Looking for meditation advice

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  • Jhrper
    Member
    • Apr 2015
    • 2

    Looking for meditation advice

    Hello!
    This is my first post on these forums and first off I would like to thank the people in charge for the amazing opportunity that a community like this represents. I have been sitting off and on for several years now but I go through long spells of aversion to meditation where no matter what I try I can't force myself to the mat. I spend most of my work days listening to various dharma talks and thinking about just how awesome meditation will be when I get home- and it never happens. Do you guys experience anything similar? I signed up here and went through the process of getting approval to post and then a dry spell hit and I sat for the first time today in far too long....
    Anyone have any advice for dealing with aversion? It is so strange to me that the brain, which is generally an organ that seeks out pleasure, would be so averse to something that is so beneficial and frankly feels good for the most part. Oh well, enough rambling, and hello from the new guy!

    ------Finally sat today
  • Luciana
    Member
    • May 2015
    • 59

    #2
    Hello, Jhrper,

    Welcome!

    Your experience with aversion to meditation sounds very familiar to me. Yes, indeed, I've gone through that. Don't have a simple answer--I just had to realize that there isn't that much time left! Also, it helped a lot when I finally set a time of day for meditation and stuck to it.

    I'm sure that Jundo will have some helpful things to say!

    _/\_

    L.

    sat2day

    Comment

    • RichardH
      Member
      • Nov 2011
      • 2800

      #3
      The only advice I can offer is sit together. Treeleaf is a practice community. There is weekly Zazenkai and almost daily sitting together on G+.



      You are most welcome to join in. Sitting together is a wonderful support.

      Gassho
      Daizan

      sat today

      Comment

      • Jakuden
        Member
        • Jun 2015
        • 6141

        #4
        Hello,

        I am new here as well, so it's nice to see another newbie post! I already have found so many answers to questions like yours either by watching Jundo's videos for new folks, or just by typing questions into the search bar. I actually typed "boredom" into the search bar the other day and came up with tons of interesting threads, including one I commented on yesterday about why people in one study would rather give themselves an electric shock than sit with their thoughts!

        Sitting is not easy because of all the mental obstacles we throw at it. Jundo's recent threads about "not chasing" and then "chasing" are helping me understand this better. It's a metaphor for life, in a way? Do it because it needs doing. I can do Zazen daily, but I have fallen off the wagon with my daily exercise program lately. Although it is good for me and makes me feel better, but I still have trouble doing it every day like I should... Anyway, maybe sitting along with the learning videos or joining the live sessions here will help get you actually swimming in the pool more regularly.

        Gassho,
        Sierra
        SatToday (with Jundo's Kannon video)

        Comment

        • Getchi
          Member
          • May 2015
          • 612

          #5
          Hello Jhrpr!

          Im new here too, but check out the thread mentioned above, you'll see it is perfectly natural! http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...for-15-Minutes

          When I first stared, I would have chosen the shock pretty quick, im better now but its small improvments every sesshin.

          Explore the links Jundo sent you, and dont pressure yourselfto rush! You did, after all, sit today!

          Gassho, Geoff.
          SatToday.
          Nothing to do? Why not Sit?

          Comment

          • Byokan
            Senior Priest-in-Training
            • Apr 2014
            • 4284

            #6
            Hi Jhrpr,

            So glad that you're here, and happy with you about the sitting today.

            The thing that made a difference for me, and finally gave me a daily sitting practice, was when I took myself out of the equation. Actually what I did was promote my butt to Assistant Manager In Charge Of Sitting. See, my gluteus maximus knew a lot more about how to sit than my brain did.

            I used to think, ah, oh yeah, I’d like to meditate, I want to meditate, I really should meditate. I used to make plans and schedules to meditate, and rearrange my meditation spot, and read about meditating. And I did meditate when the time and place and conditions were right, when I was inspired, in the proper mood, when the stars aligned just so. But it came and went, off and on, and sometimes I got distracted and didn’t do it for months. Something in me really wanted a daily practice, but I couldn’t seem to get it going. It seemed like people who had a daily practice either were a lot more enlightened than me, or had stronger self-discipline, or obviously did not have all the stuff to do and complications in life that I had.

            Then I found Treeleaf (*cue soft-focus logo and angelic new-age music*). I saw all kinds of people here, with all kinds of lives, and somehow they were... just... sitting. Something clicked. I started just putting my ass down onto the cushion, without asking myself first if I was in the mood, or if the stars were aligned. It worked. Now I just sit. Every day. I brush my teeth every day, I drink water every day, I breathe every day, and I sit every day. Sometimes I am walking to the cushion, telling myself why I really, seriously don’t have time to sit, and then I sit, and then I go on with my day. Sometimes I reeeally don’t feel like sitting at all, like if I‘m sick, or in a bad mood. I sit anyway. For 20 minutes or however long, the butt is in charge. The butt goes onto the cushion, and the brain comes along, willingly or not. Oh! Don’t forget to put the brain (and/or the heart) back in charge when you’re finished.

            So, my advice is, every day, walk toward a zafu or a pillow, and take good aim, give a little gassho, and then decrease the distance between the pillow and your bum, until they meet. Your brain will tell you all kinds of reasons why you can’t do this. Just shrug and point to the Assistant Manager, he's in charge.

            I have never, ever, not even once, regretted sitting or wished I hadn’t done it. I think it’s the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. And hey, we'll all be sitting with you.

            Gassho
            Lisa
            sat today
            展道 渺寛 Tendō Byōkan
            Please take my words with a big grain of salt. I know nothing. Wisdom is only found in our whole-hearted practice together.

            Comment

            • Jundo
              Treeleaf Founder and Priest
              • Apr 2006
              • 40862

              #7
              Hi,

              Folks have said anything I could. I might just encourage you to sit for even 5 minutes each day. That is enough if one sits beyond measure and watching clocks. Just do so for 5 minutes each day.

              If the mood strikes, sit for 10 (maybe 15), but no more most days. Just build the habit of sitting daily, and 5 to 10 minutes is fine if one realizes the completeness and wholeness of even such sitting. We might say, 5 minutes of Zazen is 5 minutes of Buddha!

              Yes, there are days in practice when one might sit longer, for many periods, hours and hours. Such is important in this Practice too. But daily sitting, even if for a few minutes, is wondrous if one puts aside the taxi meter. Just be consistent, day by day by day. This is something else posted recently ...

              Zazen is not a matter of long or short. One must sit dropping all measure, tasting in one's bones that every single instant of Zazen is all time (and all timeless too)! One must sit throwing the clock away!

              And yet ... and yet ... (Zen guys often speak out of both sides of their no sided mouth, with seemingly contradictory yet simultaneously true ways to measure things) ... and yet ...

              We recommend the following (from our "We're All Always Beginners" series, please give that a watch), at least 15 minutes a day ... but that's not all ...



              ... also countless Insta-Zazen "Sittings" throughout one's day ...



              The most important point is to be consistent about doing all of the above each day.

              Also, although sitting is not about "attaining" or "measure" ... it is sometimes important to head to Retreat/Sesshin (if physically able) to wrestle long and hard seeking to attain that "nonattaining"! I just posted about that here:

              Hi, We move on to the first section of Chapter 2 (After Eating I Relax / The Middle Way) ... A possible seed for discussion is "What is your 'Middle Way', and how is the 'Middle Way' important in your life?" Also, can one live a life of "retreat without retreating?" Gassho, Jundo SatToday


              Don't sit Zazen like one is running a taxi meter trying to get 'cross town. This trip is to no where but right here and here and here.
              Gassho, J

              SatToday
              Last edited by Jundo; 06-29-2015, 04:45 AM.
              ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

              Comment

              • Jishin
                Member
                • Oct 2012
                • 4821

                #8
                Looking for meditation advice

                Hi,
                Sitting is an absolute waste of time. That is why you are averse to it. Thing is though that you are meditation. You don't meditate. This is not something that can be well understood but it is to be experienced. The eye sees. It can not see itself without a mirror but it experiences seeing when it looks. Just look. Just sit. But that just my opinion.

                Gassho, Jishin

                #SatToday
                Last edited by Jishin; 06-29-2015, 04:21 AM.

                Comment

                • Joyo

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Jhrper
                  and thinking about just how awesome meditation will be when I get home- and it never happens.
                  ------Finally sat today
                  Hello, don't think about how awesome it will be, because it won't. Don't have any expectations. I've sat through panic attacks, boredom, racing mind more times than I can count in the 2 years I've been practicing here. It isn't always awesome. But if you learn to accept these experiences just as they are, I promise you, in time meditation will become something much deeper than just looking for a wonderful experience, or something that feels good. I wish you all the best. And welcome to Treeleaf =)

                  Gassho,
                  Joyo
                  sat today

                  p.s.---oh, and I am not a teacher, just a lay Buddhist practicing and learning much each day, so please take what I say with a grain of salt

                  Comment

                  • Kyotai

                    #10
                    Hello Jhrper,

                    Each day is a new day. Try not to mentally commit to sitting or not sitting. Just sit. If you miss a day, you missed a day. Get back at it the following one.

                    Lots of good advice from some very wise folks above. I think starting slow, maybe 5 minutes a day would be good. I (and many) use the insight timer APP as a timer device which helps too.

                    Thank you for your question as it may help lots of other people in a similar situation.

                    Gassho, Kyotai
                    Sat today

                    ps...oh and welcome to treeleaf!

                    Comment

                    • Getchi
                      Member
                      • May 2015
                      • 612

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Jishin
                      Hi,
                      Sitting is an absolute waste of time. That is why you are averse to it. Thing is though that you are meditation. You don't meditate. This is not something that can be well understood but it is to be experienced. The eye sees. It can not see itself without a mirror but it experiences seeing when it looks. Just look. Just sit. But that just my opinion.

                      Gassho, Jishin

                      #SatToday

                      Beautifully said.

                      Gassho,
                      Geoff.
                      SatToday.
                      Nothing to do? Why not Sit?

                      Comment

                      • Meishin
                        Member
                        • May 2014
                        • 856

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Jishin
                        Hi,
                        Sitting is an absolute waste of time. That is why you are averse to it. Thing is though that you are meditation. You don't meditate. This is not something that can be well understood but it is to be experienced. The eye sees. It can not see itself without a mirror but it experiences seeing when it looks. Just look. Just sit. But that just my opinion.

                        Gassho, Jishin

                        #SatToday
                        Well it's not always a waste of time. This morning while sitting I remembered that I needed: to replace a light bulb in my wife's study, to defrost some stuff for supper, to watch a YouTube lecture on landscape photography, to write a funny retort to someone on Facebook, to figure out that dream (now that's a waste of time), to eat breakfast, soon.... The poet Gary Snyder wrote a poem about "what I think about while I meditate." Much the same stuff. Comes and goes. Trivial pursuit. Definitely can say that it's a waste of no time.

                        Gassho
                        Meishin
                        sat today

                        Comment

                        • Rich
                          Member
                          • Apr 2009
                          • 2615

                          #13
                          Maybe I'm just creature of habit sitting twice a day. Sometimes I do feel some aversion and boredom and smile at that too.
                          Smiling creates an openness, an acceptance where you can feel comfortable with emptiness or non emptiness.
                          It's hard to explain so just do it.

                          SAT today
                          _/_
                          Rich
                          MUHYO
                          無 (MU, Emptiness) and 氷 (HYO, Ice) ... Emptiness Ice ...

                          https://instagram.com/notmovingmind

                          Comment

                          • Jishin
                            Member
                            • Oct 2012
                            • 4821

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Meishin
                            Well it's not always a waste of time.
                            Sitting is an absolute waste of time.

                            Sitting means...

                            Absolute means...

                            Maybe sitting and absolute both mean...



                            Gassho, Jishin

                            #SatToday

                            Comment

                            • Kyonin
                              Dharma Transmitted Priest
                              • Oct 2010
                              • 6748

                              #15
                              Hi Jhrper,

                              Sitting with a curious mind also helps a lot. Try to see zazen as an experiment to see what it feels, how your body feels and instead of asking questions, just sit. Begin for about 10 minutes and move forward from there, adding a couple of minutes every few weeks.

                              Think that if you have 10 minutes for Facebook, you definitely have 10 minutes for zazen. Both are a waste of time, but siting zazen feels right for some reason.

                              Welcome to Treeleaf. Please upload a photo of you and sign with your name. That will help us all to have a name and a face to communicate with.

                              Gassho,

                              Kyonin
                              #SatToday
                              Hondō Kyōnin
                              奔道 協忍

                              Comment

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