Fresh Start

[Jundo]

Dave,

It sounds as if you have been through many little worldly hells, and also encountered some grace and friendship and Wisdom along the way. Sometime it seems as if all hits the fan at once. I would like to say that this is your Karma which you are burning through (or perhaps just one of those runs of life and bad luck, no matter), and you will come through this stronger, wiser ... free.

One can either fall in, trapped and wallowing, or see through and step beyond. It sounds as if you are now on the better course. Take it easy, step by step. We are all here to support you.

Zazen and Buddhist Practice, like sailing a boat, is easy on sunny days ... but the stormy days hone and prove the real master sailors.

Gassho, Jundo

[Heisoku]

Yeah I sense what you are saying but like what Jundo said this is your karma and in my book facing it down, burning it and in the end accepting it takes a fair amount of courage and guts at times. I know it and seen it in others and I have also seen what happens when this is not the case.
By the way I find it easier to sit in hard times rather than good!?! Dunno why?

Gassho

[Koshin]

Thank you for this thread Dave.... the hard times on our practice are the ones that teach us the most.... it reminds me a thread from Jigetsu talking about wanting to start over, like "rebooting" the Practice..... in any case, I have the feeling in my gut that those times when we don't sit, when Karma strikes with it's ugliest face, when we want to throw in the towel (or the Rakusu ), that is EXACTLY how our practice has to be in that moment, that is how we sit without sitting, practice without noticing it..... until we realize (generally with the help of our Dharma brothers) what we can learn from this....so, thank you very much

Glad things are going better now, take great care of you and your Rakusu

Gassho

[Shonin]

Jundo, I was definitely the former. Bu I dunno something just clicked and hopefully i'm starting the latter now.

Thanks again Heisoku and Koshin. Much appreciated. _/\_

[YuimaSLC]

I am exactly where I am at. Starting over might be construed as wiping-the-slate-clean or some other kind of atonement. So, starting now without the idea that the house needs to be cleaned, first, is more realistic and ultimately more helpful. As my daughter says to her 4-year old (and I think sometimes it's more appropriate to myself), "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit".
May you be at peace, embracing all of life's conditions.
Please, keep the rakusu. It's not the past. It's present as much as you.

with kindness

Richard

[Jishin]

This too shall pass.

Gassho, John.

[Nenka]

Shonin, I'd keep the rakusu, if only to question the ideas you have built around it. Would destroying it really be a fresh start? I say this as someone who often throws things out when times are not so great. Then I wonder why I did it.

I also say this because I had a hard time sort of accepting my rakusu when I was done making it. I didn't see that coming, it's just that I'd take it out of the bag sometimes and think, why did I make this . . . religious garment? I had some kind of idea about it that I had to sit through for a long time to really understand. Kind of a koan, like Jundo says. My feelings about it have changed over the past year. It now symbolizes an important path I've started, and all the sangha members who are there with me. And I like that Jundo signed the back panel and sent it to me. I mean, I know that's the procedure and all, but it's still really nice that I have a teacher who took the time and did that. I suppose my feelings may change again and again as time goes on. But if I were to intentionally destroy it . . . really, would that destroy whatever idea I had attached to it?

Besides, if we all started over making a new rakusu every time we fell away from the practice . . .

My best to you in hard times. Hope things keep getting better.

Gassho,

Jen

[Dosho]

Shonin,

Like was said above, don't destroy: create!

It's good to hear from you here on the forum, although I have kept tabs on you via Facebook. Always great to see a familiar face return (although you never really left).

Come, sit with us.

Gassho,
Dosho

[Shonin]

Dosho, yeah I have been blessed with some folks friended on FB.

For the few that have missed it ( and that's totally cool ) I did decide to keep the Rakusu and honestly feel differently about it now. Thanks once more for the awesome advice ,metta and wisdom. I really am appreciative.

Dave _/\_

[Mp]

Dosho, yeah I have been blessed with some folks friended on FB.

For the few that have missed it ( and that's totally cool ) I did decide to keep the Rakusu and honestly feel differently about it now. Thanks once more for the awesome advice ,metta and wisdom. I really am appreciative.

Dave _/\_

Nice to hear Shonin in.

Gassho
Shingen