The pain of practice

[Joyo]

This really resonated with me. Thank you, Lisa! (And to everybody else's wonderful response.) While reading Libby's original post, all I could do was nod and think to myself, "me too, me too!" For awhile, before I connected with Buddhism, I jokingly called myself "an atheist who really wants there to be an afterlife"--the thought of dying, of not existing, terrified me. Hell (ba-dum-tss), it STILL terrifies me. But I've learned through zazen and mindfulness that I can examine that fear... and yes, I'm still afraid, but I feel that by planting the seeds/the habit of examining that fear, that the fear will eventually (maybe in a decade? 50 years? right before my death?) disappear to the point where I can REALLY enjoy my life. I'm trying to get in that habit now.

Gassho,
June
#SatToday
#SorryIHaven'tBeenAround

Hi June, I am sorry you have such a fear of hell. Being raised in a very strict Christian denomination, I too had the same gripping fear. However, I don't anymore, at all. What helped me is realizing there are many different hells (one for non-Christians, one for non-Catholics, one for non-Muslims, one for Catholics etc. etc. etc. ) and I realized hell is a place to put people who do not believe like you do, and it is, therefore, impossible to escape. This might sound cynical, but it just clicked in my mind that it's a man-made place. Even my husband, who is a Christian, does not believe his Buddhist wife and non-Christian children are going to hell. He thinks it's a bit of a joke when more fundamental Christians talk this way.

Hope this helps. Sending you peace and metta.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[orangedice]

Ahh sorry, I am not afraid of hell or even believe in it. I was making a bad joke of using "hell!" as an exclamation.

What I'm really terrified of is non-existence.

Gassho,
June
#sattoday

[Rich]

Have heard that it's the ego that's terrified of non existence. Your natural state is peace and bliss. But , yes, if fear appears gotta deal with it and all fear is about death. But in a way fear has kept me alive. Real fear vs imagined fear?

SAT today

[Kaishin]

Ahh sorry, I am not afraid of hell or even believe in it. I was making a bad joke of using "hell!" as an exclamation.

What I'm really terrified of is non-existence.

Gassho,
June
#sattoday

But why? Non-existence is release! How did you feel before you were born?

[Jakuden]

But why? Non-existence is release! How did you feel before you were born?

Thank you... this is something to sit with!

Gassho,
Sierra
SatToday

[Ongen]

Just a bow for this wonderful thread!
Sometimes jumping in the deep seems way cool, sometimes you realise it is actually quite deep - I still remember well how the swimming teacher just threw me in, all those years ago... Either way eventually you float and then discover swimming isn't that hard at all. I'm still climbing back up the side of the pool regularly, but swimming gets more easy with every jump.

Gassho
Ongen

Sat Today