Some questions about shikantaza - dealing with a raging storm in the mind

[Joyo]

Let the storm come. hear the thunder, feel the rain and, just sit there.

Gassho, Jeffrey

Such good advice, thank you for posting this.


Treena

[Ricky Ramos]

Thank you, Jundo, for those words. There was a time when I thought that mediatating was only to be in a state of oblivion from reality. Here I have learned that to mediatete, even though some times I may find myself in such a state, is more than that, it is to be there in the present and to flow with whatever I may go through. That way my mind will be clearer to do whatever I may do, once I finish sitting. In the mean time, I go with my reality and let things go, since my reality is that, reality which I am going through, whatever that may be.

"Without trying to change anything" does not mean we let the fires of our angry thoughts burn on and on!

We certainly --are-- "trying to change" the situation of being caught up in angry thoughts!

But how? Not by "slapping the water" to make it settle, but by stepping back and letting it settle down. We sit quiet and still, observing life with equanimity, acceptance of life, just allowing "what is" in life. We sit with a sense of the Wholeness and "nothing lacking" of Zazen. If one is accepting life "as is" complete with all its imperfections, hard to be angry!

We just stop slapping the water, and the water grows still and clear. We just stop adding fuel, and the fire naturally burns down.

If the "flow" to go with is a spinning tornado (speaking literally, not figuratively here), accept the tornado ... even as you run for the storm shelter wetting your pants. Our way is accepting life as it is ... even as simultaneously we try to change it because we cannot accept. Accepting and not accepting at once. (Like accepting with the right eye, even as we might not accept with the left eye).

If the "tornado" is (figuratively) a cancer diagnosis, or a boss at work who drives us bonkers ... we fully "are the flow" and allow it all, even as we take our chemotherapy and are not happy to be sick, even as we think about changing jobs. At one with the situation beyond "need for change", even as we try to change.

Tricky, perhaps. But that is because we live in a world where we are always "chasing after", "seeking to change things", looking for profit. We do not know how to accept even as we may not accept, at once. We do not know how to work for some goal on "channel 1", even as we simultaneously drop all goals on "channel 2" ... so wholly that we say "not 1, not 2".

Gassho, J

[kidbuda]

Ahhh such a great thread! thank you to all.

Some years ago, I had the same situation that you describe Ben, and a temporary mental tool I used was this:

Just before I start doing Shikantaza, I sit and ask myself "where are you" I answer "right here", then I ask "what time is it?" answer "right now" then ask "What are you?" I answer "This moment" and just then I find it easier to just sit and let the thougths pass as clouds in the sky without effort and so. Hope it is useful for you.

Gassho

kb

[Tiwala]

Frankly speaking,

I haven't the slightest idea of who I am.

Anyway, since making this thread, I've made some "progress" in the sense that I just let go.... I personally prefer looking at it as meeting this life and this mind face to face... as if for the very first time. This is what it is. I keep away even from words like 'sacred', 'whole', 'complete' when I sit. If there are traces of any mental constructs, it's probably a mixture of curiosity and a 'deal with it' attitude. I hope to eventually drop that with further practice. It has sort of helped me, in my own personal disposition, to just really sit, as I understand it.

I also practice what you practice... asking where I am, what I'm doing, who the hell I am etc. But I do this mostly throughout the day. Aside from daily shikantaza, I sometimes sit with the questioning. However, I consider any answers that pop up to be ultimately unsatisfactory.

"Not body, not mind, not heart, not buddha, not nothing, what is it?"

really, really, wondering who is typing at this very moment.

Gassho,
Ben

[William]

Great thread!

Gassho!


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[Kim]

Thank you Ben for sharing your experience! Your struggle and the responses have helped me so much.

Gassho, Kim