Feeling Overwhelmed

[Joyo]

A big thank you to everyone that posted here. Every single post has been so helpful. The dharma does feel like a candy shop, at times. I think I'm going to commit to the teachings that are here at Treeleaf instead of trying to add in all these Zen books. I am so grateful for all the wonderful dharma talks and advice here. I sat shikantaza last night after posting this and I did drop a lot of the feelings of being overwhelmed and anxiety in regards to parenting my two little boys.

Again, thank you, now I've got hungry children to feed breakfast so gotta go.....

gassho,
Treena

[Shokai]

Wow, some wonderful/powerful advice and council here
I particularly like Piobar's

Don't push the river. Let it flow by itself.

Taigu's

No big deal

and Jundo's

Slow and steady wins the raceless race.

David posted a peom on an other thread recently that I have been re-reading frequently in the past few days:

Mind set free in the Dharma-realm,
I sit at the moon-filled window
Watching the mountains with my ears,
Hearing the stream with open eyes.
Each molecule preaches perfect law,
Each moment chants true sutra:
The most fleeting thought is timeless,
A single hair is enough to stir the sea.

Thank you David and best wishes for your practice Treena

gassho,

[Kyonin]

For me this is a daily thing, but I think I do a good job surfing the tides of information.

We live in a society where we have too much of everything, and that includes Buddhism sites, magazines and books. I often get overwhelmed by the amount of info available.

At the end of the day I simply relax. If I have time, I read only a little a day, but sit with discipline and dedication.

In my humble experience, sitting is the only thing that matters.

Gassho,

Kyonin

[Myoku]

Hello Treena,
I not read all replies, so please forgive me if I just repeat someone ... I can much relate to what you say. I once discovered that all reading does not help me too much. What I needed to to was to sit. Sit zazen daily and let that work. It takes its time. But at least I too cannot remember and apply all that good advices. I think the good thing is, that we have a natural talent to be peaceful, aware, kind. I feel I only get it in the way, so it cannot come up. Not co get in its way comes natural when sitting. And reading, only sitting without reading wont work either (for me). Take care, and give yourself some time,
Gassho
Myoku

[Kyosei]

Treena,

Sometimes I feel like you do.

Hope we may slow down a bit while going forward on and on unfolding enlightment upon us.

Thank you for sharing this with us. And thank you for the answers.

_/\_

[odiedoodie]

Koshin, thank you for the kind and thoughtful words. I've been feeling badly about how I'm just not doing things right. Now I feel good, that I am accomplishing!
By the way, your English is very good.

[Emmet]

I've been feeling badly about how I'm just not doing things right.

Remember; if all you've been able to accomplish is three steps forward and two back (highly subjective and very unlikely, IMHO), that still constitutes walking!

[Taigu]

Sit daily and let that work. Yesp, Myoku, thats all there is to it. Thank you for your presence.

Gassho

Taigu

[Heion]

Like others have said, it all has to do with patience. If a person looks for the perfect drop of water in a stream, tasting each drop hastily to find the perfect one, then they miss out on all the drops and inevitably the perfect one. So I guess, just make sure to enjoy each article, teaching, and second as precious.


'Drop by drop is the water pot filled. Likewise, the wise man, gathering it little by little, fills himself with good.' -Buddha

This quote by Buddha is good. I feel what you are feeling, Emma, whenever I try to collect information too fast, and instead of allowing my 'pot' to naturally fill, I cram it with water.

Gassho,
Alex

[Risho]

Remember; if all you've been able to accomplish is three steps forward and two back (highly subjective and very unlikely, IMHO), that still constitutes walking!

Or a Paula Abdul song. lol

There is really nothing to add to this thread, but I have to because I'm compelled. I just read a section of Taigen Leighton's awesome book Zen Questions last night that touches on this point. It's in a section, where he discusses Genjokoan, and I never thought about it the way he said it. I'm paraphrasing, but there is a section in Genjokoan where Dogen talks about delusion and awakening. When we put ourselves onto things that is delusion, that is our idea of an imagined self perceiving the world, splitting it up so that we can understand it. When we let things express themselves through us, that is awakening.

To live life we have to split things up to know that we can eat that, we can't eat that. There is good and evil. But there is also a point where all of the distinctions fall away. But reality is both, isn't it? Those distinctions we make are real, but that is also just our perception of reality at the same. So at the same time everything is just flowing along.

Genjokoan, which is our practice, is both. And that's the hard part. Sitting is not about trying to become something, it's about seeing ourselves, studying ourself. That's how we forget ourselves. That inadequacy or fear or whatever we feels threatens ourself is delusion, but that's the part of Genjokoan, of our life, that judges and distinguishes. It's normal; it's part of being human. Zen is about being human and living this human life. But awakening is real to.. waking up to these tendencies. The middle way doesn't grasp or push away; it is magnanimous. It can also be very difficult. I often sit zazen and start getting pissed off that I'm not doing it right. hahahaha But as Piobair stated that's why it's practice. Who can perfect something that always changes? But I do know that if you fall down, you just step back up, dust yourself off. Don't worry about it, keep going. Genjokoan. That is Genjokoan!

Your day was shitty? I'm sorry, but go sit with it. By sitting with it, just sit. Maybe thoughts of the shitty day will come up, they do for me. Watch those. Watch how the resentment or anger builds up. Sometimes my thoughts surprise me, but don't push away. Learn about yourself by letting those thoughts flow by without grabbing or fueling them or pushing them away. Genjokoan!

Anyway it's just part of the zen territory to start feeling overwhelmed. It's a good sign that you care about the practice. but I've only been doing it for a couple years, so what the hell do I know? I do know that we have some great teachers and a great Sangha here, so we are all in good hands, i.e. if we are doing the practice ( we support and are supported by each other).

Gassho to everyone.

Risho

[Jundo]

Risho, nothing to add or that can be added perhaps ... but what you said was a good and worthwhile addition to the Teaching in this thread.

Gassho, J

[Joyo]

Again, thank you everyone!! I have really been focusing on one step up the mountain, not rushing, and just forgiving myself for my shortcomings. I'd never expect my kids to be perfect, so why do I have to be!!?? Risho, yes, it is delusion and I have never thought of that before. I remember listening to a dharma talk by TNH, he said that there is enough suffering in this world, we should not practice Buddhism in such a way that it becomes suffering also, we should be enjoying it.

Such good stuff here, thank you to all who posted!!

gassho,
Treena