Some thoughts on fear and compassion

[Amelia]

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?12482-so-I-watched-my-dad-cry-tonight&p=132056#post132056

I was going to post in the above thread, but I didn't want to go off-topic.

I used to be very anxious if anyone I cared for was in pain, emotional and/ or physical. I would appear withdrawn and sometimes say inappropriate things because of the stress. Sometimes, I still do. I caught myself going into old bad habits last night as I was comforting a friend who has lost a pet cat.

However, I have noticed a change in my self-talk when these situations occur. Actually, the change is more like a lack of self-talk. I am learning to be still and compassionate with people in these types of situations now, which is comforting. I have learned that I used to fear bad things happening not only because of the obvious, but also because I was afraid of how I would react. Now that I have started to react less from within myself, I have a less fear.

I'm pretty sure this is practice at work, so I bow to you all.

Gassho and metta

[Rich]

Thank you, Amelia. Your presence is very much appreciated here and everywhere.

Kind regards. /\

[Mp]

Thank you, Amelia. Your presence is very much appreciated here and everywhere.

Kind regards. /\

I agree with Rich here ... I too am thankful for your presence Amelia, thank you for your post. =)

Gassho
Shingen

[Heishu]

Amelia, I return the bow to you, as has already been said by Rich and Shingen, I too am humbled by your presence and your practice. Each of us learn something everyday from our sangha.

Gassho,
Heishu

[Joyo]

That is great, Amelia, so glad this practice is helping you, and that you are part of our sangha!!!

Gassho,
Joyo

[Byokan]

I am learning to be still and compassionate with people in these types of situations now, which is comforting. I have learned that I used to fear bad things happening not only because of the obvious, but also because I was afraid of how I would react. Now that I have started to react less from within myself, I have a less fear.

I'm pretty sure this is practice at work, so I bow to you all.

Hi Amelia,

wow, that is deep, and reminds me of what Kokuu was saying elsewhere about developing intimacy with ourselves. Sounds like... is it learning to have trust in yourself? That's something I struggle with. Your post makes me happy. Thank you for sharing your insight

Gassho
Lisa

[Amelia]

Thank you all. I am so grateful to the Sangha.

Lisa, if I think about it, yes, I am learning to trust myself. I was thinking before about how it is a trust in the Dharma, but really there's no separation. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Gassho

[Mp]

I am learning to trust myself

Just these few words are a beautiful and valuable teaching. =)

Gassho
Shingen

[Jundo]

Gratitude.

[Jinyo]

Deep bows Amelia,



Willow

[RichardH]

Hi Amelia. I can relate to what you are saying. Less fear. I can't think of any fruit of practice more liberating. I remember a childhood and early adult life lived in a pervasive atmosphere of anxiety and fear. It was so pervasive it was normal, almost invisible, as if that was how life is supposed to be. I think maybe that is typical.

I still get anxious or restless, but it is circumstantial, and it passes. When pushed, there are some karmic buttons that trigger a deep reaction, and I get swept up in thinking and imagined scenarios, but they also pass. I can sit. I can sit on a cushion and just sit there. It is wonderful, and it is Sangha support that is so essential. Good teachers and friends.

BTW I feel like I've known you for years... in the air of Indra's Buddha net.

Gassho
Daizan

[KellyRok]

Hello Amelia and all,

Thank you for sharing your experience with us Amelia! I relate so much with what you've shared. Personal fears can be such a powerful force if we let them be; and just realizing this fact, is showing compassion towards ourselves. Which of course, allows us to share that compassion with others.

So many beautiful comments here...I'm grateful that we have this space to share and grow together.

humble bows back to you Amelia,
Kelly/Jinmei

[Myosha]

Hello,

". . .this is practice at work. . ."

Great!


Gassho,
Myosha

[Joyo]

What Shingen said... beautiful Amelia, very glad you have shared here.

I too lived with fear and anxiety as a child, it was just an acceptable way to live, as there was so much to fear---the end times, stamp of the beast (666), hell, my dad, etc. etc. When I was around age 9 I had a complete mental breakdown because of it. I slowly crawled myself out, but still, never trusted myself. I was taught not too, because humans are wicked. I am very, very grateful to the dharma, Treeleaf for helping with such fear and anxiety, as now, as a Buddhist, I no longer have them.

Gassho,
Joyo

[Kyotai]

Thank you for sharing this Amelia.

Gassho, Shawn