Modern Vinaya Precepts (Silly Spin-off Alert)

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  • Kelly M.
    Member
    • Sep 2007
    • 225

    Modern Vinaya Precepts (Silly Spin-off Alert)

    :!: This is a silly spin-off of the actually very interesting 'Ordination' thread.

    Originally posted by Kenneth
    Hi Harry,

    OK, I'll give it a go.

    There were 250 monks precepts and 348 precepts for nuns. Let's assume the latter include the former and since we're all for equality here at Treeleaf let's assume those 348 rules apply to males and females for our purposes. I think the Buddha taught for about 45 years. Also let's assume 2500 years have gone by since then (since there is no real concensus on his dates of birth/death).

    So, we have 348 / 45 = 7.73333 precepts / year.

    2500 years * 7.73333 precepts / year = 19,333.333 precepts.

    Hey, that's not too bad at all, in any case it's a lot less than 740,000 !

    Who wants to think about what they may be and start typing them in for use at Treeleaf???

    Gassho
    Ken
    Ok, here is the scenario:

    The creation of Vinaya precepts did not cease after the Buddha’s death, but rather kept accumulating. As Harry and Ken have suggested, we are now at 19,333 in total. In order to help this important process along (and insure the legitimacy of ordained Monks), what additional Vinaya precepts should be added?

    To get the ball rolling…

    #19,334- Never wear socks in sandals.

    #19,335- You break it, you’ve bought it!

    #19,336- Cell phones off in the meditation hall.

    #19,337- Movie night on Wednesdays.
    Live in joy and love, even among those who hate
    Live in joy and health, even among the afflicted
    Live in joy and peace, even among the troubled
    Look within and be still; free from fear and grasping
    Know the sweet joy of living in the way.
  • Komoku
    Member
    • Sep 2007
    • 55

    #2
    # 19,338- No penny loafers with shorts.
    # 19,339- Fridays are casual.
    # 19,340- If the Dharma teacher is five minutes late it's canceled.
    Gassho,

    Komoku
    古黙

    Sat

    Comment

    • Komoku
      Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 55

      #3
      Oh, I had rejected my attachment to parodies and such, but Kelly made me do it. It would be very unbuddhist not to take full responsibility.
      Gassho,

      Komoku
      古黙

      Sat

      Comment

      • Jundo
        Treeleaf Founder and Priest
        • Apr 2006
        • 40352

        #4
        Sorry to poop the party ... but maybe let's not make light of other Buddhist's beliefs?

        There is enough to make fun of about our own ....
        ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

        Comment

        • paige
          Member
          • Apr 2007
          • 234

          #5
          Originally posted by Jundo
          There is enough to make fun of about our own ....
          You mean 9 clay balls?

          Comment

          • Jundo
            Treeleaf Founder and Priest
            • Apr 2006
            • 40352

            #6
            Paige refers to Dogen Zenji's very detailed instructions in the Shobogenzo for using the toilet, including wiping using small, damp clay balls about one inch in diameter, an ancient practice. I will be sure to cover that chapter of Shobogenzo sometime in the near future.

            I prefer supermarket brand Charmin.

            Gassho, J
            ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

            Comment

            • will
              Member
              • Jun 2007
              • 2331

              #7
              Awsome. That sounds so strange.I'm going to check it out.

              Gassho
              [size=85:z6oilzbt]
              To save all sentient beings, though beings are numberless.
              To penetrate reality, though reality is boundless.
              To transform all delusion, though delusions are immeasurable.
              To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.
              [/size:z6oilzbt]

              Comment

              • Fuken
                Member
                • Sep 2006
                • 435

                #8
                Originally posted by Jundo
                Paige refers to Dogen Zenji's very detailed instructions in the Shobogenzo for using the toilet, including wiping using small, damp clay balls about one inch in diameter, an ancient practice. I will be sure to cover that chapter of Shobogenzo sometime in the near future.

                I prefer supermarket brand Charmin.

                Gassho, J
                I thought the 9 clay balls were for washing and the poop stick or paper were for wiping. I will have to re-read that chapter when I get back home. The brain is strange how it remembers things sometimes.

                Gassho,
                Jordan
                Yours in practice,
                Jordan ("Fu Ken" translates to "Wind Sword", Dharma name givin to me by Jundo, I am so glad he did not name me Wind bag.)

                Comment

                • Jundo
                  Treeleaf Founder and Priest
                  • Apr 2006
                  • 40352

                  #9
                  The shit stick was used in other lineages. Every lineage has its own ancient traditions ...

                  http://books.google.com/books?id=ISaR9V ... Y#PPA82,M1
                  ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

                  Comment

                  • Kelly M.
                    Member
                    • Sep 2007
                    • 225

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Jundo
                    Sorry to poop the party ... but maybe let's not make light of other Buddhist's beliefs?

                    You are correct, my apologies. My first instinct when faced with frustration is humour. But intolerance of intolerance is still intolerance.

                    Gassho,
                    Kelly

                    PS- Clay balls and shit sticks… my girlfriend already thinks I’m odd at times with the Zen quirks I have picked up thus far; me thinks a shit stick in the bathroom would reduce me to a single man.
                    Live in joy and love, even among those who hate
                    Live in joy and health, even among the afflicted
                    Live in joy and peace, even among the troubled
                    Look within and be still; free from fear and grasping
                    Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

                    Comment

                    • Jundo
                      Treeleaf Founder and Priest
                      • Apr 2006
                      • 40352

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Jordan
                      I thought the 9 clay balls were for washing and the poop stick or paper were for wiping. I will have to re-read that chapter when I get back home. The brain is strange how it remembers things sometimes.
                      Dear Jordan,

                      On further checking, I stand corrected. Although the passage (pun intended) is a bit obscure, I believe that seven (7) balls of soil are described for monks in the outdoors, and a lesser number are to be used for washing and drying the anus in the monastery after use of a stick (or series of sticks) "eight sun long (9.6 inches) of triangular section, and the thickness of a thumb, some lacquered and some not". (Senjo)

                      So, please do not trust anything I say in the future regarding the Shobogenzo, starting with the Genjo Koan we will discuss today.

                      Gassho & Good Hygiene, Jundo
                      ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

                      Comment

                      • Eika
                        Member
                        • Sep 2007
                        • 806

                        #12
                        Thank goodness for modern conveniences :!: The triangular stick thing does not sound pleasant . . . but I suppose if that's all you had . . .

                        Bill
                        [size=150:m8cet5u6]??[/size:m8cet5u6] We are involved in a life that passes understanding and our highest business is our daily life---John Cage

                        Comment

                        • will
                          Member
                          • Jun 2007
                          • 2331

                          #13
                          Yep. The 3 sea shell from Demolition man were the first things to come to mind.

                          G,W
                          [size=85:z6oilzbt]
                          To save all sentient beings, though beings are numberless.
                          To penetrate reality, though reality is boundless.
                          To transform all delusion, though delusions are immeasurable.
                          To attain the enlightened way, a way non-attainable.
                          [/size:z6oilzbt]

                          Comment

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