
                • 78

                #8
                Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

                I just need to ask this: could the "zen way" to make decisions simply be mindful of what our heart is telling us? Be what we are at the moment?

                If, for example, my grandma spends 12 hrs cooking a turkey for my birthday, there is a conundrum. I may think that it's not compassionate to eat cadavers of sentient beings, or I may think it's not compassionate to hurt grandma's feelings by passing on the poor bird. Furthermore, I may think that if I don't eat that juicy leg it's just because my ego is a bigot ("I vow to save them all"), or I might think that the only reason I don't wanna disappoint grandma is because my ego doesn't like to deal with the problem. The point is, when you start thinking like that the absurdity of it all laughs in your face and you realize a little bit more just what emptiness means.

                How about just "following your heart"? I use the cliche meaning just making the decision that you really want to make. The zen way is sincere, and unless you go by the name Siddharta you will make some pretty selfish decisions here and there. But that' okay if that's where you are, and if you are paying attention. What do you guys think?

                Comment

                • will
                  Member
                  • Jun 2007
                  • 2331

                  #9
                  Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

                  Who's this Siddhartha guy anyways?

                  A great quote by MC JC otherwise known as Big J. AKA "J Man":

                  So, I suppose that our perspective in Zen Practice is that, if "Will" finds "Will's Truth", then the "Buddha" has found "Buddha's Truth".
                  In one way (the "non-Zen" way, for want of a better term), we face these decisions and situations of life with a head filled with noisy and tumultuous thoughts, our heart flooded with wild passions, psychological conflicts, a lack of inner peace, resistance to situations, fears and excess regrets. Our Ego is large, and perhaps Compassion is small. In the "non-Zen" way, we make our choices or try to deal with situations from such a standpoint.

                  In the other way (the "Zen" way, for want of a better term), our minds are calm, our thoughts quiet and still, the passions and emotions in balance, inner conflicts replaced by harmony and sensations of peace, a dropping of resistance to life, fears and regrets put out of mind. Our Ego is small and, hopefully, Compassion and loving-kindness are large. We thus make our choices and deal with situations from such a standpoint.

                  So, "Zen" may rarely provide specific answers, if at all. But is it not better to lead life from the latter perspective? It is a gentler way to live. And, though detailed answers will be rare, many choices and situations will be made simpler and clearer when the mind and heart are made simple and clear ... guaranteed.
                  So in this practice we sit, we question this and that, we keep sitting, we wonder who and what, we keep sitting. We take it off the seat and we keep sitting. I think the heart is a good metaphor. I believe there's a Sutra named after it.


                  Gassho Will
                  [size=85:z6oilzbt]
                  To save all sentient beings, though beings are numberless.
                  To penetrate reality, though reality is boundless.
                  To transform all delusion, though delusions are immeasurable.
                  To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.
                  [/size:z6oilzbt]

                  Comment

                  • ..::walter::..
                    Member
                    • Oct 2007
                    • 17

                    #10
                    Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

                    It's very difficult to add something to your words, Jundo! You have said all that must be said.

                    For me this is not a very good moment. Two people are giving me troubles at work from a long time. Zazen helps me very much, as a matter of fact it clears my mind ( I don't mean that I switch off my mind however or that I fall asleep) from all that negative emotions and thoughts and returns me harmony and joy of life.

                    The only thing I miss from the list you wrote is loving-kindness. I mean that I don't feel compassion for these 2 persons who are giving me so many troubles. I know that (in their lives) they have much bigger problems than I have, and i'm sorry for them.

                    But when I have to face them, I can't remain quiet, a little bit of anger passes through my mind.

                    By the way, back at home, Zazen lets me deal with this emotions and better ones spontaneously grow.

                    Hopefully, with time, i'll become a better guy.
                    Gassho, walter
                    ________________________________________
                    i apologize for my bad english
                    [u:1a228k4d]please, fell free to correct my mistakes[/u:1a228k4d]

                    Comment

                    • Lynn
                      Member
                      • Oct 2007
                      • 180

                      #11
                      Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

                      Originally posted by prg5001
                      I have a cold now, my throat is sore, my muscles ache and my head is full of cotton wool. I did zazen this morning and it didn't help. So I can confirm the above.

                      However, how would I feel if I hadn't done zazen? I'll never know.

                      Sympathy and cold remedies welcome....
                      Following up on Harry's advice I will additionally offer you the hearty Irish blessing of, "Bos sona!"


                      In Gassho~
                      Lynn
                      When we wish to teach and enlighten all things by ourselves, we are deluded; when all things teach and enlighten us, we are enlightened. ~Dogen "Genjo Koan"

                      Comment

                      • prg5001
                        Member
                        • Apr 2008
                        • 76

                        #12
                        Re: How to Make Decisions Face Problems

                        Thanks everyone, I'm feeling better now.

                        Cheers,

                        Paul

                        Comment

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