Accepting death OR When to give up?

[Mika]

The Things to do when you're about to die... thread brought back to mind an old question of mine, so I'd like to share it and hear your views about the matter.

In the past I've occasionally wondered how different religious beliefs / world views might affect one's attitude toward The End and how long one hangs on (my hypothesis was that if you are looking for some kind of afterlife you might be willing to give up - and pass on - more easily than those who view this life as their one time chance), but now I'd like to hear how one should cope with the issue.

So, let's say a person has been diagnosed with a terminal illness - one that all the available doctors say will lead to their death sooner rather than later. Is there a point in battling such thing when one should simply accept the reality that one is dying and stop trying to find a cure and resort to only the medicine necessary to make the end a peaceful one (like pain medication etc.)? Or should we fight with all available resources till the last moment?

Because the human mind can have a tremendous effect on the body the will to live can be a deciding factor in how well one recovers (or copes with) a serious illness or accident, so the attitude towards the end might mean days or weeks or maybe even years in the lifetime of an individual.

Personally I find it difficult to imagine a situation when I wouldn't want to experience life a moment longer (or as long as humanly possible :lol, but my views could be changed if extending life would mean painful or extremely unpleasant medical treatment for the rest of it.

[Mensch]

The opposite of life (= aliveness) is not death: the opposite is clinging. So if my sense of aliveness depended on mere extension of my organs' operativeness it's probably not worth bothering at all. Just my two cents.

Regards,
Mensch


Great advice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bnxdqm9Pbjo[/video]]How to cope with death.

[Jun]

An uncle of mine was told by his specialists that he had only a few months to live, having been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer - that was 18 years ago. My uncles response was, "Nope, I'm not gonna die yet, I'm not ready and that's just not acceptable."

Giving in is already a sign of defeat.

[Jundo]

Re: Accepting death OR When to give up?

Hi Mika,

I don't think that there is a single "right" answer for this. My wife and I volunteer at a Hospice (Lynn, any input on this?), and it appears to me that there are so many personal ways that different people, and their families, choose to approach a terminal illness.

With modern medical care able to keep us going so long, with the heart beating after the rest of the body has been broken, I have had to make such choices for both my father and, last year, my mother. In my mother's case, a treatment for her kidneys might have given her a few more weeks but, looking at the total situation, I chose not too. She was barely aware, in pain ... These days, most families are faced with such hard decisions.

So, let's say a person has been diagnosed with a terminal illness - one that all the available doctors say will lead to their death sooner rather than later. Is there a point in battling such thing when one should simply accept the reality that one is dying and stop trying to find a cure and resort to only the medicine necessary to make the end a peaceful one (like pain medication etc.)? Or should we fight with all available resources till the last moment?

Life is constant choices, some very hard and with no "best" solution. It is up to the individual (or if they cannot choose, the family) to follow their hearts. All Buddhism says, I believe, is to live as you live, die when you die. If you can, live fully with every moment just as in that old Koan about the fellow who, chased over a cliff, takes a moment to savor a strawberry.

I believe that the Precept cautioning against taking Life may allow even Doctor assisted suicide for the terminally ill (when pain is too great), but that is just my opinion.

If the situation presents itself, you have to make your own choice ... and there is no "should do" to it. The one place Buddhism might assist is to say that, perhaps, you need not view the situation as "hopeless" (a state of mind) or consider a period of time as "long" or "short" (another state of mind). Nor do we have to consider a physical limitation as a limitation (a Zen friend of mine, after a mototcycle accident put him in a wheelchair for life, said "I used to walk walk, going no where. Now I just roll roll").

I had another friend who, accepting a cancer and not resisting, yet fought the good fight through chemotherapy. Eventually, my friend just let events take their course and declined further treatment. He would have agreed with BOTH Mensch and Jun: Giving in is a sign of defeat, yet do not cling to life when clinging is not called for.

Because the human mind can have a tremendous effect on the body the will to live can be a deciding factor in how well one recovers (or copes with) a serious illness or accident, so the attitude towards the end might mean days or weeks or maybe even years in the lifetime of an individual.

Yes, there have been some good studies on meditation as part of a cancer recovery program.

http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cg ... t/62/5/613

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entre ... xed=google

Gassho, Jundo