Uchiyama Roshi: Right now, right here, I live simply

[Daitetsu]

Many thanks for sharing this, Jundo!

About "too much vs. not enough practice":
I think this is probably an individual thing as well.

What is - for me personally - most important about Zazen:
- To sit every day. Sitting regularly for say 20 mins is more imporant than to sit an awful lot of time on one day and then don't sit at all for several days.
- To incorporate zazen in my daily life
- To sit in order to sit, i.e. no goals.
- To sit with a sincere attitude. Otherwise there is a great danger of shikantaza actually becoming nothing more than daydreaming.
- Not to be attached to sitting: I sit very regularly (hardly missing a day, even when I'm sick), but on those rare days that I cannot sit, I neither feel bad about it nor do I have a bad conscience. If that were the case I would have to change my attitude towards my practice as this would be a sign of attachment. And being attached is one of those things I try to avoid in my life as good as I can.

When it comes to this practice I also love Kodo Sawaki's books. In the German edition of "The Zen Teaching of 'Homeless' Kodo" there is a speech by Uchiyama Roshi called "About Kodo Sawaki Roshi's Zazen" that is simply brilliant. Perhaps Jundo or Taigu have this speech in English somewhere and can share it...


Gassho,

Timo

[Kaishin]

Thank you for sharing, Jundo. It is so easy to forget that the world is not here to entertain us.
Gassho, Kaishin

[arnold]

This really is brilliant. It seems to me that Dogen's

"From now on, my mind is settled,
I leave everything to causes and condtions."

and Uchiyama Roshi''s

"Being satisfied with dissatisfaction.
Right now, right here
I live simply."

Really touch the heart of our practice; our lives. So many of the comments here do so as well. Thank you Jundo. Thank you everyone.

[AlanLa]

I think some of what Uchiyama describes in terms of long sitting might be culturally located in the sense that the culture in Asia believes in the value of persevering through all obstacles without complaining, thus they come up with a tool, the zenpan, in order to do that. Here in the west we don't believe in that the same way at all (plus we place a lot more value on complaining), so we have different forms and varieties of practice unique to us, like Treeleaf for example.

[Jundo]

I want to clarify some things.

Let me mention that Taigu and I strongly encourage folks to go for retreats for intensive sittings, Sesshin, of many days ... even a week or two or longer ... waking early in the morning, sitting late into the evening. All Zen Teachers that I know do. Why? I usually write this:

Now, someone might ask too, "if each moment is all time and space, and Zazen is 'good for nothing', what is the purpose of an intensive Sesshin?" Well, I often say that, sometimes, we need to practice a bit long and hard, morning to night ... sitting and wrestling with 'me, my self and I' ... all to achieve nothing to attain, and taste the good of 'good for nothing'! Going to Retreats, Sesshin and such is a powerful facet of this Practice and not to be missed.

Most Sesshin I know are not quite as long in length or amount of Zazen as at Antaiji, but most sit many times a day, for 30, 40 or 45 minutes at a time, two or three times back to back, in many sets each day. Most intersperse work periods, lecture periods, eating periods, break periods, sleep period, chanting periods ... but all are one, continuous flowing Zazen in its wider meaning. Most still have lots and lots of sitting on the Zafu sitting (especially in Soto Zen). Furthermore, sitting a Sesshin of 14 periods of 50 minutes each will teach one a lot about one's self and this "no gain".

It is really not a matter of long or short, start or finish ... and thus it is very good to sometimes sit perhaps 14 periods of 50 minutes each per day such as at Antaiji! If you can get to a Sesshin were one sits long and hard for days on end (even if not quite as much as Antaiji or the like), I truly recommend it as integral to this Practice. We sit long and hard sometimes because it truly is not a matter of quantity or the clock or anything to gain!

Strange, huh!?

It is also not a matter of place ... and we should "sit Zazen" too in the hospital bed, death bed, nursery room, grocery line, city bus. Nonetheless, we go to the Retreat at the Zen Center or temple or monastery to sit in a room on a Zafu, precisely because it is not a matter of "where" or "place."

Strange, huh!?

However, if people can't go to a Sesshin because of a physical limitation or other impossibility, that is okay too! If really it is not possible, sit right where one is (or if in that hospital bed, have one's sesshin reclining right there!)

Strange, huh!?

If one sits with greed and desire to attain, than it does not matter if it is 5 seconds or 50 hours or 5000 years ... a waste of time.

If one sits free of greed and desire to attain, than a second is a second of Buddha, 5000 years just 5000 years of Buddha.

This we sit each day ... beyond and right through-and-through the ticking clock. If done with greed, 50 minutes 14 times a day is much too long and much too short AT ONCE! ... what Sawaki Roshi called "sitting with a thief's mind".

In his book Living By Vow, Okumura Roshi tells the following story, very much like Uchiyama Roshi's. This is the same Okumura Roshi who leads the "14 periods of 50 minutes each per day" at his own Zen Center, but he says this:

After graduation l had practiced with Uchiyama Roshi at Antaii-ji until
1975 when he retired. There our practice was focused on sitting. We sat
nine Periods daily for more than a year. We had a five-day sesshin each
month except February and August. During sesshin we sat fourteen
periods a day for five days. We had no ceremony, no chanting, and no
lecture. We just sat.

In 1975 I went to Massachusetts [to build Valley Zendo, a new practice center in the woods
with two other Japanese monks from Antaiji]. … We sat four periods daily. We had a
one-day sesshin every Sunday and a five-day sesshin each month.We cut
trees, pulled out stumps,and made a green garden, all with hand tools.
We dug a well with shovels. We used a huge amount of firewood for
cooking and heating. ... After five years, I had pain in
my neck, shoulders, elbows, and knees from the hard physical labor. I
couldn't work, and sitting sesshin was very difficult. I had no health
insurance or money for medical treatment. I had to return to Japan.
When l got back l was completely alone. My body was half broken.
I had no money, no job,and no place to live or practice. I stayed at my brother’s
apartment in Osaka for several months while he traveled in
the United states. Then l moved to Seitai-an, a small temple in Kyoto
where I lived as a caretaker for three years. Seitai-an is near Antaiji’s
original site. There l had a monthly five-day sesshin with one of my
Dharma brothers and cotranslator, Rev. Daitsu Tom Wright, and a few
other people. I couldn't practice as l had before because of my physical
condition. This was the first time l had lived and practiced alone after
ten years at Antaiji and Valley Zendo. I had to give up medical treat-
ments. Initially l did takuhatsu (begging) to raise money for them.
But during takuhatsu, we hang a zudabukuro (a bag) from our necks.
This aggravted my neck injury and my chiropractor said it wouldn't
get better if l continued to do takuhatsu. It was a vicious circle. Finally
I gave up both takuhatsu and the treatments. I did takuhatsu only a
few times a month to survive. When l had extra income l spent it on
books.

I had a hard time for several months while l was staying at my broth-
ers apartment before moving to Seitai-an. I was bewildered and didn't
know what to do. My biggest problem was that l couldn't practice as
I had for the last ten years because of my physical condition. In my
twenties l had committed my entire life-energy to practice. Nothing
else had seemed important to me. I didn't know how to live outside
that way of Practice.

While in this situation, I read a Japanese translation of Buddha-carita,
a biography of the Buddha written by the famous lndian Buddhist Poet
Asvaghosa. When describing the Buddha’s experience of seeing the old,
sick and dead outside the gates of his Palace, the author refers to the
“arrogance of youth and health.” This expression hit me. I realized that
my belief that practice was the best and most meaningful waγ of life
was nothing more than the "arrogance of youth and health." That’s why
I was at a loss when l could no longer practice that way because of my
health. My previous practice had been an attempt to satisfy a need for
status and benefit. I wanted to live a better life than ordinary people.
Ever since l read Uchiyama Roshi’s book as a high school student and
began practicing according to Dogen Zenji’s teachings, I knew that I
should not practice zazen for gain. Sawaki Roshi, Uchiyama Roshi’s
teacher, said that zazen is good for nothing. Dogen Zenji says that we
should practice Buddha Dharma only for the sake of Buddha Dharma,
with no expectations. That is shikantaza, or just sitting. I knew all of
this and thought l had been practicing with the correct attitude.
Now, when I found myself unable to continue that practice, I was
perplexed and depressed. I didn’t know what to do. I discovered that
I had relied on practice that was possible only for the young and healthy.
I used the teachings of the Buddha, Dogen Zenji, Sawaki
Roshi, and Uchiyama Roshi to fulfill my own desires. This discovery
completely broke my "arrogance of youth and health” I saw cleary that
my practice had not been for the sake of Buddha Dharma but for
my own self-satisfaction. I knew l couldn't continue to practice with this
attitude. Nor could l stop practicing and go back to an ordinary life.
I was stuck in this situation for some time.

One day something made me sit on a cushion. I had no desire, no rea-
son, no need to sit, but found myself sitting at the apartment by myself. It
was very peaceful. I didn't sit because of the Buddha’s teachings. I
didn't need a reason to sit; I just sat. There was no need to compete
with others or with myself. Thereafter, I did not need to sit as often as I
had before. I could sit just as much as my physical condition allowed.
Finally, I felt free of my understanding of the Buddhas teachings and
my desire to be a good monk. I felt free to be myself and nothing more.
I was still a deluded, ordinary human being with ignorance and desires.
But when l just sat and let go of thoughts, I was ― or more precisely, my
zazen was ― free of ignorance and selfish desires.

In the German edition of "The Zen Teaching of 'Homeless' Kodo" there is a speech by Uchiyama Roshi called "About Kodo Sawaki Roshi's Zazen" that is simply brilliant. Perhaps Jundo or Taigu have this speech in English somewhere and can share it...

Yes, Okumura Roshi discusses this very section, and expresses more of this in the Talk that was posted on another thread today ...

Zazen is Good For Nothing

http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showthread.php?10814-Shohaku-Okumura-Roshi-Dharma-Talk

Gassho, Jundo

PS - For those who are really really limited in there ability to get to Sesshin in a Zen Center or the like made of bricks and wood, we have our Annual "All Online" two-day Retreat too (each December, via live netcast) at Treeleaf Sangha ... traditional (yet "fully online") ...

http://www.treeleaf.org/sit-a-long/with-jundo-and-taigu/archives/2011/12/-welcome-toour-treeleafat.html

... but this is a case where it is actually good to go to a retreat center and practice with folks for a time (if at all possible ... which it ain't for everybody).

Gassho, Jundo

[Myozan Kodo]

Thanks Jundo.

Hi Brian,
I'll go back and check Living By Vow when I have it to hand. As I was saying, I'm working from memory.

I think he says sometime about sitting long and hard for years, and then feeling that burden lift, as he realised that he did not have to sit that way.

I'll see if I can get the exact quote and post it.

Gassho
Myozan

[Daitetsu]

Thanks a lot, Jundo - somehow not strange at all! (And thanks for the link to the other thread)


Gassho,

Timo

[Jundo]

Thanks Jundo.

Hi Brian,
I'll go back and check Living By Vow when I have it to hand. As I was saying, I'm working from memory.

I think he says sometime about sitting long and hard for years, and then feeling that burden lift, as he realised that he did not have to sit that way.

I'll see if I can get the exact quote and post it.

Gassho
Myozan

Hi Myozan,

Isn't that the same section I just posted??

Gassho, Jundo

[Myozan Kodo]

Hi Jundo,
I have to check. It probably is. I remember making a few comments in the margins of the book when I read it on this point. But I'm not sure if it's the same quote as you cite above. Does he only touch on this once in the book? If he does, then your citation above must be the one I'm thinking of. I remember a much shorter quote ...

I'll check tonight.

Gassho and thanks,
Myozan

[Brian Roessler]

When it comes to this practice I also love Kodo Sawaki's books. In the German edition of "The Zen Teaching of 'Homeless' Kodo" there is a speech by Uchiyama Roshi called "About Kodo Sawaki Roshi's Zazen" that is simply brilliant. Perhaps Jundo or Taigu have this speech in English somewhere and can share it...


Gassho,

Timo

I have this essay in English in a book that may be out of print now. I'll check - If it is OOP, I can try to scan it and post a PDF if people would like to have it.

[Brian Roessler]

Ok. It is OOP - I'm pretty sure it is in the book 'The Zen Teaching of Homeless Kodo'. My copy is out on loan right now so I'm working from memory here, but a new edition of that book will be published in less than a year. Hopefully this essay will still be included!

[Myozan Kodo]

Hi,
I've gone through Living By Vow. I cant find another similar reference. The one Jundo posted must be the one that came to my mind. But somehow I thought it was different. My old head isn't what it used to be!

Will have to get that book when its back in print, Brian.

Gassho
Myozan

[Genshin]

Thank you Jundo

Gassho
Matt

[Kaishin]

I keep coming back to this passage again and again. I can't believe how often I slip into this very line of thinking. Thank you, again.

Too many people believe that this world exists to satisfy desires,
which are based on their self-centered thoughts. In reality, this world
does not exist to fulfill our desires. In fact, things do not proceed in
accordance with our expectations. And yet, somehow, we don't accept
this. Consequently, we often complain that things do not go well, and
we struggle and make a great fuss.

[Dojin]

thank you Jundo. i really ties up with what I was talking about earlier. It's what I ment by just living. I think that being greedy with the practice snd trying to attain something is something I still sometimes catch myself fighting the desire to be a "good Buddhist"

Gassho, Dojin.