How do you to get over the fear of death?

[Juki]

In the Bushido (which is hardly a Zen text, by the way) it is written that a warrior should walk upon the earth as if he were already dead. Do not attach to this life or to notions of life and death.

Sit, breathe, and as Suzuki said, die as a small person moment by moment.

Gassho,
Juki
#sattoday

[Ansan]

The thought (thinking nonthinking) of old age (I am already there and it is nothing to fear) and death walks through my Zazen daily as I recite the Heart Sutra. Fear? All I know is the life I live. I die there too. How can I fear what does not exist? Only life exists for me. Death will happen. No fear. Life happens. Nirvana is already here. Metta to all who fear their own death. The Heart Sutra is a salve for fear with no hindrance of mind. I have yet to come to grips with losing someone to death though. That's life too. Grand, isn't it?

Gassho,
Ansan
SatToday

[TimF]

I fear death. No doubt about it...for me to say otherwise would be a lie. I fear it the way I feared the trip to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth extracted. I fear it the same way I feared an operation I had as a child. I fear it the same as when I stepped off a bus in Texas for basic training. I fear it the same as when I set foot into high school the first time.

Looking back, the funny thing is that those fears ended up disappearing quickly when the not-knowing was at its end.

So, I can only believe that the fear will leave just as quickly when I die.

Gassho,
Tim

Sat today

[Kyonin]

How do you to get over the fear of death?
How do you to get over the fear of became old?

Can we help using Buddhist idea and Zen idea?

Hi Mr. K

Years ago I had a car accident. I was distracted an caused the accident and set 3 people to the hospital and I was nearly dead. It was a difficult time because I learned the hard way how fragile we really are, despite our illusions that we are invulnerable.

This experience made me question how I felt about death. My Buddhist practice wasn't big at the time, but I understood that I was not going to live forever. Years later while in zazen I realized death is just part of life and there is no life without death. It's balance and we can't control it. We just accept it.

Thanks to zazen, the dharma and the accident I have no fear of death.

Also I have no fear of getting old. Actually I am enjoying the ride because as I get older I learn more and I am more calm.

So yes, using Zen and Buddhism makes it all easier to understand.

Gassho,

Kyonin
#SatToday

[Risho]

Edit: I wanted to add these responses are all so beautiful; I always learn so much from you all; you deepen my practice in ways you cannot imagine.

How do you to get over the fear of death?
How do you to get over the fear of became old?

Can we help using Buddhist idea and Zen idea?

Mr. K, I have to bow to your questions; if your questioning is any indication of the strength of your practice, then you are a very serious practitioner. The questions hit me like a hammer -- they really got me thinking; I've just been going over and over them in my mind.

I think they are difficult to answer, but they must be answered.

I don't fear becoming old because I enjoy the ride. I do lament my youth or worry about being old when I think about my past and glorify it, but just as in my youth as now, I had issues. In youth, there are so many uncertainties, and now that I'm 40, there is a lot of wisdom that comes with age. So I really enjoy that.

I don't know how to answer, "How to get over the fear of death". How do you fall in love? How do you learn to read? How do you know what blue is? How would you describe the color blue to a blind person? I don't know.

I would say that I think it's easier for me to die than to watch friends and family die. I don't want to die; I don't want my loved ones to die. I don't sugarcoat this fact, and that's what Zen has helped me with. This is all precious because it doesn't last. But I think it's normal to still fear; we are human. I think it's healthy to not want to die ( I know that's separate from fear).

I think zen has helped with feeling connected. Better people have died before me, and so we are not alone. When we actually die, and that's another entire topic -- we are always dying in some respect, is there an actual point of death? Who knows? I guess we'll all find out. But when we die, others are dying with us, so that is comforting. Also, when we die, maybe if we are open with our feelings and love without regret or holding back, it can provide an example to others, which would probably be comforting as well. I believe I read something of this from Thich Nhat Hanh, who said it better than I am.

This practice, this life is all about connection with others. It's all about us, taking care of each other. If it was just fancy sayings, it would be empty of any value or substance. I think the fear of death lessens when we live a meaningful life; that's an entirely additional topic, but I think zen helps clarify what is meaningful to oneself. It has for me.

So I fear death because I will miss those who I love; I will miss the experiences. This life can be truly wonderful; it should not be taken for granted. "Time passes swiftly by and opportunity is lost." AND (as Jundo would say) What time? What opportunity? Both at the same time.

The evening gatha (traditional)

Let me respectfully remind you,
Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.
Each of us should strive to awaken...
...awaken,
Take heed. Do not squander your life.

Jundo's awesome variation

No "me" no "you", no life or death.
No time to pass, no opportunity lost.
No "us" to strive, no goal or striving.
Thus Awakended! AWAKENED!
How could one squander this life?

Gassho,

Risho
-will sit at lunch

[Heisoku]

Hello.
From close observation and the letting go of my own fear, I watched my father breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
That was all. I was breathing with him and then I wasn't. It was so ordinary and natural and full of peace and love. It was exactly midnight and the room was silent.
Gassho.
Heisoku
Sat today.

[Byokan]

Hello.
From close observation and the letting go of my own fear, I watched my father breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
That was all. I was breathing with him and then I wasn't. It was so ordinary and natural and full of peace and love. It was exactly midnight and the room was silent.
Gassho.
Heisoku
Sat today.

Gassho
Lisa
sat today

[Doshin]

Very thoughtful responses that I will keep in mind. Death is not a distant expectation anymore for me, I have lived 65 great years (plan to get some more active years in outdoors!!) though it should never be dismissed at any age. I have always felt the gatha Risho quoted (Life and death are of supreme importance.... Do not squander your life) is one of the more profound wisdoms that everyone should keep close. While reading this thread the past week I have kept asking myself if I fear death. As Rich suggested, I don't think of it often, but the thread got me thinking and that is good. I have always understood it is inevitable nor would I want to escape it for too long as my ability to participate in the things I most cherish decreases as age will take it toll on this "bag of bones" . I am thankful I am still very active. What keeps arising is will those close to me be okay when I leave this form (a question fathers, mothers and spouses think a lot about..I believe). Of course the "how" of death does arise with concern. As Risho and others have noted, it has been much harder for me as well to watch others die... Fear is not wrong, it helps us survive. But to always live in fear would be so much worse than what we fear, for me at least.

I believe I wrote this mostly for me to understand. Those above have so much compassion and wisdom to learn from. Thanks to all for the teachings and perspectives.

Gassho

Randy
sattoday

[Geika]

Thank you, Randy.

Gassho, sat today

[Getchi]

Hello Mr.K!

For my own humble perspective, one can never truly "overcome" fear of death or getting old. Neither situation care if we know about them, or care about the process. What are we left with?

Just this. Just now.

Live, let live and accept the end of life as a fact - because it is.

How do you get over the fear of death?

You die.

I would say yes a thousand times, but also "you finally live".


Gassho,
Geoff. A student.
SatToday.

[alan.r]

Jishin,
This is lovely - Dogen came together for me here in the context of this discussion. All of a sudden it seems so obvious. Thank you.

Deep bows
Yugen


sat2day

Yes, for me too. All of a sudden this passage was illuminated. Thank you, Jishin.

Gassho,
Alan
sattoday

[Juki]

Just read this and it seems to fit nicely here:

"It's very unskillful to use this body of five feet only as a five foot body. It's foolish to live merely using up fifty, eighty or one hundred years of longevity. To practice the Buddha way is to become a person who will never die, who is not at all different from the Buddha pervading the entire universe forever." Homeless Kodo Sawaki

Gassho,
Juki

#sattodau

[Rich]

Just read this and it seems to fit nicely here:



"It's very unskillful to use this body of five feet only as a five foot body. It's foolish to live merely using up fifty, eighty or one hundred years of longevity. To practice the Buddha way is to become a person who will never die, who is not at all different from the Buddha pervading the entire universe forever." Homeless Kodo Sawaki



Gassho,

Juki



#sattodau

To practice the Buddha way sounds like a great deal 😊 -)

SAT today
SAT today

[Sekishi]

How do you to get over the fear of death?
How do you to get over the fear of became old?

Dear Konan (and all),

If I knew the answer to these two questions, I would shout it from the mountaintops, and carve it into stones! I have been hesitant to respond here because there is much wisdom in this thread, and I have so little.

All I can really say is that fear and anxiety are unavoidable, but suffering is optional.

In my experience, anxiety about the "three sufferings" of old age, sickness and death arises every day, somewhere between a hundred and a thousand times. The little spot that might be cancer, the dead deer on the side of the road, the smell of a mouse who died in the woodpile, the gentle love of a dog whose life is likely to be so much shorter than my own. Each cause the mind to react to the idea of loss and dissolution. The belly grows tight, and the mind constricts around the idea, and the mind starts spinning in circles. For some of us (me!), this reaction becomes a well trodden path. I can be enjoying a good movie, or my favorite music, or a delicious meal, and if the anxiety manifests, the spell of the movie is broken, the music becomes flat, and the meal tasteless. The mind spins around and around, seeking a "solution" to the problem of death. But there is no solution. There is no escape.

This reaction is so compelling (in its way) that it keeps bringing us back, over and over, like the tongue seeking a lost tooth. This reaction leads directly to SUFFERING, and repeated every hour of ever day it can easily rob us of all joy. I know this outcome well.

For me, the Buddha-Dharma has shown a way to be with the process of anxiety with kindness and compassion, and to allow it to pass. There is no "solution" to the problems of old age and death. There is no escape. But there is an escape from the problem of suffering. We practice the Buddha-Dharma, and we sit. In Zazen, anxiety manifests, part of the landscape: a thinking mind INNOCENTLY attempting to solve problems and protect the human organism. It is possible to allow the thought to fully manifest, and pass away without grasping (it too is impermanent and non-self).

Jundo may disagree with this, but during sitting, if I "wake up" after chasing thoughts, I check in with posture, mudra, and lower belly. Anxiety (for me anyway) manifests in the belly and stays long after the thoughts themselves have passed. A soft belly and straight back are a critical part of Zazen! (IMHO)

I don't know if anxiety about the three sufferings of old age, sickness, and death are any less for me than when I began practice, but I do know for sure that the suffering around them is much reduced. The chasing of anxiety, the searching for a "solution", the judgments about "my own" weakness and pain, all are much less. And the core anxiety is treated with kindness and compassion and allowed to arise and pass away again and again.

Finally, I wanted to share a part of one of my favorite Buddhist teachings, the Simile of the Mountains (Pabbatopama Sutta).

Suppose a man, trustworthy and reliable, were to come to you from the east and on arrival would say: 'If it please your majesty, you should know that I come from the east. There I saw a great mountain, as high as the clouds, coming this way, crushing all living beings [in its path]. Do whatever you think should be done.' Then a second man were to come to you from the west... Then a third man were to come to you from the north... Then a fourth man were to come to you from the south and on arrival would say: 'If it please your majesty, you should know that I come from the south. There I saw a great mountain, as high as the clouds, coming this way, crushing all living beings. Do whatever you think should be done.' If, great king, such a great peril should arise, such a terrible destruction of human life — the human state being so hard to obtain — what should be done?

If, lord, such a great peril should arise, such a terrible destruction of human life — the human state being so hard to obtain — what else should be done but Dhamma-conduct, right conduct, skillful deeds, meritorious deeds?

I inform you, great king, I announce to you, great king: aging and death are rolling in on you. When aging and death are rolling in on you, great king, what should be done?

As aging and death are rolling in on me, lord, what else should be done but Dhamma-conduct, right conduct, skillful deeds, meritorious deeds?

The full Sutta can be found here: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit....025.than.html

The four mountains are rolling in, crushing all living beings. May they all be free of suffering.

Gassho,
Sekishi
#sattoday

[Byokan]

Very grateful to all who have shared so much wisdom, insight and inspiration here.

Gassho
Lisa
sat today