To die well

[Kokuu]

Hi Onsho

In Tibetan Buddhist practice there is a lot of focus on death, of visualising it and doing practices that prepare us for the eventually break own of our physical bodies. This focus I see as being twofold:

1. To grasp the importance of living right now and practicing, in the same way as the Zen evening gatha tells us not to squander our life as time is short.
2. To allow for a peaceful death when the time comes and, in that tradition, preparation for any lives ahead.

I tend to focus on living as best as I can and figure that death will largely take care of itself if I continue to practice opening to each moment as it comes. I may have a peaceful death or I may not. Mostly the dying process is a small part of our lives and Dogen's advice seems to be that when living, live totally, and when dying, give yourself completely to that. The Buddha way is not outside of birth and death. As he says in Shobogenzo Shoji:

[I]n Buddhism it is said that life itself is no-life. Death is also a position in time, and too has a before and after. So it is said that death itself is no-death. When it is called life, there is nothing but life. When it is called death, there is nothing but death. If life come, this is life. If death comes, this is death. There is no reason for your being under their control. Don't put any hope in them. This life and death are the life of the Buddha. If you try to throw them away in denial, you lost the life of the Buddha. You only cling to the appearance of the Buddha. If you neither deny Nor seek, you enter the mind of the Buddha for the first time.

Gassho
Kokuu
-sattoay/lah-

[Koriki]

"I have worked to do my best, and at death all I wish is that someone says, 'Ah, he was a good guy.'"

That's perfect @TaiShi

"and how they view our struggles is a them problem" I like this expression. I'll have to use it. Thanks @Brett

Gassho,

Koriki
s@lah

[Onsho]

Everyone's answers are so beautiful and intimate and I really appreciate everyone for putting in so much effort.

I imagine if I'm asked what it means to die well from year to year, the answer will change. I've been mulling this question for about a year, and this is what I have refined it down to.

To be able to welcome the rest.

Gassho
Onshō
satlah

[Kaisho]

This is an interesting idea and the older I get (which might be due to getting closer to middle age) the more I think about impacting the world in a positive manner. I think as long as I try to have a positive influence on people's lives in my career and private life I'd say I have died well. Even then if I attempt to make the effort whether or not people appreciate it, it should be enough. (Context is I work with people experiencing homelessness and not all of them want to be in the programs)

Gassho
Kaisho
Satlah