Buddhist inspiration thread - Get In Here!

[Heisoku]

When I truly think about this it is as much about the people I have hurt as those who have hurt me. Without the pain and shame the comfort road would have been as easty option. In a desperate moment I was reading from Conze's Buddhist Scriptures and read aloud the Three refuges. I now live in that place. On the way here Dogen has been a light to delve into and on that journey I made it here to Treeleaf and you ALL are inspirational in ways you cannot imagine. Jundo and Taigu are the yin yang twins for me and both well..... gusho!gusho!gusho!!!

[disastermouse]

I know that myself - I rarely express gratitude overtly and I was feeling especially grateful when I wrote this post. I used to be so gawddamned punk rock that I didn't acknowledge the importance of inspiration or the parts of the community that have kept me on the path.

It is a bit contrived, in the way that most overt displays of gratitude seem contrived. I'm as uncomfortable as most with overtly expressed gratitude (ask Steph), but I think I want that to change.

Also, I think it's hilarious that I accidentally left Siddhartha off the list. LMAO!

Also - I wonder what this post says about me who used to hate this sort of 'softy-soft' Zen style. Am I losing my edge? If so, then happily! I've long wondered how long it would take me to more permanently learn the lesson that not everyone is engaged in a tragically hopeless attempt to be me.

Chet

[disastermouse]

Inspired? Inspired to what in this practice? Everyone I have ever known, have known of, or will know inspires me indirectly; yet, no one inspires my practice directly. There is nothing to aspire to in my practice, so how could I be inspired by another?

You're just too Zen for me, Lou. So punk rawk!

Chet

[disastermouse]

I would say the same. I am inspired by the people too who may have been the source of pain or troubles in life as much as those who were more positive influences. We should be inspired by the old man and the infant, friends and strangers, the whole phone book, trash cans and mountains. I am especially grateful to Taigu, and to the folks I consider Teachers, official and unofficial. There was Azuma Ikuo Roshi. There is Nishijima Roshi ... there is Doshin Cantor ... and Jiho Sargent.

If this is like one of those "thank you" speeches at the Oscars, time to play the music or we will go on all night!

Thank you for the inspiration of the folks at Treeleaf too, all of you are Teachers.

Gassho, J

No one stands out of the crowd at all?

Nijishima? Dogen? Everyone and everything drives us to the practice, but some people are special in that they've helped determine our more particular path.

To what to aspire? For me, it has been rebooting my daily practice, getting more involved with the sangha, and reaching out for help. I might even have a few dokusan questions now that I'm sitting more often.

Chet

[alan.r]

I like the gratefulness felt here. It does come through.

Just thought I would add though: when I read Dogen, I don't think about Dogen. When I read Dogen, his words almost seem like my words, and it is as though they came from inside me. Likewise, when I read David Foster Wallace, I don't think about David Foster Wallace. In one sense, I could say that, yes, these people are inspirations, but what they seem to be to me are different names with the same face, that same thing smiling through both of them, and I can see that face, which is also mine and yours. In the same way, friends I have known who I might consider inspirational have this same face and it is perhaps easier from my vantage point to see each in each, and I could name them here, but why chart out a tree which we perceive to be more inspirational than some other when that other is the same, though the looking's tougher or the looker's biased, as we all are.

Seems like playing the favorite movie thing, the desert-island thing, with people. I don't think there's anything wrong with this thread, but for me better to quietly just let these people know I'm grateful and not worry about it otherwise.

Gassho,
alan

[Jinyo]

I like the gratefulness felt here. It does come through.

Just thought I would add though: when I read Dogen, I don't think about Dogen. When I read Dogen, his words almost seem like my words, and it is as though they came from inside me. Likewise, when I read David Foster Wallace, I don't think about David Foster Wallace. In one sense, I could say that, yes, these people are inspirations, but what they seem to be to me are different names with the same face, that same thing smiling through both of them, and I can see that face, which is also mine and yours. In the same way, friends I have known who I might consider inspirational have this same face and it is perhaps easier from my vantage point to see each in each, and I could name them here, but why chart out a tree which we perceive to be more inspirational than some other when that other is the same, though the looking's tougher or the looker's biased, as we all are.

Seems like playing the favorite movie thing, the desert-island thing, with people. I don't think there's anything wrong with this thread, but for me better to quietly just let these people know I'm grateful and not worry about it otherwise.

Gassho,
alan

Alan - thank you for this - you've expressed so well what I've been chewing on all day.

There is nothing wrong with this thread - the reason I felt uncomfortable is because the word 'inspiring' didn't feel quite right (for me). The sense of 'coming home' - of an inner resonance - in the spoken /written word is what moves and encourages me.

The other aspect that made me a bit uncomfortable was the notion of naming members from Tree Leaf. I have gained so much from being here - really from everyone.

I know it's probably my over-sensitivity again - but to roll out names ia a bit like when the bright kids in class get a gold star and the others are left feeling a bit inadequate.

Anyway - that's just me - sorry if it came across as dismissive.

Gassho

Willow

[Omoi Otoshi]

The other aspect that made me a bit uncomfortable was the notion of naming members from Tree Leaf. I have gained so much from being here - really from everyone.

I know it's probably my over-sensitivity again - but to roll out names ia a bit like when the bright kids in class get a gold star and the others are left feeling a bit inadequate.

Thank you Willow. That is it exactly.

Nothing wrong with the topic, or the intent, but the picking out and naming individual Treeleaf members makes me a little uncomfortable too. I think it's great to show one's appreciation of other members, but perhaps it's better done through a PM or by responding to their posts. By saying that the thread made me uncomfortable, I didn't mean to put down Chet in any way. Just sharing my feelings.

Gassho,

[threethirty]

My list would look a lot like the above but my inspiration list is as follows: (in no particular order)

Treeleafers
Brad Warner
Noah Lavine
Dogen
Bodhidharma
Sifu Chango Noaks
My Shaolin Ancestors

[Amelia]

I agree with Willow and Pontus.

[tedmac]

I was just inspired by the cold to put another log on the fire, but that is about as far as it goes.

Inspiring the wind,
Expiring the morning fog;
We live to be breathed.

[Amelia]

Gassho tedmac

[Ekai]

I agree with Willow and Pontus.

Ditto.

Gassho,
Ekai

[RichardH]

It's an awkward self-conscious thread... but the squrminess only goes so deep. There are squirmier threads imho.

Gassho, kojip

[disastermouse]

I wonder if it'd have been less disturbing had I not mentioned Treeleaf people. Then again, it's Treeleaf in general that I feel most grateful about.

And it DOES make me squirm a little to say shit like this - that was kind of the point. Going out of my way to express gratitude and, more disconcerting still - influence and dependence - makes me VERY self-conscious.

Saying nothing when I felt gratitude seemed unnecessarily stoic. Acknowledging that Taigu seems crazy but still on the mark a frightening amount of the time seemed honest. Pointing out that Jundo has been fair when it could have been easy not to be also seemed honest. These things do inspire me to not shit myself a la Taigu and to be fair a la Jundo.

I didn't express gratitude because I felt like anyone particularly needed to hear it, but because I thought it might do me some good to learn how to say things like that. Holding back my expression of gratitude has been very destructive in my life.

At first blush, it may seem like apple polishing, I suppose. However, lets be honest here and acknowledge that I'm not exactly an ambitiously rising star here at Treeleaf. I've been here (forced ban aside) for four years and haven't so much as gotten my funny Buddhist name yet. I haven't even sat a live zazenkai here.

Chet

[Omoi Otoshi]

Who needs to be a star eh,Yakunezumi?

Pontus